After my lip smacking Nasi Kandar Lunch with Maria at Lotus, Jalan Binjai, we hopped over to Lecka Lecka for ice cream and then Chocz at Suria KLCC for hot chocolate indulgence. At least, working on editing the newsletter on my vacation did not sound as bad after Lecka Lecka and Chocz. I will start my diet come the new year!
Anyways, after my meeting with Maria, I watched Meet The Fockers. I'm usually skeptical about sequels but this one was very hilarious - just as good at Meet The Parents.
Synopsis: Greg Focker (Stiller) and his fiancee, Pam Byrnes (Polo), think everything is hunky-dory now that Greg has won over his soon-to-be in-laws, Jack (De Niro) and Dina Byrnes (Danner). But that's before Pam's parents meet Greg's parents, the Fockers. The hyper-relaxed Fockers and the tightly wound Byrneses are mismatched from the start.
The movies stars Robert De Niro, Ben Stiller, Blythe Danner, Teri Polo, Dustin Hoffman, Barbra Streisand, Alanna Ubach, Dorie Barton, Ray Santiago, Karen Gordon, Kathleen Gati, J.P. Manoux, Allan Kolman, Kyle T. McNamee, Bob Marx, Aleksandrs Petukhovs and Tim Blake Nelson.
I was in stitches all the way, and I must say this is value for the RM10.00 I paid for my ticket and queuing up half an hour to buy it and watching it alone. Barbra Streisand as Greg's sex therapist mom, Dr. Roz Focker, is hilarious. Hehehe...I won't spoil it for you by telling all. Go watch it!
Thursday, December 30, 2004
My poor ovaries!
I went for my gynaecologist appointment at HMS Medical Centre in Darby Park this morning - a follow up from my Pap Smear Test just last month.
I must say, after some time being celibate, it's rather uncomfortable having a plastic probe stuck up my uterus, which definitely will pass through my vagina. I had to do that last month, and this morning, my gynae had to stuck up the probe again to scan my uterus and ovaries. And at the same time being asked by my expressionless gynae if I'm sexually active currently. Fortunately or unfortunately, I'm not and ooh don't I just wish that I am married right now!!!
Dr. C.C. Chung said I cannot cure my Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) because I was born with it and the microscopic cysts will just shed off and regrow on my ovaries throughout my life. But I can control it - and he gave a calorie guide book. I have to reduce stress and lose 10% of my weight in order to get my menstrual cycle back on track.
He has put me on a birth control pill called Yasmin that will help me regulate my period. I was skeptical because I don't want to get fat on those pills. But he said, Yasmin has no side effects, and will in fact, help me reduce weight, and make my skin softer and glow with radiance - I agreed right away.
I must say, after some time being celibate, it's rather uncomfortable having a plastic probe stuck up my uterus, which definitely will pass through my vagina. I had to do that last month, and this morning, my gynae had to stuck up the probe again to scan my uterus and ovaries. And at the same time being asked by my expressionless gynae if I'm sexually active currently. Fortunately or unfortunately, I'm not and ooh don't I just wish that I am married right now!!!
Dr. C.C. Chung said I cannot cure my Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) because I was born with it and the microscopic cysts will just shed off and regrow on my ovaries throughout my life. But I can control it - and he gave a calorie guide book. I have to reduce stress and lose 10% of my weight in order to get my menstrual cycle back on track.
He has put me on a birth control pill called Yasmin that will help me regulate my period. I was skeptical because I don't want to get fat on those pills. But he said, Yasmin has no side effects, and will in fact, help me reduce weight, and make my skin softer and glow with radiance - I agreed right away.
Sunday, December 26, 2004
I'm in love with...
I spent half a Boxing Day at City Karting Shah Alam, practicing with my brother, Huffiz and Brian, a fellow My-Karter, who trained Porsche car racers in the United States. I had a chance to learn a thing or two from Wei Leong, Malaysia's Formula 2000 champ. He's currently training up young and upcoming racers on the Swiss Hutless Rotax Max 125cc. They start as young as 7 years old.
I also checked out used go-kart prices - Wai Leong said the Swiss Hutless is selling for RM12K. There's a cheaper range selling for about RM8.5K. But, I'm in love with the Intrepid 125cc, which is just one race old, selling at RM22K. Man oh man...don't I just wish that I have a rich boyfriend who would buy me that!
Haslina Ali, or "Bubu" another My-Karter who was training together with us today, bought one for RM7.5K a couple of years ago.
I also checked out used go-kart prices - Wai Leong said the Swiss Hutless is selling for RM12K. There's a cheaper range selling for about RM8.5K. But, I'm in love with the Intrepid 125cc, which is just one race old, selling at RM22K. Man oh man...don't I just wish that I have a rich boyfriend who would buy me that!
Haslina Ali, or "Bubu" another My-Karter who was training together with us today, bought one for RM7.5K a couple of years ago.
Saturday, December 25, 2004
Xmas Shopping Spree
Merry Christmas, folks! How did I spend my Christmas Day? Having a shopping spree with Emak! Jealous? Hehehe, don't be! Shopping spree would have been a girl's wildest dream...but not today. Today, we shopped for inventory for my mother's petit grocery store, Nel Grocers, as I like to call it.
A trip each to Pasar Kampung Baru to buy cigarettes, Pasar Chow Kit to buy eggs, and several trips to Carrefour, to buy almost everything else. We wanted to go to Topzeller and Makro for more things but we didn't manage to.
Hehehe...my biceps must have grown more muscular in a day carrying heavy bulky items like crates of 1.5 litre mineral water bottles, several dozens of 2kg sugar packets, 2 bags of 10kg Beras Basmathi Mogul, 10 bags of 2kg Beras Basmathi Biasa. Not to mention at least 20 kg of chicken parts, and 10 kgs of packet drinks. These are only half of the things we bought!
Bah, I haven't mentioned to you about loading stuff into my car and unloading them. Gosh, this is hard work!
One of the things I enjoy doing shopping with Emak is that I get to learn new roads, short cuts and backroads almost everytime. She's good at roughing it out, and she drives like a rally driver (hehehe...would have won Paris Drakkar Rally!) - one of the reasons I get nervous when she drives my brand new Hyundai Getz!
A trip each to Pasar Kampung Baru to buy cigarettes, Pasar Chow Kit to buy eggs, and several trips to Carrefour, to buy almost everything else. We wanted to go to Topzeller and Makro for more things but we didn't manage to.
Hehehe...my biceps must have grown more muscular in a day carrying heavy bulky items like crates of 1.5 litre mineral water bottles, several dozens of 2kg sugar packets, 2 bags of 10kg Beras Basmathi Mogul, 10 bags of 2kg Beras Basmathi Biasa. Not to mention at least 20 kg of chicken parts, and 10 kgs of packet drinks. These are only half of the things we bought!
Bah, I haven't mentioned to you about loading stuff into my car and unloading them. Gosh, this is hard work!
One of the things I enjoy doing shopping with Emak is that I get to learn new roads, short cuts and backroads almost everytime. She's good at roughing it out, and she drives like a rally driver (hehehe...would have won Paris Drakkar Rally!) - one of the reasons I get nervous when she drives my brand new Hyundai Getz!
Thursday, December 23, 2004
Chocolate
Chocolate: A Boon for the Libido and the Heart
Research suggests it packs some surprising health benefits
By Mark Bloom
HealthDay Reporter
SUNDAY, Dec. 26 (HealthDay News) -- Chocolate. It's on everyone's wish list. And for good reason.
There's something about chocolate, something beyond tactile taste that is indefinable, ineffable and inexpressible.
And as the medical reviews keep coming in, there's evidence that chocolate may meet a variety of needs, from the libido to the heart.
The most recent finding has an Italian researcher saying he has found an association between eating chocolate and sexual fulfillment. Women who love chocolate, he says, seem to have better love lives. And that comes on top of earlier research that chocolate -- at least dark chocolate -- may be good for your heart.
Chocolate seems to straddle the line between a food and a beneficial medicine. Even the conventional wisdom that chocolate is related to acne has been challenged. Its chemical properties are complicated. Chocolate contains more than 300 substances, including caffeine in small quantities, and theobromine, a weaker stimulant. Some contend that these two chemicals form the basis of the much-touted chocolate high, postulating that they increase activity of key neurotransmitters. The stimulant phenylethylamine, which is related chemically to amphetamines, is also in chocolate.
Chocolate seems to make the mood more fulfilling, said Dr. Andrea Salonia, an Italian researcher, who was to report on the link he found between satisfying sex and chocolate at the annual meeting of the European Society for Sexual Medicine in December in London.
Salonia's group at the San Raffaele Hospital in Milan had 153 women fill out standard female sexual function questionnaires, among other lifestyle and psychological indices. The women were between 26 and 44 years old, with a median age of 35. It turned out that 120 women, average age 35, reported they ate chocolate frequently, compared with 33 women whose average age was 40.4.
Both overall sexual function and sexual desire were significantly greater among the chocolate-eaters than among those in the older group who were more likely to spurn chocolate, said Salonia.
Calling it "an intriguing correlation," Salonia indicated nevertheless that dalliance between chocolate and sex was far from a sure thing. "It seems alluring to hypothesize that chocolate can have a physiological positive impact over women's sexuality." But he added that the age difference, an important factor in sexuality, was also significant between the groups.
The Italian study merely adds a new chapter to the history of chocolate. It's loaded with myths and legends and unsubstantiated claims. One of those myths is that chocolate can contribute to acne, according to two seminal studies. The National Institutes of Health now states that "despite the popular belief that chocolate, nuts and other foods cause acne, this does not seem to be true."
In one of the studies, at the University of Pennsylvania, a group of acne patients was given a bar of "chocolate" liquor (the substance that's the base for all chocolate products) resembling a chocolate bar and had 28 percent vegetable fat to imitate the fat content of chocolate liquor and cocoa butter. Another group got real chocolate in a test bar with almost 10 times as much chocolate liquor as a normal 1.4 ounce bar. The acne neither improved nor worsened with chocolate or placebo.
In the other study, 80 midshipmen with acne at the U.S. Naval Academy were divided into chocolate abstainers and chocolate-eaters. After a month, careful observation showed no changes in their acne.
Finally, a recent small clinical study of the effects of the substance in rich dark chocolate known as flavonoids has been shown to improve indicators of a healthy heart, seen both by ultrasound measurements and blood levels. Other researchers have pointed to high levels of chemicals in chocolate known as phenolics, also found in red wine, as antioxidants that might help prevent coronary heart disease.
More information
For more on chocolate and its history, visit Exploratorium Magazine (www.exploratorium.edu target=new).
Copyright © 2004 ScoutNews, LLC. All rights reserved.
Research suggests it packs some surprising health benefits
By Mark Bloom
HealthDay Reporter
SUNDAY, Dec. 26 (HealthDay News) -- Chocolate. It's on everyone's wish list. And for good reason.
There's something about chocolate, something beyond tactile taste that is indefinable, ineffable and inexpressible.
And as the medical reviews keep coming in, there's evidence that chocolate may meet a variety of needs, from the libido to the heart.
The most recent finding has an Italian researcher saying he has found an association between eating chocolate and sexual fulfillment. Women who love chocolate, he says, seem to have better love lives. And that comes on top of earlier research that chocolate -- at least dark chocolate -- may be good for your heart.
Chocolate seems to straddle the line between a food and a beneficial medicine. Even the conventional wisdom that chocolate is related to acne has been challenged. Its chemical properties are complicated. Chocolate contains more than 300 substances, including caffeine in small quantities, and theobromine, a weaker stimulant. Some contend that these two chemicals form the basis of the much-touted chocolate high, postulating that they increase activity of key neurotransmitters. The stimulant phenylethylamine, which is related chemically to amphetamines, is also in chocolate.
Chocolate seems to make the mood more fulfilling, said Dr. Andrea Salonia, an Italian researcher, who was to report on the link he found between satisfying sex and chocolate at the annual meeting of the European Society for Sexual Medicine in December in London.
Salonia's group at the San Raffaele Hospital in Milan had 153 women fill out standard female sexual function questionnaires, among other lifestyle and psychological indices. The women were between 26 and 44 years old, with a median age of 35. It turned out that 120 women, average age 35, reported they ate chocolate frequently, compared with 33 women whose average age was 40.4.
Both overall sexual function and sexual desire were significantly greater among the chocolate-eaters than among those in the older group who were more likely to spurn chocolate, said Salonia.
Calling it "an intriguing correlation," Salonia indicated nevertheless that dalliance between chocolate and sex was far from a sure thing. "It seems alluring to hypothesize that chocolate can have a physiological positive impact over women's sexuality." But he added that the age difference, an important factor in sexuality, was also significant between the groups.
The Italian study merely adds a new chapter to the history of chocolate. It's loaded with myths and legends and unsubstantiated claims. One of those myths is that chocolate can contribute to acne, according to two seminal studies. The National Institutes of Health now states that "despite the popular belief that chocolate, nuts and other foods cause acne, this does not seem to be true."
In one of the studies, at the University of Pennsylvania, a group of acne patients was given a bar of "chocolate" liquor (the substance that's the base for all chocolate products) resembling a chocolate bar and had 28 percent vegetable fat to imitate the fat content of chocolate liquor and cocoa butter. Another group got real chocolate in a test bar with almost 10 times as much chocolate liquor as a normal 1.4 ounce bar. The acne neither improved nor worsened with chocolate or placebo.
In the other study, 80 midshipmen with acne at the U.S. Naval Academy were divided into chocolate abstainers and chocolate-eaters. After a month, careful observation showed no changes in their acne.
Finally, a recent small clinical study of the effects of the substance in rich dark chocolate known as flavonoids has been shown to improve indicators of a healthy heart, seen both by ultrasound measurements and blood levels. Other researchers have pointed to high levels of chemicals in chocolate known as phenolics, also found in red wine, as antioxidants that might help prevent coronary heart disease.
More information
For more on chocolate and its history, visit Exploratorium Magazine (www.exploratorium.edu target=new).
Copyright © 2004 ScoutNews, LLC. All rights reserved.
Baker's Sin
I had a sinful lunch with Va Va Voom at Bakerzin, which is located on the ground floor of Bangsar Village.
This was my first visit to Bakerzin - I must say apart from the cafe's tasteful decor and pleasant ambience, the cuisines are something to shout about. We had initially wanted to have just dessert lunch, but ended up having a full course!
I had Mussel Linguini, Rose Tea and Couer Noit, while Va Va Voom had Spanish Sardines Sandwich, Sumatran Chocolate and her compulsory dose of caffeine. They are superb!
The desserts are to die for. As Va Va Voom puts it in her own words: "Oooh...this is better than orgasm!" to which I was quick to whip, "Really? I thought you said you're a virgin?" and she blushed a little. Gotcha! Well, of course, she meant the phrase methaporically. I was just teasing her. Hehehe :)
Nonetheless, with food this superb, it is orgasmic, even for virgins! Baker's Sin, not Bakerzin, really.
This was my first visit to Bakerzin - I must say apart from the cafe's tasteful decor and pleasant ambience, the cuisines are something to shout about. We had initially wanted to have just dessert lunch, but ended up having a full course!
I had Mussel Linguini, Rose Tea and Couer Noit, while Va Va Voom had Spanish Sardines Sandwich, Sumatran Chocolate and her compulsory dose of caffeine. They are superb!
The desserts are to die for. As Va Va Voom puts it in her own words: "Oooh...this is better than orgasm!" to which I was quick to whip, "Really? I thought you said you're a virgin?" and she blushed a little. Gotcha! Well, of course, she meant the phrase methaporically. I was just teasing her. Hehehe :)
Nonetheless, with food this superb, it is orgasmic, even for virgins! Baker's Sin, not Bakerzin, really.
Wednesday, December 22, 2004
Kata-Kata Pujangga
Graveyard Shift sent me some inspiring thots this morning:
Kata-Kata Pujangga
Jika kamu memancing ikan, setelah ikan itu terlekat di mata kail, hendaklah kamu mengambil ikan itu. Janganlah sesekali kamu LEPASKAN ia semula ke dalam air begitu saja, kerana ia akan SAKIT oleh kerana bisanya ketajaman mata kailmu itu dan mungkin ia akan MENDERITA selagi ia masih hidup.
Begitulah juga, setelah kamu memberi HARAPAN kepada seseorang, Setelah dia mulai MENYAYANGIMU hendaklah kamu MENJAGA hatinya. Janganlah sesekali kamu meninggalkannya begitu saja, kerana dia akan TERLUKA oleh kenangan bersamamu dan mungkin TIDAK dapat MELUPAKAN segalanya selagi dia mengingatimu.
Jika kamu menadah air biarlah berpada, Jangan terlalu mengharap pada takungannya dan janganlah menganggap ia begitu teguh, cukuplah sekadar keperluanmu. Apabila sekali ia retak, tentu sukar untuk kamu menambahnya semula. Akhirnya ia dibuang. Sedangkan jika kamu cuba memperbaikinya mungkin ia masih dapat dipergunakan lagi.
Begitu juga jika kamu memiliki seseorang, TERIMALAH seadanya. Janganlah kamu terlalu mengaguminya dan janganlah kamu menganggapnya begitu istimewa, anggaplah dia manusia biasa. Apabila sekali dia melakukan KESILAPAN bukan mudah bagi kamu untuk menerimanya, akhirnya kamu KECEWA dan meninggalkannya. Sedangkan jika kamu MEMAAFKANNYA boleh jadi hubungan kamu akan TERUS hingga keakhirnya.
Jika kamu telah memiliki sepinggan nasi, yang kamu pasti baik untuk dirimu. Mengenyangkan. Berkhasiat. Mengapa kamu masih cuba mencari makanan yang lain. Terlalu ingin mengejar kelazatan. Kelak, nasi itu akan basi dan kamu tidak boleh memakannya. Kamu akan menyesal.
Begitu juga jika kamu telah bertemu dengan seorang insan, yang pasti membawa
KEBAIKAN kepada dirimu. Menyayangimu. Mengasihimu. Mengapa kamu masih cuba MEMBANDINGKANNYA dengan yang lain. Terlalu mengejar kesempurnaan. Kelak, kamu akan KEHILANGANNYA apabila dia menjadi milik orang lain Kamu juga yang akan MENYESAL.
