As good as it gets...

I had Teh Tarik with my journalist friend Bumper-To-Bumper at Mutiara Bangsar's Happening Mamak. She always has spicy stories to tell.

After my Teh Tarik with Bumper-To-Bumper and her colleague, I went to The Croppes in Bangsar, to do my hair. Felix is one of the few hairdressers I know who handles natural curls wonderfully. Not many hairdressers know how to handle my natural curls. My hair has a mind of its own. That's why I always go to him.

With my new coiffeur, I feel like going to some place to be seen. So I sat at The Strudels just across the street and sipped on my Vanilla Latte and Mango Tart. Mmmmmm delicious!

Suddenly, Medicine Man, my jealous ex-boyfriend called and wanted me to wait for him until he comes. While waiting, Leslean, Bernama's Klang Bureau Chief appeared and together with her friend, Izzaty, a journalist with The Star joined me for drinks. Girls Talk.

When Medicine Man appeared, I excused myself and joined him at Mahbub's. We had a long discussion about our situation. He can't trust me, and want to take time to do that. But he also wanted a cooling off period until January next year, and if we are still available then, we should reconsider marriage.

I said nothing. It doesn't make sense to me at all. Why is it so difficult to trust me. His ex-wife may be unfaithful, but why shouldn't he forget the past, move on, and realise that I am not like that. So, I told him, we are only friends. I don't want a cooling off period. Three break-ups in so short a time are more than I can handle. This is as good as it gets...

It is nicer to have someone who is hopeless in love with you, rather than being hopelessly in love with someone, and it is not what you hoped for it to be. Tell me, is it worth the emotional pain?

The Old Farmer and His Donkey

I gave my third speech from the story telling manual / advanced communication & leadership manual at Promuda Toastmasters Club Meeting tonight.

My speech was called "The Old Farmer and His Donkey":

One day The Old Farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbours to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, The Donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, The Old Farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, The Donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.

As The Old Farmer's neighbours continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as The Donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!

Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.

Anyways, the next day, The Old Farmer, His Son, and The Donkey were going to town. The Son rode on The Donkey and The Old Farmer walked.

As they went along they passed some people who remarked it was a shame the old man was walking and the boy was riding. The Old Farmer and His Son thought maybe the critics were right, so they changed positions.

Later, they passed some people that remarked, "What a shame, he makes that little boy walk." They then decided they both would walk!

Soon they passed some more people who thought they were stupid to walk when they had a decent donkey to ride. So, they both rode The Donkey.

Now they passed some people that shamed them by saying how awful to put such a load on a poor donkey. The Old Farmer and His Son, said they were probably right, so they decided to carry The Donkey.

As they crossed the bridge, they lost their grip on the animal and he fell into the river and drowned.

The moral of the story:
If you try to please everyone, you might as well kiss your ass good-bye!

What dreams may come

They say dreams are powerful; so I believe it is worth keeping a journal of the ones that seem to contain a message. For the past three weeks, I've been having a series of dreams that if I would write a script, it would be a soap opera in the making. This soap opera would be called "I Dream of Tahir" - The Ex Hubby.

Last night, I dreamt of having Sahur with him, cooking his favorite food, my gourmet scrambled eggs with smoked salmon and chives. He would tell me I am an excellent cook and he would want seconds or thirds. Like the old days when we were happy together. I miss that. He still lives in the back of my mind and in the corner of my heart. How can you suddenly stop loving someone you have loved for almost 15 years? Which is why I've never really understood why did he changed so suddenly - I still haven't solved the puzzle. Worse, we never had a closure - and the feeling of something undone is very unsettling. If he talks to me at least, I'd feel better and will understand.

I believe that true love never dies, just like an energy - it just evolves. Means, even if I'm not romantically in love with him, I would still love him in other ways. I wish we're friends and that he would open up to me - as friends would.

The only thing that is constant

Just over a week shy from turning 34, I felt it's time to reflect on my life so far. Graphically speaking, my life comprises a series of constant changes, on different Richter scales. They say, "the only thing that is constant is change itself," and this really epitomises my life especially since the turn of the new millenium.

