I couldn't sleep last night after waking up from a very bad dream - a nightmare. In the nightmare, The Ex-hubby became a demon that was slained by an unknown angel who then rescued me.
When everything didn't work to make me go back to sleep again, I sat down and prayed to God, to make me feel calmer. Last night I also took the opportunity to pray to God to help me find my "jodoh". I don't wanna live alone anymore. I have to admit, one of the hardest thing about being single again, is that, celibacy is not an easy thing to do!
Every month, every week, every day, every minute and every second counts when your biological clock is ticking and your hormones raging. I admit, I do need a man!
As author Nizami Ganzavi aptly wrote in "Laila Majnun": "Only man can know the pain of having something he does not need, while needing something he does not have..."
Well, you can say that you don't need to be married to have sex, but I really don't wanna go there. I would rather have sex in a committed relationship, a marriage. Then it would really give meaning to the word "making love".
There are 100 ways to speak your mind, 200 ways to write your thoughts, 300 ways to get angry, 400 ways to have your piece of mind, 500 ways to find your lover, 600 ways to leave your lover, 700 ways to please your lover, 800 ways to piss off your lover, 900 ways to please your mom and yet 1000 ways to piss off your mom. But there is absolutely NO WAY I'm going to remain celibate for the rest of my life. Arrrrggggghhhhh noooooooooo!
Three years after my marriage to The Ex-Hubby collasped, and having gone through hell and back to heaven many times over, I believe that now I am ready to be in a committed relationship and in good time, get married and have children. Doesn't matter what took me so long, but what really matters is that I have arrived - finally :)
Monday, August 29, 2005
Saturday, August 06, 2005
I need to get that candy bar!!!
I remember, I used to enjoy competitions when I was a little girl. Even at this age, I still love challenges, just as much. I remember how exhilarating it was to be the first to race to the finish line at the top of the hill, or to win the biggest prize bag of candy, when I was a little girl.
mykart racers
I still feel the same kind of exhilaration when I don't do too badly in a go kart race, or when I reached the peak of a mountain or achieved something for myself. Somehow, I think my life will be greatly enriched if I can find a way to rekindle similar types of feelings again.
mykart k3b
So, I thought today I'd get outside into the sun, and get moving. Since I can manage to take the day off from working this weekend, this would be a good time to release some physical energy. I decided to participate in My-Kart Race Round 7 this morning, after literally being out of action for the last 4-5 monthly races. Being the only female racer on the track today didn't intimidate me at all. I enjoy it, rather!
city karting
As enthusiastic as I were, however, I forgot that practice makes perfect. I haven't been practicing at the track for several months. My skills are quite rusty, and my confidence level on the track is almost non existent especially after the accident during the qualifying round with a stupid bugger who was "just testing his brake"! Caused some damage to my kart's axle. Arrrrrggggggghhhh....he's so stupid!
mykarters
Arrrrrggggggghhhh....expectedly, I finished last today. It was really a hit on my confidence level. Really, I need to build that up again. It's really not Nel when Rizal Halim, a fellow racer, teased me, "Hey you driving a shopping cart ke makcik?" That was a wake up call! I need to get that candy bar!!!
my-karters
mykart racers
I still feel the same kind of exhilaration when I don't do too badly in a go kart race, or when I reached the peak of a mountain or achieved something for myself. Somehow, I think my life will be greatly enriched if I can find a way to rekindle similar types of feelings again.
mykart k3b
So, I thought today I'd get outside into the sun, and get moving. Since I can manage to take the day off from working this weekend, this would be a good time to release some physical energy. I decided to participate in My-Kart Race Round 7 this morning, after literally being out of action for the last 4-5 monthly races. Being the only female racer on the track today didn't intimidate me at all. I enjoy it, rather!
city karting
As enthusiastic as I were, however, I forgot that practice makes perfect. I haven't been practicing at the track for several months. My skills are quite rusty, and my confidence level on the track is almost non existent especially after the accident during the qualifying round with a stupid bugger who was "just testing his brake"! Caused some damage to my kart's axle. Arrrrrggggggghhhh....he's so stupid!
mykarters
Arrrrrggggggghhhh....expectedly, I finished last today. It was really a hit on my confidence level. Really, I need to build that up again. It's really not Nel when Rizal Halim, a fellow racer, teased me, "Hey you driving a shopping cart ke makcik?" That was a wake up call! I need to get that candy bar!!!
my-karters
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
My ideal man is high in demand
Out of curiousity, I decided to take a quiz on my Truematch on LoveHappens website. Here are what the results say about me and my supposedly ideal man....
1) Overall...
You prefer men who are extremely similar to you.
Hmmmm maybe people feel familiar more easily with people who are similar to them? Hehehe, familiarity does not necessarily breeds contempt, you know. In many cases, familiarity breeds children :)
2) What do people see in you?