"Wanita itu dijadikan dari tulang rusuk kiri lelaki... bukan dekat kepala untuk dijunjung, bukan juga dekat kaki untuk dijadikan alas, tapi dekat dilengan untuk DILINDUNGI dan dekat dihati untuk DISAYANGI"
Very deep thots indeed! My heart goes out to jilted bride Norlida Abdul Rahman whose jerk of a groom, Hasmawi Hassan, Kedah state football player, left her at the altar. I read today in the papers that she is suing him. Good for her, I'm all behind her. I hope an irresponsible, cruel, cold hearted, unscrupulous man like him gets slapped left and right.
Kata-Kata Pujangga
Jika kamu memancing ikan, setelah ikan itu terlekat di mata kail, hendaklah kamu mengambil ikan itu. Janganlah sesekali kamu LEPASKAN ia semula ke dalam air begitu saja, kerana ia akan SAKIT oleh kerana bisanya ketajaman mata kailmu itu dan mungkin ia akan MENDERITA selagi ia masih hidup.
Begitulah juga, setelah kamu memberi HARAPAN kepada seseorang, Setelah dia mulai MENYAYANGIMU hendaklah kamu MENJAGA hatinya. Janganlah sesekali kamu meninggalkannya begitu saja, kerana dia akan TERLUKA oleh kenangan bersamamu dan mungkin TIDAK dapat MELUPAKAN segalanya selagi dia mengingatimu.
Jika kamu menadah air biarlah berpada, Jangan terlalu mengharap pada takungannya dan janganlah menganggap ia begitu teguh, cukuplah sekadar keperluanmu. Apabila sekali ia retak, tentu sukar untuk kamu menambahnya semula. Akhirnya ia dibuang. Sedangkan jika kamu cuba memperbaikinya mungkin ia masih dapat dipergunakan lagi.
Begitu juga jika kamu memiliki seseorang, TERIMALAH seadanya. Janganlah kamu terlalu mengaguminya dan janganlah kamu menganggapnya begitu istimewa, anggaplah dia manusia biasa. Apabila sekali dia melakukan KESILAPAN bukan mudah bagi kamu untuk menerimanya, akhirnya kamu KECEWA dan meninggalkannya. Sedangkan jika kamu MEMAAFKANNYA boleh jadi hubungan kamu akan TERUS hingga keakhirnya.
Jika kamu telah memiliki sepinggan nasi, yang kamu pasti baik untuk dirimu. Mengenyangkan. Berkhasiat. Mengapa kamu masih cuba mencari makanan yang lain. Terlalu ingin mengejar kelazatan. Kelak, nasi itu akan basi dan kamu tidak boleh memakannya. Kamu akan menyesal.
Begitu juga jika kamu telah bertemu dengan seorang insan, yang pasti membawa
KEBAIKAN kepada dirimu. Menyayangimu. Mengasihimu. Mengapa kamu masih cuba MEMBANDINGKANNYA dengan yang lain. Terlalu mengejar kesempurnaan. Kelak, kamu akan KEHILANGANNYA apabila dia menjadi milik orang lain Kamu juga yang akan MENYESAL.
"Wanita itu dijadikan dari tulang rusuk kiri lelaki... bukan dekat kepala untuk dijunjung, bukan juga dekat kaki untuk dijadikan alas, tapi dekat dilengan untuk DILINDUNGI dan dekat dihati untuk DISAYANGI"
Very deep thots indeed! My heart goes out to jilted bride Norlida Abdul Rahman whose jerk of a groom, Hasmawi Hassan, Kedah state football player, left her at the altar. I read today in the papers that she is suing him. Good for her, I'm all behind her. I hope an irresponsible, cruel, cold hearted, unscrupulous man like him gets slapped left and right.
Monday, December 20, 2004
Happy New Year!
Folks, we're ten days away from 2005! Have you started on your Resolutions 2005 yet?
For 2005, I've scraped Mr. Right off my resolutions list - I think I've been through enough to decide what I don't want a man for some time. Prince Charming can actually be The Beast in disguise, and vice versa. Just reading in the newspaper this morning about the cowardly state football player groom who left his bride Norlida Abdul Rahman at the altar, gave a feeling of deja vu. But, at least in my case, I got an e-mail to explain the sms. But still! I guess The Gentlemen is a dying breed nowadays. God doesn't make them anymore...
There is no such thing as Mr. Right. You can only try to meet someone who makes you feel right, and being with him is the right thing to do - and everything just fit and fall into its place - and the universe conspires to make things right. That, currently, it's Mission Improbable, although not Mission Impossible. So I'll just focus on achieving whatever I want to achieve in life.
I discover that I can be equally happy with or without a partner. Hehehe...I will JUST BE!
Next year, on top of reducing my weight by 10% (it's a constantly challenging uphill battle, even more so as you go downhill), I'll improve on my speed by 50%, as well as my overall reliability and punctuality to 1,000 DPMO (defects per million opportunity, that's 0.1% and being human, I can't be anymore defectless than this!).
So, for a good early start, here's an early Happy New Year wish from me!
Personally, 2004 hasn't been a fantastic year for me, but an adventurous one, nevertheless, with some misadventures too. But hey, they say tough times don't last, tough people do! But having said that, I don't think we should look at our mistakes negatively.
We should look at our mistakes creatively and learn from it like an art - for creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes, while art is knowing which ones to keep.
Coming out of 2004, I've learned many valuable lessons from my mistakes and experiences that have made me a little wiser and tougher than before. I hope!
Nonetheless, what is more important is that we become a better person by learning from our mistakes and experiences - and sharpen our learning curve with every year that we live. Nothing is constant in life, except for change - so we got to keep on moving.
Another thing I have learned is that it is important not just to LIVE and make a LIVING, but to BE ALIVE and to make a LIFE - that is, living a good life that's worth every breath that you take. Quoting Sir Winston Churchill: "We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give."
On that note, I'm looking forward to 2005 and hope it would be a super fantastic year of greater achievements in life.
Hope our learning curve gets sharper in 2005!
HAPPY NEW YEAR 2005!
Cheers!
Naliza, Liza and Nel
No, I haven't acquired multiple personalities - I just have more than one term of endearment.
For 2005, I've scraped Mr. Right off my resolutions list - I think I've been through enough to decide what I don't want a man for some time. Prince Charming can actually be The Beast in disguise, and vice versa. Just reading in the newspaper this morning about the cowardly state football player groom who left his bride Norlida Abdul Rahman at the altar, gave a feeling of deja vu. But, at least in my case, I got an e-mail to explain the sms. But still! I guess The Gentlemen is a dying breed nowadays. God doesn't make them anymore...
There is no such thing as Mr. Right. You can only try to meet someone who makes you feel right, and being with him is the right thing to do - and everything just fit and fall into its place - and the universe conspires to make things right. That, currently, it's Mission Improbable, although not Mission Impossible. So I'll just focus on achieving whatever I want to achieve in life.
I discover that I can be equally happy with or without a partner. Hehehe...I will JUST BE!
Next year, on top of reducing my weight by 10% (it's a constantly challenging uphill battle, even more so as you go downhill), I'll improve on my speed by 50%, as well as my overall reliability and punctuality to 1,000 DPMO (defects per million opportunity, that's 0.1% and being human, I can't be anymore defectless than this!).
So, for a good early start, here's an early Happy New Year wish from me!
Personally, 2004 hasn't been a fantastic year for me, but an adventurous one, nevertheless, with some misadventures too. But hey, they say tough times don't last, tough people do! But having said that, I don't think we should look at our mistakes negatively.
We should look at our mistakes creatively and learn from it like an art - for creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes, while art is knowing which ones to keep.
Coming out of 2004, I've learned many valuable lessons from my mistakes and experiences that have made me a little wiser and tougher than before. I hope!
Nonetheless, what is more important is that we become a better person by learning from our mistakes and experiences - and sharpen our learning curve with every year that we live. Nothing is constant in life, except for change - so we got to keep on moving.
Another thing I have learned is that it is important not just to LIVE and make a LIVING, but to BE ALIVE and to make a LIFE - that is, living a good life that's worth every breath that you take. Quoting Sir Winston Churchill: "We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give."
On that note, I'm looking forward to 2005 and hope it would be a super fantastic year of greater achievements in life.
Hope our learning curve gets sharper in 2005!
HAPPY NEW YEAR 2005!
Cheers!
Naliza, Liza and Nel
No, I haven't acquired multiple personalities - I just have more than one term of endearment.
Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder
Do you know that there is such thing as "A. A. A. D. D." - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder? .
This is how it manifests:
You decide to wash the car. As you start toward the garage, you notice that there is mail on the hall table. You decide to go through the mail before you wash the car. You lay the car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the trash can under the table, and notice that the trash can is full. So, you decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the trash first.
But then you think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the trash anyway, I may as well pay the bills first. You take the checkbook off the table, and see that there is only one check left. The extra checks are in the desk in the study, so you go to the desk where you find the can of Coke that you had been drinking. You're going to look for the checks, but first you need to push the Coke aside so that you don't accidentally knock it over. You see that the Coke is getting
warm, and you decide you should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.
As you head toward the kitchen with the coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches your eye--they need to be watered. You set the Coke down on the counter, and discover the reading glasses that you've been searching for all morning. You decide you better put them back on the desk, but first you're going to water the flowers. You set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table. You realize that
tonight when you go to watch TV, you'll be looking for the remote, but you won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so you decide to put it back where it belongs, but first you'll water the flowers.
You splash some water on the flowers, but most of it spills on the floor. So, you set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill. Then you head down the hall trying to remember what you were planning to do.
At the end of the day: the car isn't washed, the bills aren't paid, there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter, the flowers aren't watered, there is still only one check in the checkbook, you can't find the remote, you can't find your glasses, and you don't remember what you did with the car keys. Then when you try to figure out why nothing got done all day, you'll really be baffled because you know you were busy all day long, and you're really tired. Then you'll realize this is a serious problem, and you'll try to get some help for it, but first you'll check your e-mail.
Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!
GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY.
GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL
LAUGHING AT YOURSELF IS THERAPEUTIC
This is how it manifests:
You decide to wash the car. As you start toward the garage, you notice that there is mail on the hall table. You decide to go through the mail before you wash the car. You lay the car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the trash can under the table, and notice that the trash can is full. So, you decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the trash first.
But then you think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the trash anyway, I may as well pay the bills first. You take the checkbook off the table, and see that there is only one check left. The extra checks are in the desk in the study, so you go to the desk where you find the can of Coke that you had been drinking. You're going to look for the checks, but first you need to push the Coke aside so that you don't accidentally knock it over. You see that the Coke is getting
warm, and you decide you should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.
As you head toward the kitchen with the coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches your eye--they need to be watered. You set the Coke down on the counter, and discover the reading glasses that you've been searching for all morning. You decide you better put them back on the desk, but first you're going to water the flowers. You set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table. You realize that
tonight when you go to watch TV, you'll be looking for the remote, but you won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so you decide to put it back where it belongs, but first you'll water the flowers.
You splash some water on the flowers, but most of it spills on the floor. So, you set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill. Then you head down the hall trying to remember what you were planning to do.
At the end of the day: the car isn't washed, the bills aren't paid, there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter, the flowers aren't watered, there is still only one check in the checkbook, you can't find the remote, you can't find your glasses, and you don't remember what you did with the car keys. Then when you try to figure out why nothing got done all day, you'll really be baffled because you know you were busy all day long, and you're really tired. Then you'll realize this is a serious problem, and you'll try to get some help for it, but first you'll check your e-mail.
Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!
GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY.
GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL
LAUGHING AT YOURSELF IS THERAPEUTIC
Saturday, December 18, 2004
Learning curve
I just to share with you an interesting blog post I came across from another blog that I found while browsing today. It is also called "Random Thots", coincidentally. What can I say, great minds think alike. Hehehe...
Learning Curve
There was this old saying that goes "You should learn from your mistake".
We always learn new stuff every minute of the day. We always make mistakes. Sometimes we learn from our mistakes and look for another solution for the problem. Sometimes we try and try the same solution, despite failing everytime we try it until it finally work.
The solution might not work the first time but after a few times it might work. If that is the case, when do we stop trying and move on to solve the next problem? Had Edison stopped and move on to the next solution, the invention of the light bulb would be years away.
Now things gets more complicated in relationships. Each person we go out with have a different personality. What would be a probable solution to the previous relationship might be a total failure to the current relationship.
I guess in life we are bound to make mistakes anyway... wether we learn anything from our mistakes or not is a different thing afterall. We have to chart our own learning curve be it linear or exponential.
Learning Curve
There was this old saying that goes "You should learn from your mistake".
We always learn new stuff every minute of the day. We always make mistakes. Sometimes we learn from our mistakes and look for another solution for the problem. Sometimes we try and try the same solution, despite failing everytime we try it until it finally work.
The solution might not work the first time but after a few times it might work. If that is the case, when do we stop trying and move on to solve the next problem? Had Edison stopped and move on to the next solution, the invention of the light bulb would be years away.
Now things gets more complicated in relationships. Each person we go out with have a different personality. What would be a probable solution to the previous relationship might be a total failure to the current relationship.
I guess in life we are bound to make mistakes anyway... wether we learn anything from our mistakes or not is a different thing afterall. We have to chart our own learning curve be it linear or exponential.
Friday, December 17, 2004
Well-being of women
Deep Blue Sea sent me an interesting article today about the relationship between women and their jobs, and how crucial it is to her well-being. I've been a workaholic until lately, so I thought that is just a natural phenomenon for both men and women alike.
Well-being of women rests on job satisfaction
Being happy in a job is more important to women than having a good salary or their marital status, according to an assessment of well-being by a Nobel Prize winner, Prof Daniel Kahneman. Women in the study rated different activities creating an "enjoyment" scale. Top was relaxing with friends. Commuting alone came bottom of the list, as did being with the boss, said Prof Kahneman.
I've been feeling not well lately - and I get easily bored nowadays. Perhaps, it is for lack of job satisfaction? Symptoms are showing, so I must find the root cause and make things right again. I agree that relaxing with friends would make me happiest. Human beings especially females are social creatures. Me included.
Well-being of women rests on job satisfaction
Being happy in a job is more important to women than having a good salary or their marital status, according to an assessment of well-being by a Nobel Prize winner, Prof Daniel Kahneman. Women in the study rated different activities creating an "enjoyment" scale. Top was relaxing with friends. Commuting alone came bottom of the list, as did being with the boss, said Prof Kahneman.
I've been feeling not well lately - and I get easily bored nowadays. Perhaps, it is for lack of job satisfaction? Symptoms are showing, so I must find the root cause and make things right again. I agree that relaxing with friends would make me happiest. Human beings especially females are social creatures. Me included.
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
Last Words
I am amused to no end with Va Va Voom's parrot-like habit of always wanting to have the last word whenever we talked. Her fondness of having the last words ended in a classic sms battle with someone's girlfriend over this jerk of a boneless guy.
I'm inclined to call her Echo, The Goddess of Last Words, much to her protest today. Alright, Va Va Voom shall not be Echo - I'll spare her because she is my mentee. And I also made her promise to try not to always want to have the last words with me or sum up whatever I said, or I shall have to call her parrot. I know, I know, I can be mean sometimes, but hey, a gal has a right to speak her mind and be honest to a friend, right?
But nevertheless, I thought I'd share with you the interesting story of Echo:
Echo and Narcissus in Greek Mythology
Echo was a beautiful nymph, fond of the woods and hills, where she devoted herself to woodland sports. She was a favorite of Artemis, and attended her in the chase. But Echo had one failing; she was fond of talking, and whether in chat or argument, would have the last word. One day Hera was seeking her husband, who, she had reason to fear, was amusing himself among the nymphs. Echo by her talk contrived to detain the goddess till the nymphs made their escape. When Hera discovered it, she passed sentence upon Echo in these words: "You shall forfeit the use of that tongue with which you have cheated me, except for that one purpose you are so fond of - reply. You shall still have the last word, but no power to speak first."
This nymph saw Narcissus, a beautiful youth, as he pursued the chase upon the mountains. She loved him and followed his footsteps. O how she longed to address him in the softest accents, and win him to converse! But it was not in her power. She waited with impatience for him to speak first, and had her answer ready. One day the youth, being separated from his companions, shouted aloud, "Who's here?" Echo replied, "Here." Narcissus looked around, but seeing no one called out, "Come". Echo answered, "Come." As no one came, Narcissus called again, "Why do you shun me?" Echo, asked the same question. "Let us join one another," said the youth. The maid answered with all her heart in the same words, and hastened to the spot, ready to throw her arms about his neck. He started back, exclaiming, "Hands off! I would rather die than you should have me!" "Have me," said she; but it was all in vain.
He left her, and she went to hide her blushes in the recesses of the woods. From that time forth she lived in caves till at last all her flesh shrank away. Her bones were changed into rocks and there was nothing left of her but her voice. With that she is still ready to reply to any one who calls her, and keeps up her old habit of having the last word.
I'm inclined to call her Echo, The Goddess of Last Words, much to her protest today. Alright, Va Va Voom shall not be Echo - I'll spare her because she is my mentee. And I also made her promise to try not to always want to have the last words with me or sum up whatever I said, or I shall have to call her parrot. I know, I know, I can be mean sometimes, but hey, a gal has a right to speak her mind and be honest to a friend, right?
But nevertheless, I thought I'd share with you the interesting story of Echo:
Echo and Narcissus in Greek Mythology
Echo was a beautiful nymph, fond of the woods and hills, where she devoted herself to woodland sports. She was a favorite of Artemis, and attended her in the chase. But Echo had one failing; she was fond of talking, and whether in chat or argument, would have the last word. One day Hera was seeking her husband, who, she had reason to fear, was amusing himself among the nymphs. Echo by her talk contrived to detain the goddess till the nymphs made their escape. When Hera discovered it, she passed sentence upon Echo in these words: "You shall forfeit the use of that tongue with which you have cheated me, except for that one purpose you are so fond of - reply. You shall still have the last word, but no power to speak first."
This nymph saw Narcissus, a beautiful youth, as he pursued the chase upon the mountains. She loved him and followed his footsteps. O how she longed to address him in the softest accents, and win him to converse! But it was not in her power. She waited with impatience for him to speak first, and had her answer ready. One day the youth, being separated from his companions, shouted aloud, "Who's here?" Echo replied, "Here." Narcissus looked around, but seeing no one called out, "Come". Echo answered, "Come." As no one came, Narcissus called again, "Why do you shun me?" Echo, asked the same question. "Let us join one another," said the youth. The maid answered with all her heart in the same words, and hastened to the spot, ready to throw her arms about his neck. He started back, exclaiming, "Hands off! I would rather die than you should have me!" "Have me," said she; but it was all in vain.
