Let's take a walk in the park

The game of love, as I see it, is like taking a walk in a park. Some people have been to the park many many times and after a while forgot the wonders that the gardens in the park offer. They just want to rush to that white gazebo. For some, this is their first time walking in the park. They are taken in by the wonders, taking time to explore every garden in the park, breathe the air, smell the flowers, feel the grass under their feets. They see that white gazebo, but thought it can wait.

klcc park 


For some, this is their first time walking in the park. They are taken in by the wonders, taking time to explore every garden in the park, breathe the air, smell the flowers, feel the grass under their feets. But they see didn't see that white gazebo, they kept hopping on to different gardens. For other first timers, they walk in the park but just fail to see the wonders, or even know that the white gazebo exists and where.

klcc park 


Some people see the park from afar but other things in life becomes priority, so they never thought of stepping into the gardens thinking naaahhh, it's waste of time walking in the park. That white gazebo will still be there, if I want to get there at all. Some people learned about the park and are planning to get there but are still finding their way to park, getting lost somewhere. If only they care to ask for directions! Some people are so romantically and emotionally deficient...blurrr...hah, what park!?

klcc park 

Mencari Cinta?

Every now and then, I do feel a kind of urgent need for stability. Those who are happily married and settled down may not understand what I feel, but those who are single and looking may feel this sometimes. Some feel it all the time. Or else, reality shows like "Mencari Cinta" or "Who Wants To Marry My Dad" won't have wide audiences.

But what is really behind this feeling? It's like this, really. Sometimes, I just wanna find a partner and settle down, even if I have to throw caution in the wind and take a blind chance by taking the second best option. All my options right now are second best or not good for me. There's always a piece of the jigsaw puzzle missing in what I see in them. I haven't found that X-Factor I'm looking for.

When I become rational and "sober" again, the urgency just dissipates and dies down. Then I'd be thinking, hey, I don't wanna settle for the second best option just because I haven't come across my best option. Because only the best option will do. Plainly put, I don't wanna get married for the sake of getting married. Everything must feel and look right, and it will be a decision that I can make peace with for a lifetime. Call me choosy and picky, I will agree.

My new housemate suggested I make my wish list - list down all the qualities that my life partner must have, as well as things that I can compromise, and habits that are no-no for me. That way, I'll be more focused and won't waste my time on candidates who don't meet my wish list, and will weed out losers right at the start. She also said I should set my passing requirement, say at 80:20 ratio just like Pareto's Law. Wow, this is serious stuff! Hehehe I'm coming with my wish list...coming soon!

Reunion jitterbugs

Reunions always give me jitters, like the one I went to last night. I met again, after more than a year, almost 100 college mates who attended the State University of New York at Buffalo twinning program under Universiti Teknologi MARA's Preparatory College, Subang Jaya Campus. It was great to meet up old friends. Some of them I couldn't even recognized because of some "expansion exercise" due to certain "acquisition exercises".

Almost everyone, save for a few bujang terlajak, are already married and have families, or at least are engaged or have steady partners. This is where I'm lacking, because I'd be lost in conversations when they start talking about kids. I'd feel out of place...

committee


Everyone, well almost, comes with a partner, and some with kids in tow. I came solo, because I have no steady partner to bring along. I can't bring a date, especially an impromptu casual date. My old friends will think this casual date is my steady partner. Then, if I bring a different date next time, it will confuse them real good.

Even if Orang Minyak is here and I invite him to come as my date, he still can't be seen with me for now, because he's married and there's a chance someone might know him and his wife. Just like what Ruby's Principle of Close Encounters state: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with. Hehehe...I can't imagine the ruse. Hehehe I'll try to find someone single and available, that'll be my first option.

Omigod, being dateless sometimes stresses me up real good!

kaum bapa


Nevertheless, last night's reunion was better than the one before because no one asked where is The Ex-hubby. Last year, two of my alumni friends asked. Consequently the room suddenly got hushed by quitened whispers of the other alumni.

I just told them with such indifference that The Ex-Hubby is in Sabah, but not mentioning the divorce. I'm not too bothered actually, but somehow people just hushed whenever the subject surfaces. It's like a taboo question. Nevertheless, I don't blame them though. Perhaps, tpeople just don't understand, divorce is not necessarily a bad thing. You don't have to be worse off than when you were married. Sometimes a new chapter in life is what you need to become a stronger person.

kaum ibu


Anyways, I think the two guys got cornered and was given a long sermon from The Thinking Man, who is a good friend and Protemp President of our alumni, after making such a faux pas.

I think next reunion will be much better and I'd feel more at ease. Hopefully I will have a steady partner to bring along to such gatherings of old friends. Not to show off but at least I don't have to feel like an odd man out. Or odd woman out, rather.

I wonder who it will be? Hmmm...