You're open-minded, extroverted and independent. You're very free-spirited and are also probably fairly liberal in your views. You're like a magnet for love and affection - people just seem to adore you. And, thanks to that healthy dose of self-confidence, you're unusually flexible.
True, true...hehehe what can I say, I'm just cute and adorable :)
3) What are you really looking for?
Your ideal match is warm, knowing and isn't afraid to go after his goals. He tends to be patient with people, too. And if that isn't enough, he pretty much sets the standard for emotional health by being filled with positive feelings and energy - energy he radiates out onto those around him.
Yes, I'd like that very much :)
The fact is, approximately 12% of men have that exact personality type. Another 11% are similar to the type you're looking for.
4) What makes him different from other men?
It's that your ideal man prefers to be dependable and is unusually confident.
Absolutely!
ironman
5) Who's your competition?
About 15% of women your age are after the exact type of man you are. And 12% of men have that personality type. As you can see, your ideal man is in high demand.
Hmmmm...very stiff competition! Not only I have to compete with young girls and old maids, I also have to compete with divorcees too...
6) What's so compelling about him?
Women are most attracted to the extent to which your ideal man is confident.
That's true, I like men who are confident and self-assured, but not perasan hensem lah :)
remote control
7) Who's the right match for you sexually?
Your ideal sexual partner has a strong, healthy, interest in the physical pleasures of sex. He's interested in everything from seduction to experimenting with what feels most pleasurable to. He is secure with sexual abilities, but 's not the type to boast about them. More than others, he needs to feel that sexual experiences are ways of connecting emotionally with partner. To get maximum sexual pleasure, he needs that feeling as well as physical compatibility.
Hehehe...no comment!
8) How rare are men of this sex type?
Your ideal sex partner's combination of sexual tendencies is shared by approximately 14% of all people who have taken our TrueMatch test. Another 42% of men have similar sexual traits.
13% of women are looking for exactly the same kind of man. Another 57% are looking for a similar type of man when it comes to sex. As you can see, your ideal sexual partner is in low demand by other women.
Hehehe...thank GOD! Or is it, HELP me GOD?
suck & blow
9) What do other women find most attractive about your ideal sexual partner?
It's the the extent to which he likes to get creative with sex.
Errr...only to a certain extent please!
1) Overall...
You prefer men who are extremely similar to you.
Hmmmm maybe people feel familiar more easily with people who are similar to them? Hehehe, familiarity does not necessarily breeds contempt, you know. In many cases, familiarity breeds children :)
2) What do people see in you?
You're open-minded, extroverted and independent. You're very free-spirited and are also probably fairly liberal in your views. You're like a magnet for love and affection - people just seem to adore you. And, thanks to that healthy dose of self-confidence, you're unusually flexible.
True, true...hehehe what can I say, I'm just cute and adorable :)
3) What are you really looking for?
Your ideal match is warm, knowing and isn't afraid to go after his goals. He tends to be patient with people, too. And if that isn't enough, he pretty much sets the standard for emotional health by being filled with positive feelings and energy - energy he radiates out onto those around him.
Yes, I'd like that very much :)
The fact is, approximately 12% of men have that exact personality type. Another 11% are similar to the type you're looking for.
4) What makes him different from other men?
It's that your ideal man prefers to be dependable and is unusually confident.
Absolutely!
ironman
5) Who's your competition?
About 15% of women your age are after the exact type of man you are. And 12% of men have that personality type. As you can see, your ideal man is in high demand.
Hmmmm...very stiff competition! Not only I have to compete with young girls and old maids, I also have to compete with divorcees too...
6) What's so compelling about him?
Women are most attracted to the extent to which your ideal man is confident.
That's true, I like men who are confident and self-assured, but not perasan hensem lah :)
remote control
7) Who's the right match for you sexually?
Your ideal sexual partner has a strong, healthy, interest in the physical pleasures of sex. He's interested in everything from seduction to experimenting with what feels most pleasurable to. He is secure with sexual abilities, but 's not the type to boast about them. More than others, he needs to feel that sexual experiences are ways of connecting emotionally with partner. To get maximum sexual pleasure, he needs that feeling as well as physical compatibility.
Hehehe...no comment!
8) How rare are men of this sex type?
Your ideal sex partner's combination of sexual tendencies is shared by approximately 14% of all people who have taken our TrueMatch test. Another 42% of men have similar sexual traits.
13% of women are looking for exactly the same kind of man. Another 57% are looking for a similar type of man when it comes to sex. As you can see, your ideal sexual partner is in low demand by other women.
Hehehe...thank GOD! Or is it, HELP me GOD?
suck & blow
9) What do other women find most attractive about your ideal sexual partner?
It's the the extent to which he likes to get creative with sex.
Errr...only to a certain extent please!
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