He left her, and she went to hide her blushes in the recesses of the woods. From that time forth she lived in caves till at last all her flesh shrank away. Her bones were changed into rocks and there was nothing left of her but her voice. With that she is still ready to reply to any one who calls her, and keeps up her old habit of having the last word.
Sunday, December 12, 2004
Girl Around Town
I was browsing http://ascensionmediacomms.blogspot.com and came across this which I thought is amusing:
====================================================================================
Guide To Find Your Type of Girl Around Town
Depends on what kind of chicks u r looking for:
1) Teenage chicks with lots of skin to bare who prefer to dance the whole night and would most likely have a Mat Motor boyfriend: Shadows (Bangsar)
2) Classier chicks with velvet gowns and can dance, not any dance, but Salsa : Q-Ba at Westin Hotel (Bintang Walk)
3) International school chicks (white chicks/jap-chicks/exotic looking chicks) who love to drink : Mezza (formerly T-Club Bangsar)
4) Working chicks who are looking for love : Bar Flam (Bangsar) Hehehe...reminds me of Madam Fuss-Over, because this is her favorite hangout joint!
5) 'God-fearing' chicks who play carrom from Bangsar Gospel Centre : Coffee Bean / Star Bucks i.e. any coffee place in town whose average price is around RM10 for a cuppa (this weeds out all the coffee shops in Lucky Gardens) (Bangsar) Somehow, my mind goes right to Deep Blue Sea and Madam Whiteflower...
6) Hard-core biker chicks or the opposite.. Tudung chicks : mamak stalls in front of the food court previously known as Jolly Green Giant (Bangsar)
7) Chicks who are dating guys who are already married / guys who wanna be girls : Red Chamber (Bangsar) Damn! I like this place...hmmm...but hey I don't do married men
8) Malaysian girls who speak with a British/American/Aussie/Rojak accent who think they are BBC/BBI/BBM(u know wat I mean) and are looking for a boyfriend who has blonde hair and drinks 'Snake Bite Black': Finnegans (Bangsar)
9) Malaysian girls who speak with a British/American/Aussie/Rojak accent who think they are BBC/BBI/BBM who have already found a boyfriend from Finnegans : Telawi Street Bistro (Bangsar)
10) Girls who look like boys who like girls who look like girls: Seasons Pool Club (Bangsar) I don't think I want to ever be caught dead here!
11) Paula Malai Ali type of chicks: The Social (Bangsar)
12) White chicks with white boyfriends/husbands (who also have tan-skinned girlfriends from Beach Club/Thai Bar etc.) : La Bodega (Bangsar)
13) Chicks that have rich boyfriends and like expensive red wines: Grappa / Wine Bar Heritage Row I like the Heritage Row...but hahahaha..where's my rich boyfriend?
14) Chicks that have poor boyfriends and want a taste of western food : McDonald's / Burger King Bangsar
15) Party chicks that think they're so happening they don't mind sweating in a firetrap for 4 hours: Passion This reminds me of Va Va Voom :)
16) Hip-hop chickas who know someone who knows someone who's having a pissup/birthday party and they can avoid cover charge: Nouvo / Sangria
17) Pill-popping chicks and they're drug-induced boyfriends: Atmosphere / Carlos
18) Pill-popping chicks who don't want to go out with "playaz" but suddenly find themselves trying to grab the attention of the "playaz": Bliss
19) Feng Tau chicks : not sure but we think its the old Emporium or K Club
20) Capati chicks who are already betrothed to some distant cousin on their father's orders : Dhol, Bangsar.
21) Beautiful popping chicks with very little clothing & supposedly gangsters boyfriends : TBR KL
22) Beautiful model chicks or wannabes with cheeky friends in tow who can hold their drinks : Velvet
Contributed: Zaira, Kartina, Ziber
Re-edited: Jd
====================================================================================
Guide To Find Your Type of Girl Around Town
Depends on what kind of chicks u r looking for:
1) Teenage chicks with lots of skin to bare who prefer to dance the whole night and would most likely have a Mat Motor boyfriend: Shadows (Bangsar)
2) Classier chicks with velvet gowns and can dance, not any dance, but Salsa : Q-Ba at Westin Hotel (Bintang Walk)
3) International school chicks (white chicks/jap-chicks/exotic looking chicks) who love to drink : Mezza (formerly T-Club Bangsar)
4) Working chicks who are looking for love : Bar Flam (Bangsar) Hehehe...reminds me of Madam Fuss-Over, because this is her favorite hangout joint!
5) 'God-fearing' chicks who play carrom from Bangsar Gospel Centre : Coffee Bean / Star Bucks i.e. any coffee place in town whose average price is around RM10 for a cuppa (this weeds out all the coffee shops in Lucky Gardens) (Bangsar) Somehow, my mind goes right to Deep Blue Sea and Madam Whiteflower...
6) Hard-core biker chicks or the opposite.. Tudung chicks : mamak stalls in front of the food court previously known as Jolly Green Giant (Bangsar)
7) Chicks who are dating guys who are already married / guys who wanna be girls : Red Chamber (Bangsar) Damn! I like this place...hmmm...but hey I don't do married men
8) Malaysian girls who speak with a British/American/Aussie/Rojak accent who think they are BBC/BBI/BBM(u know wat I mean) and are looking for a boyfriend who has blonde hair and drinks 'Snake Bite Black': Finnegans (Bangsar)
9) Malaysian girls who speak with a British/American/Aussie/Rojak accent who think they are BBC/BBI/BBM who have already found a boyfriend from Finnegans : Telawi Street Bistro (Bangsar)
10) Girls who look like boys who like girls who look like girls: Seasons Pool Club (Bangsar) I don't think I want to ever be caught dead here!
11) Paula Malai Ali type of chicks: The Social (Bangsar)
12) White chicks with white boyfriends/husbands (who also have tan-skinned girlfriends from Beach Club/Thai Bar etc.) : La Bodega (Bangsar)
13) Chicks that have rich boyfriends and like expensive red wines: Grappa / Wine Bar Heritage Row I like the Heritage Row...but hahahaha..where's my rich boyfriend?
14) Chicks that have poor boyfriends and want a taste of western food : McDonald's / Burger King Bangsar
15) Party chicks that think they're so happening they don't mind sweating in a firetrap for 4 hours: Passion This reminds me of Va Va Voom :)
16) Hip-hop chickas who know someone who knows someone who's having a pissup/birthday party and they can avoid cover charge: Nouvo / Sangria
17) Pill-popping chicks and they're drug-induced boyfriends: Atmosphere / Carlos
18) Pill-popping chicks who don't want to go out with "playaz" but suddenly find themselves trying to grab the attention of the "playaz": Bliss
19) Feng Tau chicks : not sure but we think its the old Emporium or K Club
20) Capati chicks who are already betrothed to some distant cousin on their father's orders : Dhol, Bangsar.
21) Beautiful popping chicks with very little clothing & supposedly gangsters boyfriends : TBR KL
22) Beautiful model chicks or wannabes with cheeky friends in tow who can hold their drinks : Velvet
Contributed: Zaira, Kartina, Ziber
Re-edited: Jd
Sesame Street Live!
Right after My-Kart Race yesterday, I literally sped off to Stadium Putra, Bukit Jalil to accompany orphans and media friends to watch Sesame Street Live! The famous Muppets take center stage in the vibrant production, 'Everyone Makes Music' - 90 minutes of colorful costumes, lavish sets, slick choreography and a whole lotta musical fun.
Education time for me, because I don't know much about Sesame Street, except for some key characters like Big Bird, Cookie Monster, Elmo and Oscar the Grouch. Yesterday, I met the rest of the famous Muppets - Zoe, Rosita, Count von Count and Grover. Of course, Jenny, the music instructor who has just moved into Sesame Street.
The friendly furry gang welcomed her with open arms and experiment with different ways of making music as they await the arrival of the truck carrying Jenny's instruments.
Sesame Street Live
Education time for me, because I don't know much about Sesame Street, except for some key characters like Big Bird, Cookie Monster, Elmo and Oscar the Grouch. Yesterday, I met the rest of the famous Muppets - Zoe, Rosita, Count von Count and Grover. Of course, Jenny, the music instructor who has just moved into Sesame Street.
The friendly furry gang welcomed her with open arms and experiment with different ways of making music as they await the arrival of the truck carrying Jenny's instruments.
Sesame Street Live
Saturday, December 11, 2004
Vrrrooom!
After some months missing out on Karting Amateurs Racing Team (KART)or My-Kart Team, activities, I decided to take to the track again. My adrenaline running high, I was already at CityKarting Shah Alam Circuit before 8 o'clock in the morning. Most of the Karters were already there.
Each category (K2 and K3) were split into two groups each resulting in four groups altogether. They ran two heats for each group.
Kart numbers were drawn before the first qualifying heats and assigned to the grid positions for both groups and qualifying heats in the category. Drivers are pre-assigned grid positions based on current 2004 seeding or registration order. The driver grid orders were then reversed in the second qualifying heat based on the grid positions (not finishing positions) in the first qualifying heat.
There were 10 racers in K3 Category (80cc) Group B. I finished eighth in the first and second heat, and improved to the seventh position in the final. In the first heat, I spun and lost a lap. In the second heat, I almost ran into a spun kart but I managed to swerve in time. But that lost me precious seconds. In the final, I didn't spin at all and I was more comfortable with the racing line.
I was estatic during the final because I have understood the racing line which my brother was explaining to me - and I understand it perfectly too, crystal clear. So much so that I karted with so much ease than I've ever done in a year that I've been karting. Maybe you have to be away for a while and return with a fresh perspective when you don't understand something.
Anyways, in the final positions for the two K3 groups combined, among 21 racers, I finished 16th, Haslina finished 11th and Angeline finished last. There were only three ladies among My-Kart Team's K3 Category this time around. The first position was claimed by Kevin Tan, and flanked by A. Muhaymin and Nazim Mansor, as first and second runners-up, respectively.
I remained at Seed #51 out of 81 My-Karters. My resolution for next year is to move up to the top quartile, or at least Seed #20 by end of December.
I also discovered I have a strong contender at My-Kart Team - another lady driver, Haslina Ali who is a newcomer and unseeded. She finished sixth in the first and second heat, and finished eighth in the final.
I was leading the ladies department in My-Kart Team's K3 Category when My-Kart team started. After a long absence, Haslina has overtaken me by a mile. I'll have to sharpen my skills, apparently, and be at par or better. It's healthy to be competitive - it keeps you going. They say, even if you're the best, you get run over if you just sit there.
The other lady racer, Angeline Ling, was in K3 Category (80cc) Group A which has 11 racers. She finished last in the first heat, eighth in the second heat, and tenth in the final. She does have potential to be a good karter, but she spins out of track a lot and is not consistent in her performance.
I was fortunate to have Deanna Yusoff racing with My-Kart Team today. She easily beat two third of the guys in the K2 Category (100cc). This is my first time ever in meeting her up close and personal - let alone have a conversation with her. But she's really friendly - such a cool lady - and we had a conversation, mostly about racing, expectedly.
I swear the guys stopped breathing for at least 2 seconds when Deanna peeled off her track bottom, revealing her perfect long smooth legs in tight shorts, before she put on her racing suit.
Each category (K2 and K3) were split into two groups each resulting in four groups altogether. They ran two heats for each group.
Kart numbers were drawn before the first qualifying heats and assigned to the grid positions for both groups and qualifying heats in the category. Drivers are pre-assigned grid positions based on current 2004 seeding or registration order. The driver grid orders were then reversed in the second qualifying heat based on the grid positions (not finishing positions) in the first qualifying heat.
There were 10 racers in K3 Category (80cc) Group B. I finished eighth in the first and second heat, and improved to the seventh position in the final. In the first heat, I spun and lost a lap. In the second heat, I almost ran into a spun kart but I managed to swerve in time. But that lost me precious seconds. In the final, I didn't spin at all and I was more comfortable with the racing line.
I was estatic during the final because I have understood the racing line which my brother was explaining to me - and I understand it perfectly too, crystal clear. So much so that I karted with so much ease than I've ever done in a year that I've been karting. Maybe you have to be away for a while and return with a fresh perspective when you don't understand something.
Anyways, in the final positions for the two K3 groups combined, among 21 racers, I finished 16th, Haslina finished 11th and Angeline finished last. There were only three ladies among My-Kart Team's K3 Category this time around. The first position was claimed by Kevin Tan, and flanked by A. Muhaymin and Nazim Mansor, as first and second runners-up, respectively.
I remained at Seed #51 out of 81 My-Karters. My resolution for next year is to move up to the top quartile, or at least Seed #20 by end of December.
I also discovered I have a strong contender at My-Kart Team - another lady driver, Haslina Ali who is a newcomer and unseeded. She finished sixth in the first and second heat, and finished eighth in the final.
I was leading the ladies department in My-Kart Team's K3 Category when My-Kart team started. After a long absence, Haslina has overtaken me by a mile. I'll have to sharpen my skills, apparently, and be at par or better. It's healthy to be competitive - it keeps you going. They say, even if you're the best, you get run over if you just sit there.
The other lady racer, Angeline Ling, was in K3 Category (80cc) Group A which has 11 racers. She finished last in the first heat, eighth in the second heat, and tenth in the final. She does have potential to be a good karter, but she spins out of track a lot and is not consistent in her performance.
I was fortunate to have Deanna Yusoff racing with My-Kart Team today. She easily beat two third of the guys in the K2 Category (100cc). This is my first time ever in meeting her up close and personal - let alone have a conversation with her. But she's really friendly - such a cool lady - and we had a conversation, mostly about racing, expectedly.
I swear the guys stopped breathing for at least 2 seconds when Deanna peeled off her track bottom, revealing her perfect long smooth legs in tight shorts, before she put on her racing suit.
Thursday, December 09, 2004
Broken Wings
Yesterday evening, after we discussed Khalil Gibran's "Broken Wings" and the Lebanese poet's other "treasury" of literary works, The Thinking Man advised me, perhaps I should look out to the sky and fly, instead of taking comfort in mending my broken wings.
He suggested that I indicate to Mr. Crush Boom Bang that I like him more than just a friend. To give him subtle hints but strong enough for him to pick up, or if I dare, just ask him out for a date. Dare I?
I have to confess that I am now afraid to risk getting hurt again. The Ex-Hubby left me with broken wings which I am mending. (The Medicine Man is no great loss to me, but he hurts me badly nevertheless. So much so that I'm afraid that I'd end up with another one like him. Looks goody two shoes on the outside but on the inside, he's a psycho).
Today my horoscope says: "Things are likely to be coming to a dramatic climax for you when it comes to matters of love and romance. Perhaps there is a relationship you have been nurturing for quite a while. You have put a great deal of passion and soul into building a strong connection with one other person. This is a time of reckoning in which you feel like you are taking a step back, and realizing what you have gained from all of that. Do you have a partner for life, or do you have someone who doesn't quite appreciate you as much as you feel like they should?"
I will try give him subtle hints, and if that doesn't work, I may ask him out or I may just drop the idea if I think he is someone who doesn't quite appreciate me as much as Ifeel like he should.
He suggested that I indicate to Mr. Crush Boom Bang that I like him more than just a friend. To give him subtle hints but strong enough for him to pick up, or if I dare, just ask him out for a date. Dare I?
I have to confess that I am now afraid to risk getting hurt again. The Ex-Hubby left me with broken wings which I am mending. (The Medicine Man is no great loss to me, but he hurts me badly nevertheless. So much so that I'm afraid that I'd end up with another one like him. Looks goody two shoes on the outside but on the inside, he's a psycho).
Today my horoscope says: "Things are likely to be coming to a dramatic climax for you when it comes to matters of love and romance. Perhaps there is a relationship you have been nurturing for quite a while. You have put a great deal of passion and soul into building a strong connection with one other person. This is a time of reckoning in which you feel like you are taking a step back, and realizing what you have gained from all of that. Do you have a partner for life, or do you have someone who doesn't quite appreciate you as much as you feel like they should?"
I will try give him subtle hints, and if that doesn't work, I may ask him out or I may just drop the idea if I think he is someone who doesn't quite appreciate me as much as Ifeel like he should.
Monday, December 06, 2004
The Mutt, Catwoman & Deep Blue Sea
The Mutt , Catwoman and Deep Blue Sea made my day today - it's always a joy to get some feedback from other bloggers, and read their thoughts on my posts. Today they wrote amusing thoughts on my post on "Sari & Sins".
Nel: I wonder why men leaves their wives for such sluts and bitches. I don't understand - do men prefer bad girls to good girls? So why the hunt for "The Virtuous Woman", only to end up with a "Horny Slut" (money grabbing in 90% of the cases, too) after they get bored with "The Virtuous Woman".
The Mutt: Really, men are quite stupid, I'll admit it, because we always fall for the attractive/bitch package. But it never works out...
Nel: [Smiling] Because men thinks with one head at a time. Depends which one is doing the thinking.
Deep Blue Sea: Well..since I've seen her pic, I most honestly cannot say what he saw in her looks. Combined with what I am sure is a screechy voice and crass language (behaviour, I shudder to think; table manners....ouch!), I think he lost his head somewhere (between his legs?). Ummmph....and they say men are rational creatures. *eyes rolling*
Nel: Beats me...and I thought I married a smart man. I don't mean to be arrogant, you know I'm hardly that, but she is an insult to his intelligence. I can understand if beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but bad manners, is bad manners, period. There's no beauty in bad manners, and being crass. If beauty dwells deep within and is a mind over matter, then what the hell is the matter with his mind?
The Mutt: The bitch seems to be quite tenacious now, but I give her another month or two, and she'll drop your poor ex-hubby and move on to her next victim, fangs wet.
Nel: She's a bloodsucker alright, with terrible manners and very bad English to boot. I can't help but giggle the first time I heard her speak, and baffled too, at The Ex-Hubby's bad taste, and insulted too, because, if he must leave me, I expect her to be someone much better than me.
Catwoman: Either she's just playing with your mind (via the Bro-in-law, thinking that you'd get excited and get in touch with Ex), or she's found out that the Ex ain't that rich after all.
Nel: She has been holding by the balls. He's probably broke by now looking at how she vacuums (being a sucker) him clean for the last 3 years - to financially support her and her two brats.