But I am not complaining. I've never like to settle down or like to stick to a routine life anyways - I am a "squiggle". If change doesn't come to me, I'll seek it, with a thirst - because I need it every now and then. Maybe it's the "phoenix rising" in my birth star that influences me.

Being a romantic and an idealist, I like new beginnings as much as I like happy endings. But I believe, the experiences sandwiched in between the loaf are what count most. They shape who and what we were yesterday, have become today and are to become tomorow. It is the journey that makes life interesting, not the destination. We all know where we are going at the end of the day - going six feet under is inevitable for the mortals. But we are here now - so we make the most of our days.

Pantun Melayu Moden

Buah cempedak di luar pagar
Ambil galah tolong jolokkan
Kenapa kau nak jolok pakai galah
Sebab cempedak tu dah jatuh kat luar pagar ..

Kalau ada sumur di ladang
Bolehlah hamba menumpang mandi
Patutlah bau badan kau busuk semacam
Bilik air ada, buat apa kau mandi kat ladang..

Pisang emas dibawa berlayar
Masak sebiji di atas peti
Kat pasaraya tak ada hutang hutang
Kalau nak, bayar, 'Cash On Delivery'.

Kalau ada jarum yang patah
Jangan di simpan di dalam peti
Kesian betul dengan kau ni
Jarum patah pun kau simpan dalam peti..

Dua tiga kucing berlari
Mana nak sama si kucing belang
Kalau kau berani kejarlah kucing tu
Mesti kau kena cakar sampai berbelang- belang gak..

Kajang Pak Malau kajang berlipat
Kajang hamba mengkuang layu
Kain Pak Malau, Mak Limah yang lipat
Kain aku, si pencuri yang sapu.

Rumah Pak Mamat di tepi sawah
Pakai langsir berwarna biru
Ooi Pak Mat, langsir warna biru tak lawa lah
Pakailah warna kuning ke, hijau ke, kelabu asap ke..

Air pasang dalam surut pukul lima
Nyonya bangun pagi siram pokok bunga
Haloo nyonya, mau tanya sikit
Siram pokok bunga aje, tak jual sayur ka?

Tuai padi antara masak
Esok jangan layu-layuan
Kalau padi tu belumlah masak
Janganlah tuai, taklah layu-layuan...

Limau purut masak di dahan
Batang selasih condong uratnya
Limau purut tak boleh makan
Nanti sakit perut apa ubatnya..

Pulau Pandan jauh ke tengah
Gunung Daik bercabang tiga
Buat apa nak ke Pulau Pandan yang jauh tu
Pergi aje ke Kampung Pandan.

Sorong papan tarik padan
Buah keranji dalam perahu
Tolonglah jangan makan buah keranji tu
Nanti badan kau orang berbau..

Hayya Cik Siti, perempuan banyak muda
Ana banyak takut jalan tutup mata
Memanglah takut kalau jalan tutup mata
Sebab takut terpijak lubang 'Indah Water'.

Encik Baba jatuh dalam parit
Cik Aminah ketawa jerit jerit
Sampai hati Cik Aminah ketawakan saya jerit-jerit
Mentang-mentanglah saya jatuh dalam parit.

Buai laju laju
Sampai pokok sena
Woii, jangan buai laju-laju
Nanti kang tercampak kat pokok sena.

Timang tinggi-tinggi
Sampai cucur atap
Cucur atap tak sedap
Cucuk pisang, cucur udang, haaa tu sedap.

Sans Prejudis

I must say that I enjoy reading every comment posted by The Mutt on my blog. For a 17-year old, he does have a lot on his mind. If not for the Algebra and Trigonometry that he talks about, I would wonder if he's lying about his age :)

Yesterday, he commented on my post on "A Disgusted White Girl vs Malay Girls," saying that he likes my closing remark on that post, which said, "As a citizen of a multi-racial country and a citizen of the world, I do not have racial prejudices in choosing my friends or candidate for a life partner. My discrimination is in choosing friends with positive attitudes and admirable characters. I also believe that Men, must also possess admirable virtues to get a Virtuous Woman. You must deserve her. Virtuous Men begets Virtuous Women."

