Imagine being screwed

no headache 


Yippeeeee...I'm glad the annual report has gone into printing. After four months of hard work, and missing so many heartbeats, at least, I can breathe a little now.

Imagine being screwed left and right, up and down, and all day, more than you can ask for, and worse still, getting none at night!

Today, after presenting our media value index during our group communications meeting, I decided to take off for the day. I mean, for God's sake, I'm on annual leave and what am I doing at work, right? I have a life!

At least, today I managed to do my income tax and finally submitted the forms at the eleventh hour. Hehehe, at least, I won't get screwed by IRS!

No Regrets

American artist, Thomas Kinkade eloquently said, "When we learn to say a deep, passionate yes to the things that really matter... then peace begins to settle onto our lives like golden sunlight sifting to a forest floor."

Life is about the choices we make - we should stand by our choices - no regrets.

Plato on love and marriage

One day, Plato asked his teacher, "What is love? How can I find it?"

The teacher answered, "There's a large wheat field in front. Walk there without turning back, and take just one leaf. If you can find one leaf that you think is extraordinary, it means you have found love."

So Plato walked...and not long after that, he came back empty-handed.

The teacher asked him, "Why, you don't bring any leaf?"

Plato said, "I can only bring just one leaf and when I walked through the wheat field I can't turn my back. Actually I have found one extraordinary leaf, but I don't know whether there's any other leaf more extraordinary, so I didn't take that leaf. When I walked further, I realized that the leaves I found are not as extraordinary compared to the leaf I've found earlier in my walk. In the end, I didn't take any single leaf."

Then the teacher told him, "So...that is love."

Another day, Plato asked his teacher again, "What is marriage? How can I find it?"

The teacher answered, "There is a forest in front. Please walk there and don't look back. You can only cut one tree, and cut the one that you think is the highest. That is when you find marriage."

Plato walks there, and he came back not long after bringing one tree. The tree, however, is not a very good tree and not a very tall one, either. It's just an ordinary tree.

The teacher asked him, "Why did you cut that kind of tree?"

Plato answered, "Because from my previous experience, after walking through the wheat field, I came back with nothing. So this time, when I saw this tree which I think is not so bad, I decided to cut it and bring it here. I don't want to lose another chance to get it." And the teacher said, "Well .. that is marriage."

Some thoughts:

The more you look for love, you will find nothing. Love is in your heart, when you can control your desire and your hope to find something better. When you have endless hope and wish of love, you will only get emptiness...because you won't get anything and time can not be turned back. Accept love for what it is.

Marriage is a continuation of love. It's a process of having chances, and you choose the best option among all the alternatives. If you want to have a perfect match and a perfect marriage, you will only waste your time, because there is no perfect marriage.

Buat jahat berpada-pada, buat baik jangan sekali

An old Malay proverb says, "Buat baik berpada-pada, buat jahat jangan sekali." The proverb says you have to be careful about who you're being good to, and do not once hurt people." Something like that lah.

I think the proverb is wrong in today's context. It should be saying, "Buat jahat berpada pada, buat baik jangan sekali, tapi berkali-kali." Means something like you have to be careful not to hurt people, but do good, not once, but always.

Secrets of A Woman

Some things you never knew... [actually, I never did either...]

Secrets of a Woman
By: Kathryn Eisman


compliment 



The woman you sleep with gazes into your eyes and tells you she loves you. And you believe her. You can tell by the way she looks at you, the way she holds you, the way she seems to always know what you want before you do.

There are a couple of things in life you just know, and love and this naked woman are two of them. But there are a lot of things you don't know.

A woman may give you her body and her heart, but there are parts that she'll never give up - pieces woven into the very fiber of her being. Mysteries only hinted at in a passing sly smile, an inscrutable laugh.

These are the secrets of lovers past, hidden fantasies, and unshared longings. A woman's deepest secrets that don't -- and never will -- include you.

You're about to sample this hidden knowledge. But like any man who seeks, you'd better be prepared for what you're about to find.