The Mutt: "The way I see it,you can either sit back, relax, and wait for him to drop down on the ground to tell him "In your face asshole!" or you can ignore them both and continue your reconnaissance with Boom, which is closer to Kareena's personality, an admirable, loyal woman with integrity.
Nel: I still have that crush for Mr. Crush Boom Bang. But even if I'm not setting my sights on the moon for Mr. Crush Boom Bang, I would probably just ignore The Other Woman's mind games - my life no longer evolves around The Ex-Hubby, so she can fuck off if she thinks I would be jumping with excitement like a little child who gets a new toy. I have pride and integrity, and I won't stoop low to succumb to her mind games. I'd say to her, shoo, low life - get a life!
Catwoman: Damn, she's a sicko. But what about you? How are you?
Nel: I can't throw away my more "happening" life just to catch him fall into my arms. I'm no longer his safety net who would catch him everytime he falls. I hope he realises that I'm also no longer his door mat, punching bag and ego soother - I have arrived, as a financially and emotionally independent career woman.
If The Ex-Hubby wants me back, he has to strip his ego and crawls to me if that is what it takes. On that note, he has not even once, asked for my forgiveness, in person, like a man, to my face. He has to learn how to be a true gentleman at heart, not just looking and acting like one. Maybe that would be a good start. After what he did to me, is that too much to ask?
Nel: I wonder why men leaves their wives for such sluts and bitches. I don't understand - do men prefer bad girls to good girls? So why the hunt for "The Virtuous Woman", only to end up with a "Horny Slut" (money grabbing in 90% of the cases, too) after they get bored with "The Virtuous Woman".
The Mutt: Really, men are quite stupid, I'll admit it, because we always fall for the attractive/bitch package. But it never works out...
Nel: [Smiling] Because men thinks with one head at a time. Depends which one is doing the thinking.
Deep Blue Sea: Well..since I've seen her pic, I most honestly cannot say what he saw in her looks. Combined with what I am sure is a screechy voice and crass language (behaviour, I shudder to think; table manners....ouch!), I think he lost his head somewhere (between his legs?). Ummmph....and they say men are rational creatures. *eyes rolling*
Nel: Beats me...and I thought I married a smart man. I don't mean to be arrogant, you know I'm hardly that, but she is an insult to his intelligence. I can understand if beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but bad manners, is bad manners, period. There's no beauty in bad manners, and being crass. If beauty dwells deep within and is a mind over matter, then what the hell is the matter with his mind?
The Mutt: The bitch seems to be quite tenacious now, but I give her another month or two, and she'll drop your poor ex-hubby and move on to her next victim, fangs wet.
Nel: She's a bloodsucker alright, with terrible manners and very bad English to boot. I can't help but giggle the first time I heard her speak, and baffled too, at The Ex-Hubby's bad taste, and insulted too, because, if he must leave me, I expect her to be someone much better than me.
Catwoman: Either she's just playing with your mind (via the Bro-in-law, thinking that you'd get excited and get in touch with Ex), or she's found out that the Ex ain't that rich after all.
Nel: She has been holding by the balls. He's probably broke by now looking at how she vacuums (being a sucker) him clean for the last 3 years - to financially support her and her two brats.
The Mutt: "The way I see it,you can either sit back, relax, and wait for him to drop down on the ground to tell him "In your face asshole!" or you can ignore them both and continue your reconnaissance with Boom, which is closer to Kareena's personality, an admirable, loyal woman with integrity.
Nel: I still have that crush for Mr. Crush Boom Bang. But even if I'm not setting my sights on the moon for Mr. Crush Boom Bang, I would probably just ignore The Other Woman's mind games - my life no longer evolves around The Ex-Hubby, so she can fuck off if she thinks I would be jumping with excitement like a little child who gets a new toy. I have pride and integrity, and I won't stoop low to succumb to her mind games. I'd say to her, shoo, low life - get a life!
Catwoman: Damn, she's a sicko. But what about you? How are you?
Nel: I can't throw away my more "happening" life just to catch him fall into my arms. I'm no longer his safety net who would catch him everytime he falls. I hope he realises that I'm also no longer his door mat, punching bag and ego soother - I have arrived, as a financially and emotionally independent career woman.
If The Ex-Hubby wants me back, he has to strip his ego and crawls to me if that is what it takes. On that note, he has not even once, asked for my forgiveness, in person, like a man, to my face. He has to learn how to be a true gentleman at heart, not just looking and acting like one. Maybe that would be a good start. After what he did to me, is that too much to ask?
Friday, December 03, 2004
Sari & Sins
Last night, I finished reading "Sari & Sins" by Nisha Minha - a story about a Punjabi woman, Kareena who was married off to Samir by her parents. Samir was perfect, except that he has a dark secret in the shapely form of Cloey, his mistress who is not ready to give him up, or rather his house and bank balances.
Cloey reminds me of The Other Woman whom The Ex-Hubby is keeping. Very greedy, crude and possessive - nothing is ever enough to please Cloey. Where else, Kareena, was supportive and does everything she could to make Samir happy. Sounds like what I did for The Ex-Hubby for 15 years that we knew each other (and 7 years of marriage).
By the way, on Dec 15, the second day of Hari Raya, I got a missed call from The Ex-Hubby's mobile phone - I didn't manage to pick up the call in time as I was in the bathroom. I couldn't call back immediately, either, as I had run out of my prepaid credit and was too busy attending to mom's Hari Raya guests.
I asked Emak if I should call him back. Emak said there's no harm in calling back, as he probably expected me to call, being the miser he is. Hmmm...one if things guys should know - in order to be in your mom-in-law's good books, never, never, be stingy with her.
So, I called his mobile back like a few hours later. When I said "Hello", The Other Woman's voice was harshly telling me "Pukimak, apa kau mau?" ("Bitch, what do you want?") and then she hung up. I was shocked to hear such vulgarity from her, that I was speechless for a moment. When I recovered, I called back the number to tell her off but the phone was turned off. So, I never got to her. But I sms her telling her that I'm disappointed in The Ex-Hubby's choice of woman lately - she has no manners at all, I don't what he sees in her. He must be blind.
I wonder if he is really happy now? Stuck with a cormorant (new word I learned today - gluttonous, greedy, or rapacious person) lowlife such as THAT.
Just like Samir, Kareena and Cloey's love triangle, I wonder why men leaves their nice wives for such sluts and bitches. I don't understand - do men prefer bad girls to good girls? So why the hunt for The Virtuous Woman, only to end up with a Horny Slut (money grabbing in 90% of the cases, too) after they get bored with The Virtuous Woman.
My mind was echoing Michelle Branch when she sings: Could you look me in the eye, and tell me that you're happy now? Would you tell it to my face (or have I been erased), are you happy now? Ohhh, ohhhh are you happy now? Are you happy now? Are you happy now?
I called up The Ex Hubby's Sister-in-Law, and she said The Other Woman does that all the time when she calls The Ex-Hubby's Sister. The Other Woman wouldn't let The Ex Hubby get close to his own family. The Mummy-in-Law told me that for the whole of Ramadhan month, The Ex Hubby hardly come by except for Hari Raya's eve. He came by on the first day of Hari Raya and left right after lunch, when his phone rang (they assumed it was The Other Woman having him at her beck and call 24/7).
Queen control
I also found out that The Ex-Hubby's Brother got a phone call from The Other Woman to interrogate him how often I call The Ex-Hubby's Family and how often they call me. Waaah, so nosy eh? The Ex-Hubby's Brother told her that we keep in touch very often. And she asked if they still love me. He said, of course. She told him, if that is so, then they can have me back as she's backing off, she's obviously unwanted. Whoa, this is incredible, too good to be true, indeed. I even checked my ears if they are working properly.
I told Graveyard Shift and Madam Fuss-Over, and they said, it's not that she's giving him up. It is just that, being a parasite that she is, she probably found another "tree" to live on and suck it dry. She's leaving The Ex-Hubby only when he is going to be useless to her. She has probably caught a Bigger Fish.
Do you think so? Tell me what is your theory...
Cloey reminds me of The Other Woman whom The Ex-Hubby is keeping. Very greedy, crude and possessive - nothing is ever enough to please Cloey. Where else, Kareena, was supportive and does everything she could to make Samir happy. Sounds like what I did for The Ex-Hubby for 15 years that we knew each other (and 7 years of marriage).
By the way, on Dec 15, the second day of Hari Raya, I got a missed call from The Ex-Hubby's mobile phone - I didn't manage to pick up the call in time as I was in the bathroom. I couldn't call back immediately, either, as I had run out of my prepaid credit and was too busy attending to mom's Hari Raya guests.
I asked Emak if I should call him back. Emak said there's no harm in calling back, as he probably expected me to call, being the miser he is. Hmmm...one if things guys should know - in order to be in your mom-in-law's good books, never, never, be stingy with her.
So, I called his mobile back like a few hours later. When I said "Hello", The Other Woman's voice was harshly telling me "Pukimak, apa kau mau?" ("Bitch, what do you want?") and then she hung up. I was shocked to hear such vulgarity from her, that I was speechless for a moment. When I recovered, I called back the number to tell her off but the phone was turned off. So, I never got to her. But I sms her telling her that I'm disappointed in The Ex-Hubby's choice of woman lately - she has no manners at all, I don't what he sees in her. He must be blind.
I wonder if he is really happy now? Stuck with a cormorant (new word I learned today - gluttonous, greedy, or rapacious person) lowlife such as THAT.
Just like Samir, Kareena and Cloey's love triangle, I wonder why men leaves their nice wives for such sluts and bitches. I don't understand - do men prefer bad girls to good girls? So why the hunt for The Virtuous Woman, only to end up with a Horny Slut (money grabbing in 90% of the cases, too) after they get bored with The Virtuous Woman.
My mind was echoing Michelle Branch when she sings: Could you look me in the eye, and tell me that you're happy now? Would you tell it to my face (or have I been erased), are you happy now? Ohhh, ohhhh are you happy now? Are you happy now? Are you happy now?
I called up The Ex Hubby's Sister-in-Law, and she said The Other Woman does that all the time when she calls The Ex-Hubby's Sister. The Other Woman wouldn't let The Ex Hubby get close to his own family. The Mummy-in-Law told me that for the whole of Ramadhan month, The Ex Hubby hardly come by except for Hari Raya's eve. He came by on the first day of Hari Raya and left right after lunch, when his phone rang (they assumed it was The Other Woman having him at her beck and call 24/7).
Queen control
I also found out that The Ex-Hubby's Brother got a phone call from The Other Woman to interrogate him how often I call The Ex-Hubby's Family and how often they call me. Waaah, so nosy eh? The Ex-Hubby's Brother told her that we keep in touch very often. And she asked if they still love me. He said, of course. She told him, if that is so, then they can have me back as she's backing off, she's obviously unwanted. Whoa, this is incredible, too good to be true, indeed. I even checked my ears if they are working properly.
I told Graveyard Shift and Madam Fuss-Over, and they said, it's not that she's giving him up. It is just that, being a parasite that she is, she probably found another "tree" to live on and suck it dry. She's leaving The Ex-Hubby only when he is going to be useless to her. She has probably caught a Bigger Fish.
Do you think so? Tell me what is your theory...
Tuesday, November 30, 2004
As I mature
Something interesting I got in the mail today:
As I mature
As I mature I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.
I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.
I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better have a big willy or huge boobs.
I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think.
I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished.
I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.
I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place!
I've learned that 99% of the time when something isn't working in your house, one of your kids did it
I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon
and all the less important ones just never go away.
As I mature
As I mature I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.
I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.
I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better have a big willy or huge boobs.
I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think.
I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished.
I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.
I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place!
I've learned that 99% of the time when something isn't working in your house, one of your kids did it
I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon
and all the less important ones just never go away.
Monday, November 29, 2004
If I were a brand...
Light a candle (Copyright by Pick Yin)
Whenever you see darkness, there is extraordinary opportunity for the light to burn brighter. It is an opportunity for self-improvement.
I am thinking about doing a personal brand building - I want a stronger brand that speaks well for myself and creates presence wherever I am. I must get out of my invisible mode and be more visible! They say, the race is not always to the swift, but to those who keep on running. I must keep on running to keep ahead.
The Other Side of Nel
As suggested by Women's Weekly magazine, I carried out a poll among my friends to take stock of my current personal brand as a basis for my new personal brand - "If I were a brand, what would I be? Why do you think so?"
The responses I received were eye openers and some were totally unexpected.
Prince Charming: Prada - immaculate, sexy, unrivalled in quality although I am tempted to say Durex - reliable, safe and elastic.
Belle of the Ball: Rolls Royce - limited edition, only those with discerning taste, or an acquired taste dares, and with the means to spend, can own me. (wow...I never thought that, really)
Lynn: Rolex - very upmarket and top of the range.
Soul Sista: Still thinking...
See Ming: Clinique Happy - so cheerful, people want to be with you because your smile is infectious (she's really sweet).
Deep Blue Sea: Still thinking...
Mr. Feel Good: Haagen Daz - distinct, vibrant, energetic, but at the same time, sexy, cool and calm - you make me wanna go wild (I won't know how to respond if this is a pick-up line, I'd probably find it easier to walk a hundred miles or go climb up a mountain).
Suku: Nike - Just Do It! (Great! Nike was the Goddess of Victory)
Va Va Voom: Toyota Camry - relible, safe and strong - built for comfort.
Black Dude: Habib Jewels - top quality diamonds that are worth every cent are every girl's best friend, massive appeal - everyone would love to have a piece of you. (oh, he does like me afterall)
Graveyard Shift: Still thinking...
Party Chick: Huh? Brand? I'm too tipsy to think right now... (yeah, one sip and she goes tipsy already)
Chi Chi: Marks & Spencer or Cadbury Hot Chocolates - homely, warm and fuzzy - gives me comfort (hehehe...I always stuff her with loads of food when she comes over to my house).
=================================================================================
Bloggers, you're welcome to add your opinions.
Whenever you see darkness, there is extraordinary opportunity for the light to burn brighter. It is an opportunity for self-improvement.
I am thinking about doing a personal brand building - I want a stronger brand that speaks well for myself and creates presence wherever I am. I must get out of my invisible mode and be more visible! They say, the race is not always to the swift, but to those who keep on running. I must keep on running to keep ahead.
The Other Side of Nel
As suggested by Women's Weekly magazine, I carried out a poll among my friends to take stock of my current personal brand as a basis for my new personal brand - "If I were a brand, what would I be? Why do you think so?"
The responses I received were eye openers and some were totally unexpected.
Prince Charming: Prada - immaculate, sexy, unrivalled in quality although I am tempted to say Durex - reliable, safe and elastic.
Belle of the Ball: Rolls Royce - limited edition, only those with discerning taste, or an acquired taste dares, and with the means to spend, can own me. (wow...I never thought that, really)
Lynn: Rolex - very upmarket and top of the range.
Soul Sista: Still thinking...
See Ming: Clinique Happy - so cheerful, people want to be with you because your smile is infectious (she's really sweet).
Deep Blue Sea: Still thinking...
Mr. Feel Good: Haagen Daz - distinct, vibrant, energetic, but at the same time, sexy, cool and calm - you make me wanna go wild (I won't know how to respond if this is a pick-up line, I'd probably find it easier to walk a hundred miles or go climb up a mountain).
Suku: Nike - Just Do It! (Great! Nike was the Goddess of Victory)
Va Va Voom: Toyota Camry - relible, safe and strong - built for comfort.
Black Dude: Habib Jewels - top quality diamonds that are worth every cent are every girl's best friend, massive appeal - everyone would love to have a piece of you. (oh, he does like me afterall)
Graveyard Shift: Still thinking...
Party Chick: Huh? Brand? I'm too tipsy to think right now... (yeah, one sip and she goes tipsy already)
Chi Chi: Marks & Spencer or Cadbury Hot Chocolates - homely, warm and fuzzy - gives me comfort (hehehe...I always stuff her with loads of food when she comes over to my house).
=================================================================================
Bloggers, you're welcome to add your opinions.
Saturday, November 27, 2004
Worry, worry, worry
I think I am a constant worrier - I worry for no reason sometimes. If I am not worried about something at some point of time - I'd be worried that I am not worried at all. It is worrying me now that I am a constant worrier. But I get worried if I don't worry enough. I worried that I don't get enough rest, and I worry if I'm resting more than I need. Worrying has become a habit that I slip into it without thinking. A vicious cycle, indeed.
But I don't get anxiety attacks, though, and I don't become a nervous wreck either. I'm usually calm and collected, and usually think fast in emergency situations - I don't panic easily too.
It is just that my mind is always working, non-stop, even as I sleep. While I sleep, I can see myself dreaming, and my mind became conscious that I was dreaming. If it's a good dream, I can see myself smiling at myself dreaming. If it's a bad dream, I would be telling myself to wake up right away. It's like a consciousness outside another consciousness.
Anyways, today I read an article on iVillage.co.uk, about anxiety.
The article says, "Anxiety isn't just mentally painful. It's physically debilitating - if you're a constant worrier, you could cut up to seven and a half years from your life. Plus, being caught in the worry trap can have a negative impact on your working life, marriage and health.
So how can you beat your worries? This is what the article suggests.
====================================================================
Whether it's feeling anxious about our career, social life, sex life or size of our backsides, follow these tips and get a handle on your stress.
Assess the problem
So first, assess the extent of your problem. Respond 'yes' or 'no' to these eight statements
1. I have a lot on my mind at the moment
2. Sometimes I lie awake worrying
3. I find it hard to concentrate because I'm anxious
4. I get edgy if things go wrong
5. I often spend all day fretting
6. People always say I worry too much
7. Sometimes I cry from anxiety
8. Worry gives me tension headaches, back pain or tummy problems
Analysis:
The more questions you say yes too, the more caught you are in the worry trap; the ones at the bottom of the list have more serious implications than the ones at the top.
- One or two 'yes' responses particularly if you give them to the early numbers 1-4, mean that you're fine.
- Three to four 'yes' responses, spread out over the statements, mean that you do have a worry problem but are not in crisis.
- More than four 'yes' responses anywhere on the list and you are firmly caught in the worry trap.
Nel scores three - I have a lot on my mind at the moment, I find it hard to concentrate because I'm anxious, worry gives me tension headaches, back pain or tummy problems. Great, means I do have a worry problem but am not in crisis. Phew!
Here's what the article suggests that we do to create a non-worry climate.