He also said: "I knew there were more people in the real world (the world that is changing), people that have values, have gone through test and trial to achieve understanding as to what makes a partner truly valuable. I am sickened to be white because of not only the work of my ancestors but also at my distant American / Canadian cousins who constantly look at themselves in the social mirror. But on the other hand, I know a few americans / canadians that remind me that being racist against my own ethnic group and opening my arms to other ethnic groups is something related to hypocrisy, or at least double-standards."

What I find interesting in his point is the hypocrisy in opening one's arms to other ethnic groups, but in doing that one creates double standards to be seen as racially unprejudiced. Let me illustrate what I mean. Say, a white man, in overcoming his prejudice against coloured people, will be extra nice to them, and in doing so will be less nice to his own people. Something like what Affirmative Action has done. Thus, in creating double standards, he discriminate his own kind.

no prejudice 


I believe what should have been in the first place, is, to avoid creating double standards. Treat another person of a different race as you would your own race - treat everyone as equals. In being kind to other races, we cannot be less kind to our own. In being open to other cultures, we cannot be less proud of our own.

If at all you need or want to treat him or her differently, it is only because of the differences in the cultural expectations. Because, in trying to understand another's culture, you cannot think and feel in your own culture. More importantly, we cannot impose our culture on others - that would be colonialism. Especially so when you are in a foreign land, because you are the foreigner in another's country.

Meet Brad...

After over a year of contemplating whether I should get a new car, I finally got my new car this afternoon. My decision to finally to buy a new car now and not later was mainly driven by the fact that my old Proton Wira Aeroback 1.3M held so many bitter memories with Medicine Man.

Not only that, he dented my steering wheel cap and refused to replace it, saying what he spent on my diamond jewelry should more than cover the damage to my car. Gosh, how uncouth! So un-gentlemanly. The diamond chain, pendant and ear studs were my birthday present.

My new car is a new chapter in my life - it's a sleek black Hyundai Getz 1.6GL which I paid RM71,800 for. Being a spend thrift, it's the most expensive car I ever owned. I don't believe in spending too much on my car because I'd rather have ready cash in hand. At least I'd have the financial flexibility to pursue things that I like, such as traveling, shopping, dining out, and have enough money to save and invest. Buying another property wouldn't be such a bad idea...

Anyways, I've decided that my car should be a MALE, because it's sporty, solid and masculine. I hate cars that are too feminine. I've named him BRAD, after Brad Pitt, my ideal sexy male. Gosh he's so yummy...and I'm taking BRAD for a ride everyday :)

Pinnochio Effect

When C. Collodi wrote "The Adventures of Pinocchio", he was not kidding about the fact that Pinocchio's nose actually grew longer. The author did actually do his homework, well, either that or it is a serendipity.

Do you know that it is a fact that one's nose can actually enlarge when the person is intentionally lying - I mean "The Malicious Lie" as opposed to "The White Lie".

To prove my point, I would like to share with you an interesting fact that I have learned from the book I'm reading right now, "The Definitive Book of Body Language" by Barbara & Allan Pease.

According to Barbara & Allan Pease, Scientists at the Smell & Taste Treatment & Research Foundation in Chicago found that when ones lies, chemicals known as catecholamines are released, causing tissue inside the nose to swell. They even used special cameras that show blood flow in the body to reveal that intentional lying also causes an increase in blood pressure. This technology indicates that the human nose actually expands when a person is lying - this is known as the "Pinnochio Effect".

Increased blood pressure inflates the nose and causes the nerve endings in the nose to tingle, resulting in brisk rubbing action to the nose with the hand to "satisfy" the "itch". So be wary if someone touches his nose so often (save for sinuses and allergies, of course!) when having a conversation with you.

Ah hah! Another give away - do you know that a man's penis also swells with blood when he tells a lie? Hehehe...as the authors suggested, maybe the Grand Jury should have pulled Bill's trousers down instead!