Married but available

I talked to The Athenian Monk about what Misai Kucing was telling me about the prospect of marrying a married man. Fortunately for some and unfortunately for others, polygamy is legal and sanctioned in Malaysia, being a Muslim country.

I have heard that while you can choose who want to marry, you cannot choose who you love because love comes unexpectedly and catches you by surprise. What if you fall in love with someone who is married but available, and your love is reciprocated?

The Athenian Monk said, "That's part of life, I suppose. I've been 'in love' with others who are not available. After a few months the hormone level dropped and it was easier to let them live their life and love from a distance."

He advised me, nevertheless, "Well, if you ever become a second wife (touch wood), I would hope you are able to love the other woman and she in return love you. Or keep separate houses!" Perhaps, if such a situation can exist.

The Athenian Monk then shared with me part of his beautiful poem, which is still work in progress, "Love is the touch of another soul. Love is a rose given to a stranger. Love is responding to myriad cries to be held. Love is healing. Love is teaching. Love is a kiss hello, a tear when parting. Love transcends time and is not limited by space, by fear, but opinions. Love fills you completely and never brings anxiety, doubt, worry or humiliation. Love is touching a soul."

In the meantime, I'm still hoping to find someone who is single and available. Despite what he said about settling down for someone who is married but available, I should give my best shot to make it work with someone who is single and available.

He said don't marry a man because he is single and available, and don't reject a man just because he is married.

The world is a great book

Aurelius Augustinus [more commonly known as "St. Augustine of Hippo," and often simply "Augustine"] (354-430 C.E.): rhetor, Christian Neoplatonist, North African Bishop, Doctor of the Roman Catholic Church, once wrote, "The world is a great book; he who never stirs from home, reads only a page."

I decided to stir from home and read a chapter, if not an entire book, by travelling up north to Penang for a short break, a mini sabatical from work and my usual self. My vacation from Me, Myself and I, or Naliza, Nel and Liza.

I enjoyed both my journey and reaching my destination. Driving solo on the North South Highway from Kuala Lumpur to Butterworth was four hours of self discovery, thought exploratory and self reflections. I started off at noon yesterday and I managed to stop by several rest areas to check out on the facilities. I was glad the toilets at Sungai Buloh, Bukit Gantang, Sungai Perak and Tapah are relatively clean. Well, I'm such a stickler for clean toilets.

I managed to have Burger King lunch at Sungai Buloh Overhead Bridge Restaurants and buy some local fruits like pink guava and mangoes at Bukit Gantang and Sungai Perak. At Bukit Gantang, I parked next to an amry armored truck and chatted with a couple of the soldiers. Out of curiousity, I wanted to know if the interior of the armored vehicle is air-conditioned. One of them was laughing out loud, and the other giggled at my question. Well, I'm relieved to know it is air-conditioned, otherwise, you can fry eggs in there. It's like a sauna minus air-conditioning. Hehehe, when you ask a stupid question, you don't necessarily get a stupid answer. You might get invited to look inside :)

I was planning to hop on a ferry from Butterworth to Penang, but at the last minute I decided to take the Penang Bridge instead. The bridge is rather congested, so I definitely agree they need to either widen it or build a second link to the island. I managed to check into Sheraton Penang after an hour on the brigde, and another half hour getting lost in the city looking for the hotel! Penang streets can be very confusing if you miss a turning, because there too many one way streets.

After freshening up and taking a short nap, I called up Misai Kucing who lives in Kulim (on the mainland, about half hour's drive from Penang) and asked him to cross over and take me out for dinner. What are friends for, anyways? We had grilled cockles and cuttlefish, fried kuey teow and pasembor at Padang Kota, a popular hawker center in Penang. After that, we drove along Gurney Drive and around Penang.

Before we parted last night, Misai Kucing cooked up an interesting question to me. Would I consider being someone's second wife? I hesitated in my answer so he said being at this age and a divorcee, my options are pretty limited, because I'm in the same race with the old maids. He said there's nothing wrong with polygamy if the intention is good and all concerned parties understand and accept their respective roles in such a marriage institution. Wow, what a thought, but at least I know what men are thinking in general about divorcees my age. Malaysian men, at least.

I do realise that I'm in a tight race against my own biological clock if I want my own biological child, legitimately. I need a good candidate to become the legitimate father of my unborn children. Otherwise, I'll just have to adopt an orphan or two.

What a thought to ponder, thanks to Misai Kucing. Well, my priority of choice would still be single men who are available. That includes divorcee, with or without kids.

Come to think of it, what if the reason I haven't found Mr. Right is because he is already married, and I have to become a second wife to him? Shucks! That's certainly not something I'm fond to think about, I better pray harder to God that my Mr. Right is single and available. In fact, last night I literally prayed, and hard.