Create a non-worry climate
Your first line of attack against worry should be to arm yourself generally against stress and anxiety - because to have the energy and motivation to cope, you need to be physically and emotionally strong.
1. Eat a healthy balanced diet
2. Get at least seven hours of relaxed, deep, good quality sleep each night
3. Take regular exercise, at least three times a week
4. Spend some time outdoors each day, to ward off SAD
5. Make sure your living and working environments are comfortable and supportive
6. Spend at least 15 minutes each day relaxing or meditating
7. At least twice a week, do something so absorbing that you forget your problems: listen to music, garden, write, paint, knit, walk, dance
8. Cultivate the habit of positivity in what you think, feel and say: think well of others, be kind to yourself, notice what's good and shrug off what's bad
9. Give yourself treats: at least one minor self-indulgence per day, at least one major one per week. 10. Find a higher meaning in life, so that when things get hard you are able to remember that there is a plan and a higher purpose
Nel's confession: I haven't been doing any of the above for at least 9 months, except for numbers 7-9. I write blogs, which is an absorbing 15 minutes a day (when it rains it pours when I'm inspired to write), and I think positively most of the time, but I give myself too much treats that I worry that I over indulge myself sometimes. I really should work on eating healthily, exercising enough, getting enough sleep, relaxing enough, and start doing my outdoor activities again. I haven't hiked in 9 months.
Learn to troubleshoot
Even once you've established a positive life climate, some areas in your life - work, money, love, friendship - may tip you into the worry trap. You need to develop the mental strategy of troubleshooting potentially worrying life issues.
1. Ask: Is it a problem?
Some things you worry about may not actually be a problem. You may have imagined that your man is losing interest, or that your boss is critical of you. You need to confirm your information, maybe even check out your anxieties with the person concerned.
In particular, if you're worrying about something that may happen in the future, look at how high the probability actually is. Sure, you need to protect yourself against disaster - but when you're in the worry trap, sometimes you set your 'smoke detector' way too high and end up worrying about something that just isn't happening or isn't going to happen.
2. Ask: Is it my problem?
Some problems that you worry about may not actually be yours to solve. Either you can't solve it - there is, after all, nothing you can do about getting old or dying. Or, it's someone else's problem to solve - your friend's love life and your Mum's weight problem need your sympathy and support, but not your constant anxiety.
3. Ask: What can I do?
It's always better to sort something out than to worry about it. So set a clear outcome for the problem you're facing. Then get your confidence up by thinking back to the times you've solved similar problems, and remind yourself of your strengths. If you still feel that you couldn't cope, list out the extras you need - assistance from others, extra training, more financial or practical help. Then act - remembering to give yourself motivational rewards at regular intervals along the way.
3. Ask: Am I still worrying?
Once you're taking action, the most effective and useful thing to do is to stop fretting about the issue. But you may still be in the worry trap; worrying has become a habit that you slip into it without thinking.
If so, once you spot the early signs - constant fretting, shakiness, irritability or lack of energy - stop immediately. Calm yourself, by breathing slowly, relaxing deliberately, slowing your actions down, smiling to signal positivity to your body. Then concentrate on positive things: past successes or future hopes.
Finally take one small action - even something absolutely tiny - that will make you feel you are succeeding. Even fixing your make-up or doing the washing up will put you firmly back in control again and lower your worry level.
Resources
There are some excellent resources around at present to help you break out of the worry trap. I would recommend:
How to Stop Worrying by Frank Tallis (Sheldon Press, £6.99)
Shift your thinking, Change your life by Mo Shapiro (Sheldon Press, £6.99)
Fearless Living by Rhonda Britten (Hodder & Stoughton, £10.00)
Embracing Uncertainty by Susan Jeffers (Hodder & Stoughton,£10.00)
Don't Sweat the Small Stuff by Richard Carlson (Hodder & Stoughton,£7.99)
But I don't get anxiety attacks, though, and I don't become a nervous wreck either. I'm usually calm and collected, and usually think fast in emergency situations - I don't panic easily too.
It is just that my mind is always working, non-stop, even as I sleep. While I sleep, I can see myself dreaming, and my mind became conscious that I was dreaming. If it's a good dream, I can see myself smiling at myself dreaming. If it's a bad dream, I would be telling myself to wake up right away. It's like a consciousness outside another consciousness.
Anyways, today I read an article on iVillage.co.uk, about anxiety.
The article says, "Anxiety isn't just mentally painful. It's physically debilitating - if you're a constant worrier, you could cut up to seven and a half years from your life. Plus, being caught in the worry trap can have a negative impact on your working life, marriage and health.
So how can you beat your worries? This is what the article suggests.
====================================================================
Whether it's feeling anxious about our career, social life, sex life or size of our backsides, follow these tips and get a handle on your stress.
Assess the problem
So first, assess the extent of your problem. Respond 'yes' or 'no' to these eight statements
1. I have a lot on my mind at the moment
2. Sometimes I lie awake worrying
3. I find it hard to concentrate because I'm anxious
4. I get edgy if things go wrong
5. I often spend all day fretting
6. People always say I worry too much
7. Sometimes I cry from anxiety
8. Worry gives me tension headaches, back pain or tummy problems
Analysis:
The more questions you say yes too, the more caught you are in the worry trap; the ones at the bottom of the list have more serious implications than the ones at the top.
- One or two 'yes' responses particularly if you give them to the early numbers 1-4, mean that you're fine.
- Three to four 'yes' responses, spread out over the statements, mean that you do have a worry problem but are not in crisis.
- More than four 'yes' responses anywhere on the list and you are firmly caught in the worry trap.
Nel scores three - I have a lot on my mind at the moment, I find it hard to concentrate because I'm anxious, worry gives me tension headaches, back pain or tummy problems. Great, means I do have a worry problem but am not in crisis. Phew!
Here's what the article suggests that we do to create a non-worry climate.
Create a non-worry climate
Your first line of attack against worry should be to arm yourself generally against stress and anxiety - because to have the energy and motivation to cope, you need to be physically and emotionally strong.
1. Eat a healthy balanced diet
2. Get at least seven hours of relaxed, deep, good quality sleep each night
3. Take regular exercise, at least three times a week
4. Spend some time outdoors each day, to ward off SAD
5. Make sure your living and working environments are comfortable and supportive
6. Spend at least 15 minutes each day relaxing or meditating
7. At least twice a week, do something so absorbing that you forget your problems: listen to music, garden, write, paint, knit, walk, dance
8. Cultivate the habit of positivity in what you think, feel and say: think well of others, be kind to yourself, notice what's good and shrug off what's bad
9. Give yourself treats: at least one minor self-indulgence per day, at least one major one per week. 10. Find a higher meaning in life, so that when things get hard you are able to remember that there is a plan and a higher purpose
Nel's confession: I haven't been doing any of the above for at least 9 months, except for numbers 7-9. I write blogs, which is an absorbing 15 minutes a day (when it rains it pours when I'm inspired to write), and I think positively most of the time, but I give myself too much treats that I worry that I over indulge myself sometimes. I really should work on eating healthily, exercising enough, getting enough sleep, relaxing enough, and start doing my outdoor activities again. I haven't hiked in 9 months.
Learn to troubleshoot
Even once you've established a positive life climate, some areas in your life - work, money, love, friendship - may tip you into the worry trap. You need to develop the mental strategy of troubleshooting potentially worrying life issues.
1. Ask: Is it a problem?
Some things you worry about may not actually be a problem. You may have imagined that your man is losing interest, or that your boss is critical of you. You need to confirm your information, maybe even check out your anxieties with the person concerned.
In particular, if you're worrying about something that may happen in the future, look at how high the probability actually is. Sure, you need to protect yourself against disaster - but when you're in the worry trap, sometimes you set your 'smoke detector' way too high and end up worrying about something that just isn't happening or isn't going to happen.
2. Ask: Is it my problem?
Some problems that you worry about may not actually be yours to solve. Either you can't solve it - there is, after all, nothing you can do about getting old or dying. Or, it's someone else's problem to solve - your friend's love life and your Mum's weight problem need your sympathy and support, but not your constant anxiety.
3. Ask: What can I do?
It's always better to sort something out than to worry about it. So set a clear outcome for the problem you're facing. Then get your confidence up by thinking back to the times you've solved similar problems, and remind yourself of your strengths. If you still feel that you couldn't cope, list out the extras you need - assistance from others, extra training, more financial or practical help. Then act - remembering to give yourself motivational rewards at regular intervals along the way.
3. Ask: Am I still worrying?
Once you're taking action, the most effective and useful thing to do is to stop fretting about the issue. But you may still be in the worry trap; worrying has become a habit that you slip into it without thinking.
If so, once you spot the early signs - constant fretting, shakiness, irritability or lack of energy - stop immediately. Calm yourself, by breathing slowly, relaxing deliberately, slowing your actions down, smiling to signal positivity to your body. Then concentrate on positive things: past successes or future hopes.
Finally take one small action - even something absolutely tiny - that will make you feel you are succeeding. Even fixing your make-up or doing the washing up will put you firmly back in control again and lower your worry level.
Resources
There are some excellent resources around at present to help you break out of the worry trap. I would recommend:
How to Stop Worrying by Frank Tallis (Sheldon Press, £6.99)
Shift your thinking, Change your life by Mo Shapiro (Sheldon Press, £6.99)
Fearless Living by Rhonda Britten (Hodder & Stoughton, £10.00)
Embracing Uncertainty by Susan Jeffers (Hodder & Stoughton,£10.00)
Don't Sweat the Small Stuff by Richard Carlson (Hodder & Stoughton,£7.99)
Friday, November 26, 2004
Grafitti, grafitti on the wall
Grafitti, grafitti on the wall, who's the most pathetic of them all?
I would like to reiterate my case, Grafitti artists are a group of utter nuisances – they have principles but no backbone – speaking up your mind on public walls may get you heard. But it is an irresponsible act of cowards to leave your mark and hide. I hate graffiti – I don’t like to see destruction.
This morning I saw grafitti on the elevator wall at my condominium building. Someone complaining about Mr Aw-ful, our building manager not doing anything to clean the swimming pool.
For Pete's sake, just shoot a proper complaint letter to the management, will ya! Write to the newspapers if you want, write it on your blog too, but leave the walls alone. I like to see my walls clean, and the grafitti is an eye sore. Grafitti writers are a bunch of pathetic backboneless losers! Especially when they are also residents of the building - in metaphorical terms, why shit on your own bed?
I would like to reiterate my case, Grafitti artists are a group of utter nuisances – they have principles but no backbone – speaking up your mind on public walls may get you heard. But it is an irresponsible act of cowards to leave your mark and hide. I hate graffiti – I don’t like to see destruction.
This morning I saw grafitti on the elevator wall at my condominium building. Someone complaining about Mr Aw-ful, our building manager not doing anything to clean the swimming pool.
For Pete's sake, just shoot a proper complaint letter to the management, will ya! Write to the newspapers if you want, write it on your blog too, but leave the walls alone. I like to see my walls clean, and the grafitti is an eye sore. Grafitti writers are a bunch of pathetic backboneless losers! Especially when they are also residents of the building - in metaphorical terms, why shit on your own bed?
Thursday, November 25, 2004
The problem is not materialism
His Holiness the Dalai Lama once said, "The problem is not materialism as such. Rather, it is the underlying assumption that full satisfaction can arise from gratifying the senses alone. Unlike animals whose quest for happiness is restricted to survival and to the immediate gratification of sensory desires, we human beings have the capacity to experience happiness at a deeper level which, when achieved, can overwhelm unhappy experiences."
Reflecting on what he said, I can see why we have a lot of unhappy people on this planet - espcially more so in modern cities around the world.
Don't you agree that people have become superficial, materialistic and hedonistic. Why? To gratify our senses to no end.
While communication technology is becoming more advanced and are supposed to bring us closer to each other, people don't "connect" to each other - even kids stay indoors to chat on yahoo, instead of playing together or meeting up to chat.
We just want more of everything - and thought it would make us happy.
People are lacking a sense of purpose in life and money is everything.
Reflecting on what he said, I can see why we have a lot of unhappy people on this planet - espcially more so in modern cities around the world.
Don't you agree that people have become superficial, materialistic and hedonistic. Why? To gratify our senses to no end.
While communication technology is becoming more advanced and are supposed to bring us closer to each other, people don't "connect" to each other - even kids stay indoors to chat on yahoo, instead of playing together or meeting up to chat.
We just want more of everything - and thought it would make us happy.
People are lacking a sense of purpose in life and money is everything.
Tuesday, November 23, 2004
Corrupt Politicians vs Terrorists
I logged on to www.kakiseni.com today to check out an art exhibition by Jorg Shimon Shuldness: A Mystical Painter from Switzerland currently on display at The National Art Gallery, from Nov 5-28, 2004.
The synopsis says: “This exhibition will provide an opportunity for viewers to contemplate the works of Jorg Shimon Shuldhess, an artist from Switzerland who paints to "return to the cosmic forces what he had taken from them". An uncompromising believer in his own brand of humane philosophy, this mystical artist even changed his original family name of Schulthess into Shuldhess in order to underline his belief that mankind is loaded with guilt (in German: schuld).”
Voter's Poll
After browsing through, I decided to take a voter’s poll on the website. The question asked: “Which of the following should be put in jail in order that you might have a sense of tranquility?”
The multiple choices are: Transexuals, Sodomites, Grafitti artists, Oppositions, Terrorists, Documentary makers, Reckless motorbikers, Direct salespersons, Bad actors, Republicans, Moralists, CEOs of multinational corporations, or Corrupt politicians (is that redundant?).
Nel thinks:
Although a sore to the eyes sometimes, Transexuals are a harmless group, really, and most have stronger principles than some Moralists and a lot safer than reckless motorbikers.
Republicans especially President Bush are as redundant as corrupt politicians – but America elected him as President despite clear stupidity in his actions and thoughts, I wonder why, or should I at all.
Vote Republican
I try my best to avoid Direct salespersons but I do know they’re making a living too. Grafitti artists are a group of utter nuisances – they have principles but no backbone – speaking up your mind on public walls may get you heard. But it is an irresponsible act of cowards to leave your mark and hide. I hate graffiti – I don’t like to see destruction.
I don’t like Bad actors either but I can just turn off the tube or don’t watch their movies at all. Believe it or not, we have so many bad actors in our midst – some paid and some are not – and I know many of them personally. I don’t know if they know that I know that they are indeed very bad actors and terrible liars. I hate terribly good liars too.
Nice people, mean people
Some Moralists are genuine, but some, on the other hand, are hypocrites – haven’t we learned in Anthropology and Sociology that morals are a relative subject. What is moral in one culture and religion may not be true in another – how do we judge morals? I believe we should hold to our own morals and not judge others based on our own – you can only judge another based on their own standards.
I hate politics – so I hardly bothered about the Oppositions – although I do glanced in the newspapers from time to time – and shake my head in irony - when some politicians made uncalled for remarks and brought up irrelevant issues. Corrupt politicians, and Oppositions – they will always be around. There’s no use losing sleep over them. Just vote wisely when you are at the election poll next time.
I like Documentary makers – documentaries are my knowledge portal. I’m a fan of National Geographic and Discovery channels. CEOs of multinational corporations – we need them for the economy.
Nel decides:
I think Terrorists would make me lose my sleep the most. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have opted out from the Satria GTI Road Tour to Southern Thailand – I better not get entangled with the military terrorists there. I may be adventurous, but I do love myself and value my life, safety and health above all.
What the actual voter's poll results say:
Transexuals 3% (12)
Sodomites 5% (20)
Grafitti artists 0% (2)
Oppositions 1% (6)
Terrorists 21% (76)
Documentary makers 1% (6)
Reckless motorbikers 13% (46)
Direct salespersons 5% (20)
Bad actors 7% (25)
Republicans 3% (11)
Moralists 3% (14)
CEOs of multinational corporations 3% (14)
Corrupt politicians (is that redundant?) 28%
Nel wonders:
It seems that while 21% voted for terrorists, apparently even more so people lose sleep over Corrupt politicians (28%). I strongly disagree with the masses. Like I said earlier, Corrupt politicians will always be around. There’s no use losing sleep over them – better to use your voting power wisely at the election poll.
The synopsis says: “This exhibition will provide an opportunity for viewers to contemplate the works of Jorg Shimon Shuldhess, an artist from Switzerland who paints to "return to the cosmic forces what he had taken from them". An uncompromising believer in his own brand of humane philosophy, this mystical artist even changed his original family name of Schulthess into Shuldhess in order to underline his belief that mankind is loaded with guilt (in German: schuld).”
Voter's Poll
After browsing through, I decided to take a voter’s poll on the website. The question asked: “Which of the following should be put in jail in order that you might have a sense of tranquility?”
The multiple choices are: Transexuals, Sodomites, Grafitti artists, Oppositions, Terrorists, Documentary makers, Reckless motorbikers, Direct salespersons, Bad actors, Republicans, Moralists, CEOs of multinational corporations, or Corrupt politicians (is that redundant?).
Nel thinks:
Although a sore to the eyes sometimes, Transexuals are a harmless group, really, and most have stronger principles than some Moralists and a lot safer than reckless motorbikers.
Republicans especially President Bush are as redundant as corrupt politicians – but America elected him as President despite clear stupidity in his actions and thoughts, I wonder why, or should I at all.
Vote Republican
I try my best to avoid Direct salespersons but I do know they’re making a living too. Grafitti artists are a group of utter nuisances – they have principles but no backbone – speaking up your mind on public walls may get you heard. But it is an irresponsible act of cowards to leave your mark and hide. I hate graffiti – I don’t like to see destruction.
I don’t like Bad actors either but I can just turn off the tube or don’t watch their movies at all. Believe it or not, we have so many bad actors in our midst – some paid and some are not – and I know many of them personally. I don’t know if they know that I know that they are indeed very bad actors and terrible liars. I hate terribly good liars too.
Nice people, mean people
Some Moralists are genuine, but some, on the other hand, are hypocrites – haven’t we learned in Anthropology and Sociology that morals are a relative subject. What is moral in one culture and religion may not be true in another – how do we judge morals? I believe we should hold to our own morals and not judge others based on our own – you can only judge another based on their own standards.
I hate politics – so I hardly bothered about the Oppositions – although I do glanced in the newspapers from time to time – and shake my head in irony - when some politicians made uncalled for remarks and brought up irrelevant issues. Corrupt politicians, and Oppositions – they will always be around. There’s no use losing sleep over them. Just vote wisely when you are at the election poll next time.