1) My best friend knows everything. She knows all of your vitals -- from the size of your bank account to the size of your other, um, holdings -- and she knows how both compare with those of every other man I've ever dated. I have done a hand-comparison measurement so I can divulge size and girth with a high level of accuracy. When my friend smirks at you knowingly, you are not imagining it. She knows. So just know that she knows, and deal with it. (It's not going to change.) Ask her about me, or chat with her about our relationship, at your own risk. She will tell me. Even -- in fact, especially -- if she promises not to. This is not always a bad thing (e.g., if you happen to be telling her how much you love me). But, in general, remember that she is my confidante first, and yours never.

LOL, you don't know my best friends, The Belle of The Party, Deep Blue Sea and Soul Sista!

2) Just looking at your hands can turn me on.

Hehehe...major turn on :)

3) When you go away, even for a day, I sleep in your favorite old T-shirt because it smells like you.

Yes, I would :)

4) I'll never tell you exactly how many men I've slept with. No matter how sincere I appeared when I answered your question, chances are I wasn't. As an unscientific guideline, when a woman says she's slept with four men, the real number is actually closer to seven. Her fib is partly intentional (she doesn't want to appear a floozy), but mostly it's sexual amnesia. When a woman wants to pretend an encounter never occurred, she simply scraps the man from her official score sheet. Common excuses that lead to such an omission: The actual sex lasted only a few thrusts; or she was drunk or on the rebound.

I like that term, "sexual amnesia" :)

5) I fantasized about being with you at least a dozen times before we actually first got naked.

Hehehehe, guilty as charged!

6) I still think about my ex-boyfriends and compare them to you. Mostly you win. Sometimes not.

7) I have Googled your exes.

8) When I'm falling in love with you, I completely lose my appetite.

9) My body really isn't naturally this hairless and smooth all over. But I will never allow you to see any indication whatsoever of all the shaving, tweezing, waxing, exfoliating, and moisturizing that gets it this way.

10) I only appear to have it all together. My true organization (or lack thereof) is revealed in my closet, my makeup bag, my desk files.

11) I have discovered your porn stash and your frequently visited porn websites and think the things that turn you on are hilarious.

12) When I say, "I'm ready," I'll need exactly 7 more minutes to get ready. Don't try to cheat the system by showing up 7 minutes later; I will still need an extra 7 minutes.

13) When I say, "I'll meet you in 15 minutes," I mean I will leave in 15 minutes, and thus won't actually arrive for at least 30 (but probably more like 40).

I shall not argue with the two points above!

14) You've made me cry more times than you'll ever know.

15) I obsess about when you're going to call me again. The period of time between our first date and your "Thanks for a great night; when can I see you again?" always seems stretched into slow motion. So don't worry about looking too eager. Call. Even if you only wait until noon the day after, it will feel like a lifetime to me. And don't send me an e-mail unless you want me to put you in the figurative trash can along with your message.

Uh-huh! Yep!...

16) I want you to talk a little dirty.

Oh yes! Oh yes!

17) At the beginning of our relationship, I save all of your voice mails and listen to them (and make my friends listen, too), repeatedly.

Err...nope. Storage problem.

18) I might wear granny underwear and purposely not shave my legs because I like you. As crazy as it sounds, the more I like you, the less likely I am to sleep with you on an early date, because I don't want to sabotage having a "proper" relationship with you. So I just might purposely hunt out the ugliest underwear in my drawer and not shave my legs -- all to prevent myself from getting naked with you too soon. Sometimes I might get a little tipsy or carried away, and this plan will backfire.

Oh this is so true! No matter how badly I want to throw myself at him, I just wouldn't if he's something special.

shopping 


19) I split the cost of my fashion purchases over two or more credit cards, so you don't notice the gargantuan deficit.

20) I'm constantly testing you. I observe, analyze, and judge every action, word, gesture, e-mail, and facial expression. When I ask you if you want to have a threesome, I don't mean it. If you want me to speak to you again, let alone sleep with you after this conversation, the answer should always be, "Why would I want to sleep with another woman when I have you?"

Guys, please remember this!

