Better Notty than Nutty

The Monk asked me what I had for breakfast.

I said; “I had a BANANA”.

He was quick to whip, “A BIG banana?”

To which I replied, “Nah an average one, UNFORTUNATELY!”

“Gotcha!” he said.

“Can I call you The Monk in my blog?” I asked.

“Oh, monk is fine. Monkey is not. Hahaha!”

“Naaahh...I won’t call you that. As long as you promise not to snatch my bananas. I love to have ‘em for breakfast.”

“Your bananas are safe from me, girl.”

“Hehehe...so is yours!”

“Phew! I was scared there for a second. Hahaha.”

Thus began my very interesting chat with The Monk, who is a friend of Va Va Voom.

As The Monk lives in Athens, Ohio, which is the other side of the world, the day is just ending for him as mine is just beginning. He was watching BBC America before going to bed. I was looking forward to lunch - counting the hours.

The Monk is not a real monk, of course. He is one because he lives like a monk, and is celibate too - for the last 15 years! As The Monk puts it, “I am so far as lifestyle goes. I live in a monastery of one.”

We talked about Va Va Voom, and I said she is under a lot of stress and is no longer the same person I used to know and adore. Well, personally I think she was a lot nicer person before. The corporate rat race is changing her immensely. I don’t like the new person she is becoming – an aggressively ass kissing b**ch with eyes fixed on the corporate ladder. She's beginning to become like The Narcissus. That hurts me a lot. What is happening?

Va Va Voom was dog fighting with another man’s ex-girlfriend - despite my advice for her not to get involved with the stupid man with the stalking ex-girlfriend anymore. Gee, I don’t know Va Va Voom anymore. We don't dress in the same colours anymore.

But I didn’t tell that to The Monk – I kept it in my thoughts. I would still like to think that there’s still much left of the old Va Va Voom in her. Will the real Va Va Voom stand up, please? I would still like to adore you – the good real you.

Nel and The Monk both agreed that Va Va Voom needs massage and a hot bath – and more importantly, a MAN. A good one, and not stupid, either.

I told The Monk, I would never fight for a man. And he said, “No, I would never fight over a man either!” I laughed at his sense of humor.

He added: “We are not worth the effort.”

Yeah…coming from a man...I believe him. The Monk has been one long enough to know. He said, “I've been alive for 47 years. It took only 20 to realize that males are dingbats!” and added, “and women who chase after them are dingy too.” No offense to Va Va Voom, The Monk, said.

“Darn, I don’t wanna be a dingy,” I said.

“No way. I think the trick is to make them chase after you and then you control the pace of the hunt.” How interesting…hmmm, tell me more.

He continued, “I think men are deluded enough that so long as you let them think that you are believing the story they are telling you, you will be okay.”

We talked about celibacy. He has been celibate, by choice for 15 years – but not a good choice that he made, he said! But then, he doesn’t want to ever get married.

I said, “Sex and marriage are two different things.”

He said, “You mean they insist the sex be only in marriage and that marriage always include sex?” Well, sometimes, they are not mutually exclusive. Sometimes, people stop having sex after marriage. I've heard that one before!

The Monk said: “Well, in the sociological sense such an ideal makes sense but our world is so globally mixed now that there doesn't seem to be much reason for isolating gene pools.”

I was confused for a moment. Then, he continued, “It is a shame more people are not mature enough to handle distinctions between recreational and procreational sex.” I laughed.

“There is a bit of the devil in you I think,” The Monk chuckled.

I grinned, “Not evil, just notty. The other banana has to come from somewhere,” I replied, when The Monk suggested that I have two bananas for breakfast instead of one.

He said, “Notty is good. It keeps us in balance and away from going nuts.”

I like that, “Better Notty than Nutty”.