I like Documentary makers – documentaries are my knowledge portal. I’m a fan of National Geographic and Discovery channels. CEOs of multinational corporations – we need them for the economy.
Nel decides:
I think Terrorists would make me lose my sleep the most. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have opted out from the Satria GTI Road Tour to Southern Thailand – I better not get entangled with the military terrorists there. I may be adventurous, but I do love myself and value my life, safety and health above all.
What the actual voter's poll results say:
Transexuals 3% (12)
Sodomites 5% (20)
Grafitti artists 0% (2)
Oppositions 1% (6)
Terrorists 21% (76)
Documentary makers 1% (6)
Reckless motorbikers 13% (46)
Direct salespersons 5% (20)
Bad actors 7% (25)
Republicans 3% (11)
Moralists 3% (14)
CEOs of multinational corporations 3% (14)
Corrupt politicians (is that redundant?) 28%
Nel wonders:
It seems that while 21% voted for terrorists, apparently even more so people lose sleep over Corrupt politicians (28%). I strongly disagree with the masses. Like I said earlier, Corrupt politicians will always be around. There’s no use losing sleep over them – better to use your voting power wisely at the election poll.
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
Pantu Se-Malaya
To all Muslim bloggers celebrating Aidil Fitri:
Selamat Hari Raya & Eid Mubarak!
Have a safe journey if you're travelling!
Here's a pantun to my fellow Malaysians:
PANTUN SE-MALAYA
Kelantan...
Make ikke cicoh budu
Jange lupo tamboh satar
Kelik rayo taksir laju
Nanti rayo dale sepita
Terengganu...
Makang ubi jamang jepong
Makang kepok cicah cuke
Bulang pose mung bengong
Bulang raye mung gile
Pahang...
Sepadan Pahang ada kasino
Nasi dagang ikan patin
Jange mu masam muko
Raya makan rendang sadin
Johor...
Cegitu cegini awak suke
Awak suke kite tak suke
Esok luse hari raye
Sama-sama bersuke rie
Melaka...
Hawau kau berak merate
Kaki bengkak ulau patok
Kalu balik naik kerete
Jangan pandu kalau ngantok
N. Sembilan...
Masak lomak cili api
Campo dongan daun turi
Hari rayo kolumpo sopi
Tinggal penyamun dongan pencuri
(org kolumpo jgn kocik ati!!)
Selangor/K.Lumpur...
Wa cakap lu wa tak tau
Tapi wa tipu sama lu
Raya jangan buat tak tau
Angpau ada bagi gua dulu
Perak...
Gulai tempoyak ikan mayong
Deroyan busok tebok tupai
Pandu hemat ingat kampong
Asal teman selamat sampai
Kedah...
Aloq Staq terketaq-ketaq
Lapaq perut makan pau
Macam mana tak ketaq
Kena paksa bagi angpau
Penang...
Nasi kandaq kedai mamak
Anak mami juai pesemboq
Lepas raya usah dok triak
Kalu ceti mai ikut dapoq
Perlis...
Padang besaq kecik aja
Tempat siam lalu lalang
Hari raya kita berbelanja
Jangan sampai menambah utang
Sorry la Sabah n Sarawak jauh nak kena naik belon baru boleh buat Pantun.
Selamat Hari Raya & Eid Mubarak!
Have a safe journey if you're travelling!
Here's a pantun to my fellow Malaysians:
PANTUN SE-MALAYA
Kelantan...
Make ikke cicoh budu
Jange lupo tamboh satar
Kelik rayo taksir laju
Nanti rayo dale sepita
Terengganu...
Makang ubi jamang jepong
Makang kepok cicah cuke
Bulang pose mung bengong
Bulang raye mung gile
Pahang...
Sepadan Pahang ada kasino
Nasi dagang ikan patin
Jange mu masam muko
Raya makan rendang sadin
Johor...
Cegitu cegini awak suke
Awak suke kite tak suke
Esok luse hari raye
Sama-sama bersuke rie
Melaka...
Hawau kau berak merate
Kaki bengkak ulau patok
Kalu balik naik kerete
Jangan pandu kalau ngantok
N. Sembilan...
Masak lomak cili api
Campo dongan daun turi
Hari rayo kolumpo sopi
Tinggal penyamun dongan pencuri
(org kolumpo jgn kocik ati!!)
Selangor/K.Lumpur...
Wa cakap lu wa tak tau
Tapi wa tipu sama lu
Raya jangan buat tak tau
Angpau ada bagi gua dulu
Perak...
Gulai tempoyak ikan mayong
Deroyan busok tebok tupai
Pandu hemat ingat kampong
Asal teman selamat sampai
Kedah...
Aloq Staq terketaq-ketaq
Lapaq perut makan pau
Macam mana tak ketaq
Kena paksa bagi angpau
Penang...
Nasi kandaq kedai mamak
Anak mami juai pesemboq
Lepas raya usah dok triak
Kalu ceti mai ikut dapoq
Perlis...
Padang besaq kecik aja
Tempat siam lalu lalang
Hari raya kita berbelanja
Jangan sampai menambah utang
Sorry la Sabah n Sarawak jauh nak kena naik belon baru boleh buat Pantun.
Tuesday, November 09, 2004
Career mid life crisis?
I discovered corporate communications and public relations as a career by accident, because of my love for writing and organizing events. Ever since, I have enjoyed it and have been passionate at it for almost 10 years - until now.
Undertall
Lately, I have doubts about doing it for the next 20 years to retirement - and I find myself exploring alternative career plans. But I really don't know what I want to do right now - or what other things that I would be good at, and I haven't explored enough.
Is this what you call a career mid life crisis?
Undertall
Lately, I have doubts about doing it for the next 20 years to retirement - and I find myself exploring alternative career plans. But I really don't know what I want to do right now - or what other things that I would be good at, and I haven't explored enough.
Is this what you call a career mid life crisis?
Mujo
An interesting story:
Mujo or mujur in Standard Bahasa means "fortunate" or "lucky".
In Terengganu it means more than that. Mujo is an attitude, a testament to the optimism of the Terengganu folks. I believe that Terengganunese are optimistic. I haven't heard of any suicides there yet. No news whatsoever of people jumping down from coconut trees or drinking expired budu (preserved anchovy thick sauce) neat in order to expire themselves.
You must remember that Terengganu people lived with ferries, morning papers that came in the night and other things people in the West Coast take for granted. In spite of doing without 4D shops, discos, malls or Hot Spot-enabled coffee houses, they are surviving well without any mental hospital in sight. All because they have mujo.
Like I mentioned previously, mujo encapsulate a philosophy in itself. It means one should thank God that it is not worse. Time for an illustration.
Cut to a scene of 3 village ladies in their kemban washing clothes by the village well:
Mok Long Selamoh: Guane doh adik mung Mek? (How is your brother Mek?)
Mok Teh Som : Bakpe pulok adik dia? (What happened to her brother?)
Mok Long Selamoh: Laaa! Mung dok tau ke Som? (You don't know Som?)
Mok Teh Som :Dok tau setarang kita. (I don't know anything)
Mok Long Selamoh: Adik Mek ni kena langgor lori kemareng. (Mek's brother was knocked down by a lorry yesterday)
Mek Beso : Bukang lori Mok Long, beng ikang! (It wasn't a lorry Mok Long, it was a fish van)
Mok Long Selamoh: Mujo bukang lori! (Lucky it wasn't a lorry)
Mok Teh Som :Pah tu? Terok ke? (Then? Was he seriously injured?)
Mek Beso : Kaki patah sebelah......(One leg was broken)
Mok Teh Som : Mujo dok patoh dua dua (Lucky both legs weren't broken)
Mok Long Selamoh : Tu pong mujo dreba beng dang brek. (It was lucky that the van driver braked in time)
Mek Beso : Mujo beng tu dok laju.. (Lucky the van wasn't going fast..)
(Fade to black.)
If both legs were broken, the response would be "Mujo dok pecoh pala"(Lucky the head wasn't broken). If the head WAS broken, the response would be "Mujo dok mati" (Lucky he didn't die). If the worst happened and the brother died, the mujo would still surface. "Mujo lah bukang adik kita" (Lucky it wasn't my brother). You get the drift.....
Mujo. A nice word. Adopt it. Embrace it. It will preserve your sanity.
Mujo or mujur in Standard Bahasa means "fortunate" or "lucky".
In Terengganu it means more than that. Mujo is an attitude, a testament to the optimism of the Terengganu folks. I believe that Terengganunese are optimistic. I haven't heard of any suicides there yet. No news whatsoever of people jumping down from coconut trees or drinking expired budu (preserved anchovy thick sauce) neat in order to expire themselves.
You must remember that Terengganu people lived with ferries, morning papers that came in the night and other things people in the West Coast take for granted. In spite of doing without 4D shops, discos, malls or Hot Spot-enabled coffee houses, they are surviving well without any mental hospital in sight. All because they have mujo.
Like I mentioned previously, mujo encapsulate a philosophy in itself. It means one should thank God that it is not worse. Time for an illustration.
Cut to a scene of 3 village ladies in their kemban washing clothes by the village well:
Mok Long Selamoh: Guane doh adik mung Mek? (How is your brother Mek?)
Mok Teh Som : Bakpe pulok adik dia? (What happened to her brother?)
Mok Long Selamoh: Laaa! Mung dok tau ke Som? (You don't know Som?)
Mok Teh Som :Dok tau setarang kita. (I don't know anything)
Mok Long Selamoh: Adik Mek ni kena langgor lori kemareng. (Mek's brother was knocked down by a lorry yesterday)
Mek Beso : Bukang lori Mok Long, beng ikang! (It wasn't a lorry Mok Long, it was a fish van)
Mok Long Selamoh: Mujo bukang lori! (Lucky it wasn't a lorry)
Mok Teh Som :Pah tu? Terok ke? (Then? Was he seriously injured?)
Mek Beso : Kaki patah sebelah......(One leg was broken)
Mok Teh Som : Mujo dok patoh dua dua (Lucky both legs weren't broken)
Mok Long Selamoh : Tu pong mujo dreba beng dang brek. (It was lucky that the van driver braked in time)
Mek Beso : Mujo beng tu dok laju.. (Lucky the van wasn't going fast..)
(Fade to black.)
If both legs were broken, the response would be "Mujo dok pecoh pala"(Lucky the head wasn't broken). If the head WAS broken, the response would be "Mujo dok mati" (Lucky he didn't die). If the worst happened and the brother died, the mujo would still surface. "Mujo lah bukang adik kita" (Lucky it wasn't my brother). You get the drift.....
Mujo. A nice word. Adopt it. Embrace it. It will preserve your sanity.
When the absolute is absolute
I-ch'ing said: "When the absolute is absolute, it is incomplete; within completeness there is also the relative. When the relative is relative, it is not material; even within matter, completeness remains. Deep in the night, there's the energy that brings on dawn; when the sun is at its peak, it lights up the skies."
From "The Pocket Zen Reader," edited by Thomas Cleary, 1999. Reprinted by arrangement with Shambhala Publications, Boston, www.shambhala.com.
From "The Pocket Zen Reader," edited by Thomas Cleary, 1999. Reprinted by arrangement with Shambhala Publications, Boston, www.shambhala.com.
Saturday, November 06, 2004
Birthday Characteristics
Birthdays: (Look below for your characteristics)
January 01 - 09 ~ Dog
January 10 - 24 ~ Mouse
January 25 - 31 ~ Lion
February 01 - 05 ~ Cat
February 06 - 14 ~ Dove
February 15 - 21 ~ Turtle
February 22 - 28 ~ Panther
March 01 - 12 ~ Monkey
March 13 - 15 ~ Lion
March 16 - 23 ~ Mouse
March 24 - 31 ~ Cat
April 01 - 03 ~ Dog
April 04 - 14 ~ Panther
April 15 - 26 ~ Mouse
April 27 - 30 ~ Turtle
May 01 - 13 ~ Monkey
May 14 - 21 ~ Dove
May 22 - 31 ~ Lion
June 01 - 03 ~ Mouse
June 04 - 14 ~ Turtle
June 15 - 20 ~ Dog
June 21 - 24 ~ Monkey
June 25 - 30 ~ Cat
July 01 - 09 ~ Mouse
July 10 - 15 ~ Dog
July 16 - 26 ~ Dove
July 27 - 31 ~ Cat
August 01 - 15 ~ Monkey
August 16 - 25 ~ Mouse
August 26 - 31 ~ Turtle
September 01 - 14 ~ Dove
September 15 - 27 ~ Cat
September 28 - 30 ~ Dog
October 01 - 15 ~ Monkey
October 16 - 27 ~ Turtle
October 28 - 31 ~ Panther
November 01 - 16 ~ Lion
November 17 - 30 ~ Cat
December 01 - 16 ~ Dog
December 17 - 25 ~ Monkey
December 26 - 31 ~ Dove
If you are a Dog: A very loyal and sweet person.Your loyalty can never be doubted. You are quite honest and sincere when it comes to your attitude towards working. You are a very simple person, indeed. Absolutely hassle free, humble and down-to-earth!! That explains the reason why your friends cling on to you! You have a good taste for clothes. If your wardrobe is not updated with what is trendy, you sure are depressed. Popular and easy-going. You have a little group of dignified friends,all of them being quality-personified.
If you are a Mouse: Always up to some sort of a mischief! The mischievous gleam in your eyes is what makes you so cute and attractive to everyone. You are an extremely fun-to-be-with kind of person. No wonder, people seek for your company and look forward to include you for all get-togethers. However, you are sensitive, which is a drawback. People need to select their words while talking to you. If someone tries to fiddle around and play with words while dealing with you, it is enough to invite your wrath. God bless the person then!
If you are a Lion: Quite contradictory to your name, you are a peace loving person. You best try to avoid a situation wherein you are required to fight. An outdoor person, you dislike sitting at one place for a long duration. You are a born leader, and have it in you how to tactfully derive work from people. You love being loved, and when you receive your share of limelight from someone, you are all theirs!!!! Well, well... hence some people could even take an advantage, flatter you to the maximum and get their work done. So be careful.....
If you are a Cat: An extremely lovable, adorable person, sometimes shy,with a passion for quick wit. At times, you prefer quietness. You love exploring various things and going into depth of each thing. Under normal circumstances you're cool, when given a reason to, you are like a volcano waiting to erupt. You're a fashion bird. People look forward to you as an icon associated with fashion. Basically, you mingle along freely but don't like talking much to strangers. People feel very easy in your company. You observe care in choosing your friends.
If you are a Turtle: You are near to perfect and nice at heart.The examples of your kindness are always circulated in groups of people.You, too, love peace. You wouldn't like to retaliate even to a person who is in the wrong. You are loved due to this. You do not wish to talk behind one's back. People love the way you always treat them. You can give, give and give love, and the best part is that you do not expect it back in return.You are generous enough.Seeing things in a practical light is what remains the best trait of you guys.
If you are a Dove: You symbolize a very happy-go-lucky approach in life.Whatever the surroundings may be, grim or cheerful, you remain unaffected. In fact, you spread cheer wherever you go. You are the leader of your group of friends and good at consoling people in their times of need. You dislike hypocrisy and tend to shirk away from hypocrites. They can never be in your good books, no matter what. You are very methodical and organized in your work. No amount of mess, hence, can ever encompass you. Beware, it is easy for you to fall in love....
If you are a Panther: You are mysterious. You are someone who can handle pressure with ease, and can handle any atmosphere without going berserk.You can be mean at times, and love to gossip with your selected group.Very prim and proper. You like all situations and things to be in the way you desire, which, sometimes is not possible. As a result, you may lose out in some relationships. But otherwise, you love to help people out from difficult and tight spots when they really need you.
If you are a Monkey: Very impatient and hyper!!! You want things to be done as quick as possible. At heart, you are quite simple and love if you are the center of attraction. That way, you people are unique. You would like to keep yourself safe from all the angles. Shall your name be dragged or featured in any sort of a controversy, you then go all panicky. Therefore, you take your precautions from the very beginning. When you foresee anything wrong, your sixth sense is what saves you from falling in traps. Quite a money minded bunch you people are!!
January 01 - 09 ~ Dog
January 10 - 24 ~ Mouse
January 25 - 31 ~ Lion
February 01 - 05 ~ Cat
February 06 - 14 ~ Dove
February 15 - 21 ~ Turtle
February 22 - 28 ~ Panther
March 01 - 12 ~ Monkey
March 13 - 15 ~ Lion
March 16 - 23 ~ Mouse
March 24 - 31 ~ Cat
April 01 - 03 ~ Dog
April 04 - 14 ~ Panther
April 15 - 26 ~ Mouse
April 27 - 30 ~ Turtle
May 01 - 13 ~ Monkey
May 14 - 21 ~ Dove
May 22 - 31 ~ Lion
June 01 - 03 ~ Mouse
June 04 - 14 ~ Turtle
June 15 - 20 ~ Dog
June 21 - 24 ~ Monkey
June 25 - 30 ~ Cat
July 01 - 09 ~ Mouse
July 10 - 15 ~ Dog
July 16 - 26 ~ Dove
July 27 - 31 ~ Cat
August 01 - 15 ~ Monkey
August 16 - 25 ~ Mouse
August 26 - 31 ~ Turtle
September 01 - 14 ~ Dove
September 15 - 27 ~ Cat
September 28 - 30 ~ Dog
October 01 - 15 ~ Monkey
October 16 - 27 ~ Turtle
October 28 - 31 ~ Panther
November 01 - 16 ~ Lion
November 17 - 30 ~ Cat
December 01 - 16 ~ Dog
December 17 - 25 ~ Monkey
December 26 - 31 ~ Dove
If you are a Dog: A very loyal and sweet person.Your loyalty can never be doubted. You are quite honest and sincere when it comes to your attitude towards working. You are a very simple person, indeed. Absolutely hassle free, humble and down-to-earth!! That explains the reason why your friends cling on to you! You have a good taste for clothes. If your wardrobe is not updated with what is trendy, you sure are depressed. Popular and easy-going. You have a little group of dignified friends,all of them being quality-personified.
If you are a Mouse: Always up to some sort of a mischief! The mischievous gleam in your eyes is what makes you so cute and attractive to everyone. You are an extremely fun-to-be-with kind of person. No wonder, people seek for your company and look forward to include you for all get-togethers. However, you are sensitive, which is a drawback. People need to select their words while talking to you. If someone tries to fiddle around and play with words while dealing with you, it is enough to invite your wrath. God bless the person then!