21) I check out your butt every time you leave the room. Yes! Yes! Especially if you have a nice sexy butt :)

22) I need constant indications that you want me around. That's why it's better, for example, to say, "I want you to come away with me for the weekend. Could you come with me?" than to ask, "What are you up to this weekend?"

Yes, I totally agree - how would I know if he's so into me if he doesn't make it clearer? Communicate, communicate, communicate!

23) I love it when you get a little jealous. So if you ever see me flirting in front of you with the waiter, the bus driver, or another guy at a party, know I'm actually flirting with you -- through him.

24) Even though I may complain that I don't see you enough (or that you work too hard), I find nothing sexier than watching you put on a suit in the morning and rush off to work.

25) I start fights with you because I'm feeling ignored. I'm trying to force emotion out of you. Don't retreat into your cave; just give me what I want: some attention. And never tell me to "calm down," unless you want to guarantee that I absolutely won't.

26) Even if I insist on paying or splitting the bill on our first date, I'll think you're cheap if you let me.

27) I may find your best friend repulsive, but I've fantasized about sleeping with him. Not because I want him, but because I want a piece of a guy who is so close to you.

28) If I'm going to break up with you, all of my friends know way before you do. I've been talking about it for 2 weeks.

29) When we do break up, I put all photographs of you and mementos of our relationship in a shoe box and store it in my closet. Just in case I get nostalgic. Just in case you come back.

Darn, I should be clearing up pictures of The Ex-Hubby by now.

30) I want you to take control in bed. Yes, I have a successful career, I'm financially independent, I live on my own, and I don't need a man to make me happy (in theory). I still want you to pick me up, carry me to the bedroom, and take without asking.

I totally agree!

Why computers are males

cat & mouse 


Top Ten Reasons Why Computers Are Males:


10. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
9. A better model is always just around the corner.
8. They look nice and shiny until you bring them home.
7. It is always necessary to have a backup.
6. They'll do whatever you say if you push the right buttons.
5. The best part of having either one is the games you can play.
4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
3. The lights are on but nobody's home.
2. Big power surges knock them out for the night.
1. Size does matter

Pilots' gripe sheet

Phew! Thank God it's Friday, my favorite day of the week :) Spreading out my joy, I'd like to share with you something hilarious I received in my mailbox this morning from an old friend, Papa Ben. I'll call it "The pilots' gripe sheet".

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas` pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That`s what they`re for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you`re right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

And the best one for last...

P. Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget
pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget

You have properly working balls?

Computer terminology 



I received this hilarious piece from a fellow My-Karter today:

I don't know how they wrote this with a straight face. This was a real memo sent out by a computer company (IBM) to its employees in all seriousness. It went to all field engineers about a computer peripheral problem. The author of this memo was quite genuine. The engineers rolled on the floor!

Especially note the last couple of sentences.

Re: Replacement of Mouse Balls.

If a mouse fails to operate or should it perform erratically, it may need a ball replacement. Mouse balls are now available as FRU (Field Replacement Units).

Because of the delicate nature of this procedure, replacement of mouse balls should only be attempted by properly trained personnel.

Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining the underside of the mouse. Domestic balls will be larger and harder than foreign balls.

Ball removal procedures differ depending upon the manufacturer of the mouse. Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop-off method. Domestic balls are replaced by using the twist-off method.

Mouse balls are not usually static sensitive. However, excessive handling can result in sudden discharge. Upon completion of ball replacement, the mouse may be used immediately.

It is recommended that each person have a pair of spare balls for maintaining optimum customer satisfaction. Any customer missing his balls should contact the local personnel in charge of removing and replacing these necessary items.

Please keep in mind that a customer without properly working balls is an unhappy customer.

Jenna

Trading what we want most

Meow! 


"Because the mind that created the problem can't create the solution, we must adjust our thinking. Have we ever thought that the main cause for failure and unhappiness is trading what we want most for what we want at the moment."

I read this in an article, "Master Your Inner World" by Stephane Boucher, the creator of http://BestInspiration.com, http://BestMotivation.com and http://BestSpirituality.com.