If you are a Lion: Quite contradictory to your name, you are a peace loving person. You best try to avoid a situation wherein you are required to fight. An outdoor person, you dislike sitting at one place for a long duration. You are a born leader, and have it in you how to tactfully derive work from people. You love being loved, and when you receive your share of limelight from someone, you are all theirs!!!! Well, well... hence some people could even take an advantage, flatter you to the maximum and get their work done. So be careful.....
If you are a Cat: An extremely lovable, adorable person, sometimes shy,with a passion for quick wit. At times, you prefer quietness. You love exploring various things and going into depth of each thing. Under normal circumstances you're cool, when given a reason to, you are like a volcano waiting to erupt. You're a fashion bird. People look forward to you as an icon associated with fashion. Basically, you mingle along freely but don't like talking much to strangers. People feel very easy in your company. You observe care in choosing your friends.
If you are a Turtle: You are near to perfect and nice at heart.The examples of your kindness are always circulated in groups of people.You, too, love peace. You wouldn't like to retaliate even to a person who is in the wrong. You are loved due to this. You do not wish to talk behind one's back. People love the way you always treat them. You can give, give and give love, and the best part is that you do not expect it back in return.You are generous enough.Seeing things in a practical light is what remains the best trait of you guys.
If you are a Dove: You symbolize a very happy-go-lucky approach in life.Whatever the surroundings may be, grim or cheerful, you remain unaffected. In fact, you spread cheer wherever you go. You are the leader of your group of friends and good at consoling people in their times of need. You dislike hypocrisy and tend to shirk away from hypocrites. They can never be in your good books, no matter what. You are very methodical and organized in your work. No amount of mess, hence, can ever encompass you. Beware, it is easy for you to fall in love....
If you are a Panther: You are mysterious. You are someone who can handle pressure with ease, and can handle any atmosphere without going berserk.You can be mean at times, and love to gossip with your selected group.Very prim and proper. You like all situations and things to be in the way you desire, which, sometimes is not possible. As a result, you may lose out in some relationships. But otherwise, you love to help people out from difficult and tight spots when they really need you.
If you are a Monkey: Very impatient and hyper!!! You want things to be done as quick as possible. At heart, you are quite simple and love if you are the center of attraction. That way, you people are unique. You would like to keep yourself safe from all the angles. Shall your name be dragged or featured in any sort of a controversy, you then go all panicky. Therefore, you take your precautions from the very beginning. When you foresee anything wrong, your sixth sense is what saves you from falling in traps. Quite a money minded bunch you people are!!
You're never too old to be young
You can be just thirty-four and over the hill,
Or eighty-five going on twenty-nine!
The young-at-heart don't care about years;
They know age is only a state of mind!
Light a candle (Copyright by Pick Yin)
You're never too old to be young,
So make love and laughter part of the plan;
The best thing in life is to die young
As old as you possibly can!
Or eighty-five going on twenty-nine!
The young-at-heart don't care about years;
They know age is only a state of mind!
Light a candle (Copyright by Pick Yin)
You're never too old to be young,
So make love and laughter part of the plan;
The best thing in life is to die young
As old as you possibly can!
34 going on 24
My mom said I was born around dinner time - after 18 hours of labor and 10 days overdue - I was stubborn even as a foetus. I surely gave her a hard time at birth and she's had to miss so many meals in a day to deliver me. Not to mention the excrutiating pain, as she puts it in her words!
Gee, mothers are really good at pulling the guilt trip - and it's the most difficult thing to say no to your mom. Complain not, though, for you only have one mom [biological, that is] so she is irreplaceable. You can change spouses many times over in a lifetime - but your mom stays your mom forever.
Anyways, tonight, I turn 24 plus 10 - in denial of being this old :)
I celebrated my birthday with a modest nasi kandar dinner in Pelita Nasi Kandar in Penang. We couldn't find Nasi Kandar Kayu, and it was time for breaking fast, so no time to go around Penang looking for the supposedly the best nasi kandar on the island, and it was raining to be dining al fresco at the hawkers centres at Padang Kota or Gurney Drive. But the food at Pelita Nasi Kandar was good nonetheless.
We were in Penang to visit Auntie Buang who had a surgery on Friday to remove a malignant lump in her left breast.
Gee, mothers are really good at pulling the guilt trip - and it's the most difficult thing to say no to your mom. Complain not, though, for you only have one mom [biological, that is] so she is irreplaceable. You can change spouses many times over in a lifetime - but your mom stays your mom forever.
Anyways, tonight, I turn 24 plus 10 - in denial of being this old :)
I celebrated my birthday with a modest nasi kandar dinner in Pelita Nasi Kandar in Penang. We couldn't find Nasi Kandar Kayu, and it was time for breaking fast, so no time to go around Penang looking for the supposedly the best nasi kandar on the island, and it was raining to be dining al fresco at the hawkers centres at Padang Kota or Gurney Drive. But the food at Pelita Nasi Kandar was good nonetheless.
We were in Penang to visit Auntie Buang who had a surgery on Friday to remove a malignant lump in her left breast.
Monday, November 01, 2004
Satria GTI Road Tour
Today, my horoscope said: "Have you been planning to travel, Naliza? You might receive word that your trip has to be postponed, which could be a real disappointment. However, bear in mind that this is only a delay, not a denial. All signs are that you will make that trip, so don't panic. Think of it as more time in which to prepare - for you'll want to be thoroughly ready before you go. Enjoy your day."
The recent bombing in Yala and the military holocaust in Southern Thailand have grave causes for concern for me for the last couple of days. Jack, Jida and I have signed up and paid deposit for the Satria GTI Road Tour which will see about 30 cars travelling in a convoy from Kuala Lumpur to Haadyai and Koh Samui and back to Haadyai and Kuala Lumpur. According to the organisers, we will be escorted by police entourage at every state that we pass through, both in Malaysia and in Thailand. It'll be an experience one can't miss - it may even be historical.
The road tour was planned for December 16-21, so I hope things will be safe there by end of November. Especially when an editor was telling me on Friday night, during our media "buka puasa" get together, "The Thai police is not one you can count on to give you good treatment - you expect them to escort you?"
I'm thinking...should I pull out now or wait and see?
The recent bombing in Yala and the military holocaust in Southern Thailand have grave causes for concern for me for the last couple of days. Jack, Jida and I have signed up and paid deposit for the Satria GTI Road Tour which will see about 30 cars travelling in a convoy from Kuala Lumpur to Haadyai and Koh Samui and back to Haadyai and Kuala Lumpur. According to the organisers, we will be escorted by police entourage at every state that we pass through, both in Malaysia and in Thailand. It'll be an experience one can't miss - it may even be historical.
The road tour was planned for December 16-21, so I hope things will be safe there by end of November. Especially when an editor was telling me on Friday night, during our media "buka puasa" get together, "The Thai police is not one you can count on to give you good treatment - you expect them to escort you?"
I'm thinking...should I pull out now or wait and see?
When you arise in the morning
Shawnee Chief, Tecumseh said: "When you arise in the morning, give thanks for the morning light, for your life and strength. Give thanks for your food, and the joy of living. If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies with yourself."
Even for the very trying time I went through in the past two years after The Ex Hubby left -I was hurt, alone and not to mention, broke too. They say, adversity introduces a man to himself. Or a woman to herself, in my case.
After the rain has stopped, things do get get much easier for me now. I no longer feel as though I am walking through an overgrown jungle to make anything happen.
Even for the very trying time I went through in the past two years after The Ex Hubby left -I was hurt, alone and not to mention, broke too. They say, adversity introduces a man to himself. Or a woman to herself, in my case.
After the rain has stopped, things do get get much easier for me now. I no longer feel as though I am walking through an overgrown jungle to make anything happen.
Saturday, October 30, 2004
As good as it gets...
I had Teh Tarik with my journalist friend Bumper-To-Bumper at Mutiara Bangsar's Happening Mamak. She always has spicy stories to tell.
After my Teh Tarik with Bumper-To-Bumper and her colleague, I went to The Croppes in Bangsar, to do my hair. Felix is one of the few hairdressers I know who handles natural curls wonderfully. Not many hairdressers know how to handle my natural curls. My hair has a mind of its own. That's why I always go to him.
With my new coiffeur, I feel like going to some place to be seen. So I sat at The Strudels just across the street and sipped on my Vanilla Latte and Mango Tart. Mmmmmm delicious!
Suddenly, Medicine Man, my jealous ex-boyfriend called and wanted me to wait for him until he comes. While waiting, Leslean, Bernama's Klang Bureau Chief appeared and together with her friend, Izzaty, a journalist with The Star joined me for drinks. Girls Talk.
When Medicine Man appeared, I excused myself and joined him at Mahbub's. We had a long discussion about our situation. He can't trust me, and want to take time to do that. But he also wanted a cooling off period until January next year, and if we are still available then, we should reconsider marriage.
I said nothing. It doesn't make sense to me at all. Why is it so difficult to trust me. His ex-wife may be unfaithful, but why shouldn't he forget the past, move on, and realise that I am not like that. So, I told him, we are only friends. I don't want a cooling off period. Three break-ups in so short a time are more than I can handle. This is as good as it gets...
It is nicer to have someone who is hopeless in love with you, rather than being hopelessly in love with someone, and it is not what you hoped for it to be. Tell me, is it worth the emotional pain?
After my Teh Tarik with Bumper-To-Bumper and her colleague, I went to The Croppes in Bangsar, to do my hair. Felix is one of the few hairdressers I know who handles natural curls wonderfully. Not many hairdressers know how to handle my natural curls. My hair has a mind of its own. That's why I always go to him.
With my new coiffeur, I feel like going to some place to be seen. So I sat at The Strudels just across the street and sipped on my Vanilla Latte and Mango Tart. Mmmmmm delicious!
Suddenly, Medicine Man, my jealous ex-boyfriend called and wanted me to wait for him until he comes. While waiting, Leslean, Bernama's Klang Bureau Chief appeared and together with her friend, Izzaty, a journalist with The Star joined me for drinks. Girls Talk.
When Medicine Man appeared, I excused myself and joined him at Mahbub's. We had a long discussion about our situation. He can't trust me, and want to take time to do that. But he also wanted a cooling off period until January next year, and if we are still available then, we should reconsider marriage.
I said nothing. It doesn't make sense to me at all. Why is it so difficult to trust me. His ex-wife may be unfaithful, but why shouldn't he forget the past, move on, and realise that I am not like that. So, I told him, we are only friends. I don't want a cooling off period. Three break-ups in so short a time are more than I can handle. This is as good as it gets...
It is nicer to have someone who is hopeless in love with you, rather than being hopelessly in love with someone, and it is not what you hoped for it to be. Tell me, is it worth the emotional pain?
Thursday, October 28, 2004
The Old Farmer and His Donkey
I gave my third speech from the story telling manual / advanced communication & leadership manual at Promuda Toastmasters Club Meeting tonight.
My speech was called "The Old Farmer and His Donkey":
One day The Old Farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.
He invited all his neighbours to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, The Donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.
A few shovel loads later, The Old Farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, The Donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.
As The Old Farmer's neighbours continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as The Donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.
Anyways, the next day, The Old Farmer, His Son, and The Donkey were going to town. The Son rode on The Donkey and The Old Farmer walked.
As they went along they passed some people who remarked it was a shame the old man was walking and the boy was riding. The Old Farmer and His Son thought maybe the critics were right, so they changed positions.
Later, they passed some people that remarked, "What a shame, he makes that little boy walk." They then decided they both would walk!
Soon they passed some more people who thought they were stupid to walk when they had a decent donkey to ride. So, they both rode The Donkey.
Now they passed some people that shamed them by saying how awful to put such a load on a poor donkey. The Old Farmer and His Son, said they were probably right, so they decided to carry The Donkey.
As they crossed the bridge, they lost their grip on the animal and he fell into the river and drowned.
The moral of the story:
If you try to please everyone, you might as well kiss your ass good-bye!
My speech was called "The Old Farmer and His Donkey":
One day The Old Farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.
He invited all his neighbours to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, The Donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.
A few shovel loads later, The Old Farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, The Donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.
As The Old Farmer's neighbours continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as The Donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.
Anyways, the next day, The Old Farmer, His Son, and The Donkey were going to town. The Son rode on The Donkey and The Old Farmer walked.
As they went along they passed some people who remarked it was a shame the old man was walking and the boy was riding. The Old Farmer and His Son thought maybe the critics were right, so they changed positions.
Later, they passed some people that remarked, "What a shame, he makes that little boy walk." They then decided they both would walk!
Soon they passed some more people who thought they were stupid to walk when they had a decent donkey to ride. So, they both rode The Donkey.
Now they passed some people that shamed them by saying how awful to put such a load on a poor donkey. The Old Farmer and His Son, said they were probably right, so they decided to carry The Donkey.
As they crossed the bridge, they lost their grip on the animal and he fell into the river and drowned.
The moral of the story:
If you try to please everyone, you might as well kiss your ass good-bye!
Wednesday, October 27, 2004
What dreams may come
They say dreams are powerful; so I believe it is worth keeping a journal of the ones that seem to contain a message. For the past three weeks, I've been having a series of dreams that if I would write a script, it would be a soap opera in the making. This soap opera would be called "I Dream of Tahir" - The Ex Hubby.
Last night, I dreamt of having Sahur with him, cooking his favorite food, my gourmet scrambled eggs with smoked salmon and chives. He would tell me I am an excellent cook and he would want seconds or thirds. Like the old days when we were happy together. I miss that. He still lives in the back of my mind and in the corner of my heart. How can you suddenly stop loving someone you have loved for almost 15 years? Which is why I've never really understood why did he changed so suddenly - I still haven't solved the puzzle. Worse, we never had a closure - and the feeling of something undone is very unsettling. If he talks to me at least, I'd feel better and will understand.
I believe that true love never dies, just like an energy - it just evolves. Means, even if I'm not romantically in love with him, I would still love him in other ways. I wish we're friends and that he would open up to me - as friends would.
Last night, I dreamt of having Sahur with him, cooking his favorite food, my gourmet scrambled eggs with smoked salmon and chives. He would tell me I am an excellent cook and he would want seconds or thirds. Like the old days when we were happy together. I miss that. He still lives in the back of my mind and in the corner of my heart. How can you suddenly stop loving someone you have loved for almost 15 years? Which is why I've never really understood why did he changed so suddenly - I still haven't solved the puzzle. Worse, we never had a closure - and the feeling of something undone is very unsettling. If he talks to me at least, I'd feel better and will understand.
I believe that true love never dies, just like an energy - it just evolves. Means, even if I'm not romantically in love with him, I would still love him in other ways. I wish we're friends and that he would open up to me - as friends would.
The only thing that is constant
Just over a week shy from turning 34, I felt it's time to reflect on my life so far. Graphically speaking, my life comprises a series of constant changes, on different Richter scales. They say, "the only thing that is constant is change itself," and this really epitomises my life especially since the turn of the new millenium.
But I am not complaining. I've never like to settle down or like to stick to a routine life anyways - I am a "squiggle". If change doesn't come to me, I'll seek it, with a thirst - because I need it every now and then. Maybe it's the "phoenix rising" in my birth star that influences me.
Being a romantic and an idealist, I like new beginnings as much as I like happy endings. But I believe, the experiences sandwiched in between the loaf are what count most. They shape who and what we were yesterday, have become today and are to become tomorow. It is the journey that makes life interesting, not the destination. We all know where we are going at the end of the day - going six feet under is inevitable for the mortals. But we are here now - so we make the most of our days.
But I am not complaining. I've never like to settle down or like to stick to a routine life anyways - I am a "squiggle". If change doesn't come to me, I'll seek it, with a thirst - because I need it every now and then. Maybe it's the "phoenix rising" in my birth star that influences me.
Being a romantic and an idealist, I like new beginnings as much as I like happy endings. But I believe, the experiences sandwiched in between the loaf are what count most. They shape who and what we were yesterday, have become today and are to become tomorow. It is the journey that makes life interesting, not the destination. We all know where we are going at the end of the day - going six feet under is inevitable for the mortals. But we are here now - so we make the most of our days.
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
Pantun Melayu Moden
Buah cempedak di luar pagar
Ambil galah tolong jolokkan
Kenapa kau nak jolok pakai galah
Sebab cempedak tu dah jatuh kat luar pagar ..
Kalau ada sumur di ladang
Bolehlah hamba menumpang mandi
Patutlah bau badan kau busuk semacam
Bilik air ada, buat apa kau mandi kat ladang..
Pisang emas dibawa berlayar
Masak sebiji di atas peti
Kat pasaraya tak ada hutang hutang
Kalau nak, bayar, 'Cash On Delivery'.
Kalau ada jarum yang patah
Jangan di simpan di dalam peti
Kesian betul dengan kau ni
Jarum patah pun kau simpan dalam peti..
Dua tiga kucing berlari
Mana nak sama si kucing belang
Kalau kau berani kejarlah kucing tu
Mesti kau kena cakar sampai berbelang- belang gak..
Kajang Pak Malau kajang berlipat
Kajang hamba mengkuang layu
Kain Pak Malau, Mak Limah yang lipat
Kain aku, si pencuri yang sapu.
Rumah Pak Mamat di tepi sawah
Pakai langsir berwarna biru
Ooi Pak Mat, langsir warna biru tak lawa lah
Pakailah warna kuning ke, hijau ke, kelabu asap ke..
Air pasang dalam surut pukul lima
Nyonya bangun pagi siram pokok bunga
Haloo nyonya, mau tanya sikit
Siram pokok bunga aje, tak jual sayur ka?
Tuai padi antara masak
Esok jangan layu-layuan
Kalau padi tu belumlah masak
Janganlah tuai, taklah layu-layuan...
Limau purut masak di dahan
Batang selasih condong uratnya
Limau purut tak boleh makan
Nanti sakit perut apa ubatnya..
Pulau Pandan jauh ke tengah
Gunung Daik bercabang tiga
Buat apa nak ke Pulau Pandan yang jauh tu
Pergi aje ke Kampung Pandan.
Sorong papan tarik padan
Buah keranji dalam perahu
Tolonglah jangan makan buah keranji tu
Nanti badan kau orang berbau..
Hayya Cik Siti, perempuan banyak muda
Ana banyak takut jalan tutup mata
Memanglah takut kalau jalan tutup mata
Sebab takut terpijak lubang 'Indah Water'.