To sum it up, I think this is why it has been said that good things will come to people who are patient. This is in synch with what Islam teaches - patience is part of faith. If you want to improve your capacity to enjoy life and be happy, then consider starting owning and taking responsibility for your negative emotions. Stop blaming everything else - your parents, your situation, your environment and the list goes on. Realize that ultimately, YOU are the master of your inner world and that nothing outside yourself is the cause of your suffering and should be blamed for it. This will change everything.

On that note, I'm glad with my decision to take A-Quran study classes, which will start this afternoon, actually. In my 34 years of living life so far, I've never even once completed the Al-Quran. I feel that not knowing how to read the Al-Quran is such a loss for me, being a Muslim.

When my parents went their separate ways when I was 13, no one was paying attention to me and my brothers' religious education, especially after our religious teacher passed away. I used to blame my parents for my lack of religious background. Despite having a father who used to work in the state's religious department, I'm not well-versed with Islamic teachings and I can't read the Al-Quran very well.

When I got married, my ex-husband, Tahir promised to teach me, as he used to be a Qaari, and he reads very well, but that never happened. As a husband, he failed to lead me into the right path.

After my divorce, I have wanted to enrol in Al-Quran classes at the national mosque, Majid Negara, but because of my erratic schedule, I've been shelving my plans for the longest time. I feel that I've been procrastinating for far too long.

So, today, I'm taking the bull by the horn. Wish me all the best, and that I will complete reading the Al-Quran, very soon. I really hope to do it before I turn 35.

Your greatest source of misery

Job 


The great thinker and philosopher, Aristotle once said, “Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work”. I find my pleasure in my work is eroding by the day because I have to work with Bithcy Old Maid and her sorts.

Microsoft’s Bill Gates once said, “ Your most unhappy customers are your greatest source of learning.” While I truly agree with Bill’s words, I feel compelled to add, “Your most unhappy colleagues are your greatest source of misery”.

Bitchy Old Maid was being difficult again today. All I needed was our calendar of events for the annual report in a format, which I have provided to everyone concerned. What I don’t understand is when everyone were able to revert with the same format, she couldn’t. Instead, she asked me to pick whatever events I want from their operations review and community relations write ups and put it in the format we want myself. In other words, she was reluctant to do it herself, and expect me to do her work for her.

When I explained to her, that’s not what was required, she refused to budge and insist on her way. So, I had no choice but to bring this matter up to my boss because I was being pressed to meet my deadline. When my boss asked her, she agreed to do it in our format. Well, I think what she wanted was for my boss and not me to tell her to do it as I’m just an underdog. Do you get this all the time, or is it just me?

But then again, nothing is going to get Nel down. It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you get back up. If I treat every situation as a life-and-death matter, I'll die a lot of times. Oh man!

On the brighter side, I shall remind myself what Mark Twain once said, “Keep away from small people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”

Curious paradox on change

Serenity Prayer 


I was just revisiting my post, "Happy New Year" on New Year 2005 Resolutions (click on the post title), and reflecting on my post my post on "Rebranding Nel".

Taking on these posts, I think recent changes will definitely take some getting used to. Just like new year resolutions, not many people successfully keep to them but that doesn't mean they won't work. They will work if you want them to work, and I really do want to make them work! Hehehe just give me some time -- and I'll be ready to cooperate with the universe :)

The curious paradox is that when we accept myself just as we are, then we can change. Our dilemma is that we hate change and love it at the same time; what we really want is for things to remain the same but get better.

Talk about a big change -- I can feel it coming and I'm ready. When it happens, I'll know it. My best bet now is to think about the best ones that have ever come my way, and to prepare for it once again.

Anyways, I got a call from a headhunter this morning about an events manager post. So, I'm looking forward to meet her tomorrow for a "profiling", which is step they need to take before an interview takes place. Well, I'm excited!

Ketam Melayu & Ketam Cina

An interesting story I received from an old friend today:

Tak lama dulu ada seorang melayu yang ingin makan lauk ketam. Pada pagi tu dia pergilah ke pasar borong dan berjalan ke satu kedai milik cina yang menjual ketam.

Melayu: Apek! Itu ketam ada jual ka?

Cina: Ada...ada...lu mau ketam cina ka ketam melayu?

Melayu: Aik! Ketam pun ada melayu dengan cina ka apek? Cuba lu tunjuk mana ketam melayu, mana ketam cina?

Cina: Itu sana dalam bekas ada tutup...ketam cina.......sana dalam bekas tak ada tutup...ketam melayu la....

Melayu: Apa pasal ketam cina apek kasi tutup...ketam melayu apek tak kasi tutup?

Cina: Itu ketam cina kalau satu ekor keluar...yang lain akan tengok dan kasi belajar macam mana boleh keluar dari bekas. Nanti lama-lama semua ketam pandai macam mana mau keluar dari bekas. Jadi semua keluar la.

Melayu: Ketam melayu tak itu macam ka?

Cina: Ketam melayu, kalau satu ekor keluar yang lain kasi tarik itu kaki ketam tadi...jangan kasi keluar. Dia mau dia seekor saja keluar...yang lain biar dalam bekas. Kalau dia sudah keluar, dia terus lari, tak mau ajar yang lain macam mana mau keluar.

Begitulah cerita ketam Melayu dengan ketam Cina.

Hakikatnya, jika orang cina berniaga....cina lain tak kacau...dia tengok aje dan belajar macam mana boleh berjaya. Cina dah berjaya tu pulak, akan ajar cina lain agar berjaya jugak. Kalau orang melayu, bila satu melayu nak berjaya, melayu lain akan guna apa saja supaya melayu tu jatuh balik. Macam ketam melayu, bila sekor ketam dah berjaya nak naik, ketam lain tarik kaki dia, at last sorang pun tak dapat naik . Lepas tu mula lah bergaduh sesama sendiri.

Itulah hakikat sebenar sekarang ini. sebab tu melayu tak maju ....Nak maju kenalah ubah nasib kita ini supaya lebih competitive. Bukan semuanak kena 'spoon feed'. Mesti tunjuk usaha (EFFORT) yang betul. Otherwise, kita semua akan jadi bahan sejarah. Bak kata Karam Singh Walia ...'Ke langit tak cecah ke bumi tak sampai '.

Emotional holocaust

UEM Group's Go Kart Team 



I was cleaning up my desk drawers at work this morning and found this picture. I participated in a go-kart tournament organised by my company. Racing back on the memory lane, that sparked the beginning of my initial interest in go-karting. Joining My-Kart Team sparked my passion in go-karting.

It's great to see old pictures, especially ones I saw at my brother Sub's wedding on Sunday night. I don't even remember some of the picture in the slide shows, but looking back in time, I can see what a happy family we were, well, until my parents broke up in 1983. Deep down, I think my parent's broken marriage, coupled with my own failed marriage, did have an adverse effect on my perception on love and marriage. Adding salt to my wound was the very messed up relationship with that jerk, Medicine Man.

These past three years has been an emotional holocaust for me when it comes to relationships. I'm trying to be a positive as I can be. Things that I've done over the last three years have helped me become strong, especially the extreme sports that I'm into - go-karting, mountain trekking, white water rafting and such. They're good emotional therapy. Excellent emotional release, I must say!

My brother got married!

I gained a younger sister when my youngest brother, Sub took his marriage vow on Saturday night in a magnificent ceremony at Elle's house in Paroi Jaya, Seremban. Sub "lafaz" his "akad nikah" in one single breath, which is very ideal.

exchanging rings 


After the "lafaz", Elle, his bride, dressed in a sparkling white splendour, joined Sub as he calmly reads his marriage vows and nuptials.

huffiz & elle 


On Sunday night, the bride's family hosted a grand reception at Dewan Majlis Perbandaran Seremban, graced by the Chief Minister of Negeri Sembilan. Despite heavy rain that stops just an hour before the reception, the municipal hall was a full house.

As I looked at Sub sitting on the dais with his bride, this came into my mind: He is no longer a boy. He's a man now.

bersanding in seremban 


Click on the post title to see pictures of the ceremony and reception.