Encik Baba jatuh dalam parit
Cik Aminah ketawa jerit jerit
Sampai hati Cik Aminah ketawakan saya jerit-jerit
Mentang-mentanglah saya jatuh dalam parit.
Buai laju laju
Sampai pokok sena
Woii, jangan buai laju-laju
Nanti kang tercampak kat pokok sena.
Timang tinggi-tinggi
Sampai cucur atap
Cucur atap tak sedap
Cucuk pisang, cucur udang, haaa tu sedap.
Ambil galah tolong jolokkan
Kenapa kau nak jolok pakai galah
Sebab cempedak tu dah jatuh kat luar pagar ..
Kalau ada sumur di ladang
Bolehlah hamba menumpang mandi
Patutlah bau badan kau busuk semacam
Bilik air ada, buat apa kau mandi kat ladang..
Pisang emas dibawa berlayar
Masak sebiji di atas peti
Kat pasaraya tak ada hutang hutang
Kalau nak, bayar, 'Cash On Delivery'.
Kalau ada jarum yang patah
Jangan di simpan di dalam peti
Kesian betul dengan kau ni
Jarum patah pun kau simpan dalam peti..
Dua tiga kucing berlari
Mana nak sama si kucing belang
Kalau kau berani kejarlah kucing tu
Mesti kau kena cakar sampai berbelang- belang gak..
Kajang Pak Malau kajang berlipat
Kajang hamba mengkuang layu
Kain Pak Malau, Mak Limah yang lipat
Kain aku, si pencuri yang sapu.
Rumah Pak Mamat di tepi sawah
Pakai langsir berwarna biru
Ooi Pak Mat, langsir warna biru tak lawa lah
Pakailah warna kuning ke, hijau ke, kelabu asap ke..
Air pasang dalam surut pukul lima
Nyonya bangun pagi siram pokok bunga
Haloo nyonya, mau tanya sikit
Siram pokok bunga aje, tak jual sayur ka?
Tuai padi antara masak
Esok jangan layu-layuan
Kalau padi tu belumlah masak
Janganlah tuai, taklah layu-layuan...
Limau purut masak di dahan
Batang selasih condong uratnya
Limau purut tak boleh makan
Nanti sakit perut apa ubatnya..
Pulau Pandan jauh ke tengah
Gunung Daik bercabang tiga
Buat apa nak ke Pulau Pandan yang jauh tu
Pergi aje ke Kampung Pandan.
Sorong papan tarik padan
Buah keranji dalam perahu
Tolonglah jangan makan buah keranji tu
Nanti badan kau orang berbau..
Hayya Cik Siti, perempuan banyak muda
Ana banyak takut jalan tutup mata
Memanglah takut kalau jalan tutup mata
Sebab takut terpijak lubang 'Indah Water'.
Encik Baba jatuh dalam parit
Cik Aminah ketawa jerit jerit
Sampai hati Cik Aminah ketawakan saya jerit-jerit
Mentang-mentanglah saya jatuh dalam parit.
Buai laju laju
Sampai pokok sena
Woii, jangan buai laju-laju
Nanti kang tercampak kat pokok sena.
Timang tinggi-tinggi
Sampai cucur atap
Cucur atap tak sedap
Cucuk pisang, cucur udang, haaa tu sedap.
Monday, October 11, 2004
Sans Prejudis
I must say that I enjoy reading every comment posted by The Mutt on my blog. For a 17-year old, he does have a lot on his mind. If not for the Algebra and Trigonometry that he talks about, I would wonder if he's lying about his age :)
Yesterday, he commented on my post on "A Disgusted White Girl vs Malay Girls," saying that he likes my closing remark on that post, which said, "As a citizen of a multi-racial country and a citizen of the world, I do not have racial prejudices in choosing my friends or candidate for a life partner. My discrimination is in choosing friends with positive attitudes and admirable characters. I also believe that Men, must also possess admirable virtues to get a Virtuous Woman. You must deserve her. Virtuous Men begets Virtuous Women."
He also said: "I knew there were more people in the real world (the world that is changing), people that have values, have gone through test and trial to achieve understanding as to what makes a partner truly valuable. I am sickened to be white because of not only the work of my ancestors but also at my distant American / Canadian cousins who constantly look at themselves in the social mirror. But on the other hand, I know a few americans / canadians that remind me that being racist against my own ethnic group and opening my arms to other ethnic groups is something related to hypocrisy, or at least double-standards."
What I find interesting in his point is the hypocrisy in opening one's arms to other ethnic groups, but in doing that one creates double standards to be seen as racially unprejudiced. Let me illustrate what I mean. Say, a white man, in overcoming his prejudice against coloured people, will be extra nice to them, and in doing so will be less nice to his own people. Something like what Affirmative Action has done. Thus, in creating double standards, he discriminate his own kind.
no prejudice
I believe what should have been in the first place, is, to avoid creating double standards. Treat another person of a different race as you would your own race - treat everyone as equals. In being kind to other races, we cannot be less kind to our own. In being open to other cultures, we cannot be less proud of our own.
If at all you need or want to treat him or her differently, it is only because of the differences in the cultural expectations. Because, in trying to understand another's culture, you cannot think and feel in your own culture. More importantly, we cannot impose our culture on others - that would be colonialism. Especially so when you are in a foreign land, because you are the foreigner in another's country.
Yesterday, he commented on my post on "A Disgusted White Girl vs Malay Girls," saying that he likes my closing remark on that post, which said, "As a citizen of a multi-racial country and a citizen of the world, I do not have racial prejudices in choosing my friends or candidate for a life partner. My discrimination is in choosing friends with positive attitudes and admirable characters. I also believe that Men, must also possess admirable virtues to get a Virtuous Woman. You must deserve her. Virtuous Men begets Virtuous Women."
He also said: "I knew there were more people in the real world (the world that is changing), people that have values, have gone through test and trial to achieve understanding as to what makes a partner truly valuable. I am sickened to be white because of not only the work of my ancestors but also at my distant American / Canadian cousins who constantly look at themselves in the social mirror. But on the other hand, I know a few americans / canadians that remind me that being racist against my own ethnic group and opening my arms to other ethnic groups is something related to hypocrisy, or at least double-standards."
What I find interesting in his point is the hypocrisy in opening one's arms to other ethnic groups, but in doing that one creates double standards to be seen as racially unprejudiced. Let me illustrate what I mean. Say, a white man, in overcoming his prejudice against coloured people, will be extra nice to them, and in doing so will be less nice to his own people. Something like what Affirmative Action has done. Thus, in creating double standards, he discriminate his own kind.
no prejudice
I believe what should have been in the first place, is, to avoid creating double standards. Treat another person of a different race as you would your own race - treat everyone as equals. In being kind to other races, we cannot be less kind to our own. In being open to other cultures, we cannot be less proud of our own.
If at all you need or want to treat him or her differently, it is only because of the differences in the cultural expectations. Because, in trying to understand another's culture, you cannot think and feel in your own culture. More importantly, we cannot impose our culture on others - that would be colonialism. Especially so when you are in a foreign land, because you are the foreigner in another's country.
Sunday, October 10, 2004
Meet Brad...
After over a year of contemplating whether I should get a new car, I finally got my new car this afternoon. My decision to finally to buy a new car now and not later was mainly driven by the fact that my old Proton Wira Aeroback 1.3M held so many bitter memories with Medicine Man.
Not only that, he dented my steering wheel cap and refused to replace it, saying what he spent on my diamond jewelry should more than cover the damage to my car. Gosh, how uncouth! So un-gentlemanly. The diamond chain, pendant and ear studs were my birthday present.
My new car is a new chapter in my life - it's a sleek black Hyundai Getz 1.6GL which I paid RM71,800 for. Being a spend thrift, it's the most expensive car I ever owned. I don't believe in spending too much on my car because I'd rather have ready cash in hand. At least I'd have the financial flexibility to pursue things that I like, such as traveling, shopping, dining out, and have enough money to save and invest. Buying another property wouldn't be such a bad idea...
Anyways, I've decided that my car should be a MALE, because it's sporty, solid and masculine. I hate cars that are too feminine. I've named him BRAD, after Brad Pitt, my ideal sexy male. Gosh he's so yummy...and I'm taking BRAD for a ride everyday :)
Not only that, he dented my steering wheel cap and refused to replace it, saying what he spent on my diamond jewelry should more than cover the damage to my car. Gosh, how uncouth! So un-gentlemanly. The diamond chain, pendant and ear studs were my birthday present.
My new car is a new chapter in my life - it's a sleek black Hyundai Getz 1.6GL which I paid RM71,800 for. Being a spend thrift, it's the most expensive car I ever owned. I don't believe in spending too much on my car because I'd rather have ready cash in hand. At least I'd have the financial flexibility to pursue things that I like, such as traveling, shopping, dining out, and have enough money to save and invest. Buying another property wouldn't be such a bad idea...
Anyways, I've decided that my car should be a MALE, because it's sporty, solid and masculine. I hate cars that are too feminine. I've named him BRAD, after Brad Pitt, my ideal sexy male. Gosh he's so yummy...and I'm taking BRAD for a ride everyday :)
Tuesday, October 05, 2004
Pinnochio Effect
When C. Collodi wrote "The Adventures of Pinocchio", he was not kidding about the fact that Pinocchio's nose actually grew longer. The author did actually do his homework, well, either that or it is a serendipity.
Do you know that it is a fact that one's nose can actually enlarge when the person is intentionally lying - I mean "The Malicious Lie" as opposed to "The White Lie".
To prove my point, I would like to share with you an interesting fact that I have learned from the book I'm reading right now, "The Definitive Book of Body Language" by Barbara & Allan Pease.
According to Barbara & Allan Pease, Scientists at the Smell & Taste Treatment & Research Foundation in Chicago found that when ones lies, chemicals known as catecholamines are released, causing tissue inside the nose to swell. They even used special cameras that show blood flow in the body to reveal that intentional lying also causes an increase in blood pressure. This technology indicates that the human nose actually expands when a person is lying - this is known as the "Pinnochio Effect".
Increased blood pressure inflates the nose and causes the nerve endings in the nose to tingle, resulting in brisk rubbing action to the nose with the hand to "satisfy" the "itch". So be wary if someone touches his nose so often (save for sinuses and allergies, of course!) when having a conversation with you.
Ah hah! Another give away - do you know that a man's penis also swells with blood when he tells a lie? Hehehe...as the authors suggested, maybe the Grand Jury should have pulled Bill's trousers down instead!
Do you know that it is a fact that one's nose can actually enlarge when the person is intentionally lying - I mean "The Malicious Lie" as opposed to "The White Lie".
To prove my point, I would like to share with you an interesting fact that I have learned from the book I'm reading right now, "The Definitive Book of Body Language" by Barbara & Allan Pease.
According to Barbara & Allan Pease, Scientists at the Smell & Taste Treatment & Research Foundation in Chicago found that when ones lies, chemicals known as catecholamines are released, causing tissue inside the nose to swell. They even used special cameras that show blood flow in the body to reveal that intentional lying also causes an increase in blood pressure. This technology indicates that the human nose actually expands when a person is lying - this is known as the "Pinnochio Effect".
Increased blood pressure inflates the nose and causes the nerve endings in the nose to tingle, resulting in brisk rubbing action to the nose with the hand to "satisfy" the "itch". So be wary if someone touches his nose so often (save for sinuses and allergies, of course!) when having a conversation with you.
Ah hah! Another give away - do you know that a man's penis also swells with blood when he tells a lie? Hehehe...as the authors suggested, maybe the Grand Jury should have pulled Bill's trousers down instead!
Wednesday, September 29, 2004
A Disgusted White Girl vs. Malay Girls
A friend of mine forwarded the "Letter to the Editor" below and also a response from one of the readers. I find the whole thing hilarious.
Just to give you a bit of a background to the article, the letter was written by an American White Female living in Bangsar, one of the most affluent suburban areas in Kuala Lumpur..
- Begin -
Dear Editor:
I'm sorry but I would like to challenge some of your Malay male readers. I am a White female who is engaged to a Malay male-good-looking, educated and loving. I just don't understand a lot of Malay female's attitudes about our relationship. My man decided he wanted me because the pickings amongst Malay women were slim to none. As he said they were either too fat, too loud, too mean, too argumentative, too needy, too materialistic or carrying too much excess baggage.
Before I became engaged, whenever I went out I was constantly approached by Malay men, willing to wine and dine me and give me the world.
If Malay women are so up in arms about us being with their men, why don't they look at themselves and make some changes. I am tired of the dirty looks I get and snide remarks when we're out in public. I would like to hear from some Malay men about why we are so appealing and coveted by them.
Bryant Gumbel just left his wife of 26 years for one of us. Charles Barkley, Scottie Pippen, the model Tyson Beckford, Montell Williams, Quincy Jones, James Earl Jones, Harry Belafonte, Sydney Poitier, Kofi Anan, Cuba Gooding Jr., Don Cornelius, Berry Gordy, Billy Blanks, Larry Fishburne, Wesley Snipes...I could go on and on.
But, right now, I'm a little angry and that is why I wrote this so hurriedly.
Don't be mad with us White women because so many of your men want us.
Get your acts together and learn from us and we may lead you to treat your men better. If I'm wrong, Malay men, let me know.
Disgusted White Girl,
Somewhere in Bangsar
Read On.............
This letter was written in response to the article:
Response:
Dear Editor:
I would like to respond to the letter written by A Disgusted White Girl.
Let me start by saying that I am a 28-year old Malay man. I graduated from one of the most prestigious universities in England with a Masters Of Science Degree in Business Management. I have a good job at a Multinational Corporation and have recently purchased a house and a brand new non-national car. So, I consider myself to be among the ranks of successful Malay men.
I will not use my precious time to slander white people. I just want to set the record straight of why Malay men date white women. Back in those days, one of the biggest reasons why Malay men dated white women was because they were considered easy. The Malay girls in my neighborhood were raised traditionally. They were very strict about when they lost their virginity and who they lost it to.
Because of our impatience to wait, my brothers would look for someone who would give it up easy without too much hassle. So, they turned to the white girls.
Nowadays, in my opinion, a lot of Malay males date white women because they are docile and easy to control. A lot of Malay men, because of insecurities, fears, and overall weaknesses, have become intimidated by the strength of our Malay women.
We are afraid that our woman will be more successful than us, make more money than us, drive nicer cars and own bigger houses. Because of this fear, many Malay men look for a more docile woman. Someone we can control. I have talked to numerous Malay men and they continuously comment on how easy it is to control and walk over their white women.
I just want to set the record straight. I want A Disgusted White Girl to know that not all successful Malay men date white women.
Non-Whites like Ahmad Rashad, Denzel Washington, Michael Jordan, Morris Chestn!ut, Will Smith, Blair Underwood, Kenneth "Babyface" Edmonds, Samuel L. Jackson, and Chris Rock all married strong Non-White women. And, to flip the script, there are numerous white men, in and out of the spot light, who openly or secretly desire Non-White women over white women. Ted Danson, Robert DeNiro, and David Bowie to name a few.
I just don't want a disgusted white girl to be misinformed. Stop thinking that because you are white that you are some type of goddess.
Remember, when Non-White Egyptian Queens like Hatsepshut and Nitorcris were ruling Dynasties and armies of men in Egypt, you were over in the caves of Europe eating raw meat and beating each other over the head with clubs.
Read your history! It was the Non-White woman that taught you how to cook and season your food. It was the Non-White woman that taught you how to raise your children.
It was Non-White women who were breastfeeding and raising your babies during slavery. It is the Non-White woman that had to endure watching their fathers, husbands, and children beaten, killed, and thrown in jail.
Malay women were born with two strikes against them: being Non-White and being a woman. And, through all this, Still They Rise! It is because of the Malay women's strength, elegance, power, love and beauty that I could never date anyone except my Malay Queen.
It is not just the outer beauty that captivates and draws me to them. It is not the fact that they come in all shapes, sizes, colours and shades that I love them.
Their inner beauty is what I find most appealing about Malay women. Their strong spirit, loving and nurturing souls, their integrity, their ability to overcome great obstacles, their willingness to stand for what they believe in, and their determination to succeed and reach their highest potential while enduring great pain and suffering is why I have fallen in love with Malay women.
I honestly believe that your anger is geared more toward jealousy and envy than snotty looks.
If this were not so, then why do you continuously go to tanning salons to darken your skin? If you are so proud to be white, then why don't you just be happy with your pale skin? Why do you continue to inject your lips, hips, and breasts with unnatural and dangerous substances so you can look fuller and more voluptuous?
I think that your anger is really a result of you wanting to have what the Non-White woman has.
BOTTOM LINE: If I were looking for a docile woman, someone I can walk over and control, I would give you a call. But, unfortunately, I am looking for a Virtuous Woman. Someone that can be a good wife and mother to my children, Someone who can be my best friend and understands my struggles. I am looking for a soul mate and; unfortunately, you do not and CANNOT fit the bill.
No offense taken, none given.
Signed,
Malay Professional
- End -
Nel says: To my girlfriends, guy friends, Bloggers and readers in Malaysia or are familiar with the Malays and Malaysian culture, what do you think of the reader's response?
Nel thinks: Bravo, I would look up to a guy like this. I am so taken by his response and intellect. I would like him for myself, if I do meet someone like this Malay Professional. His Virtuous Woman must the luckiest woman, at least on the Malaysian soil, if not Planet Earth.
Nevertheless, just like Anne Frank, I keep my ideals, because in spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart. To be fair, all things being equal, I am sure that every woman of every race has her own strengths and weaknesses. No one is entirely good or entirely bad. Belonging to a race makes all of us ethnocentrics. But it is not wise to "devalue" another race or human being for the sake of being ethnocentric or patriotic.
For me, I am proud to be a Malay Woman. Well, Half Malay, Half Chinese. Malaysian!
As a citizen of a multi-racial country and a citizen of the world, I do not have racial prejudices in choosing my friends or candidate for a life partner. My discrimination is in choosing friends with positive attitudes and admirable characters. I also believe that Men, must also possess admirable virtues to get a Virtuous Woman. You must deserve her. Virtuous Men begets Virtuous Women.
Just to give you a bit of a background to the article, the letter was written by an American White Female living in Bangsar, one of the most affluent suburban areas in Kuala Lumpur..
- Begin -
Dear Editor:
I'm sorry but I would like to challenge some of your Malay male readers. I am a White female who is engaged to a Malay male-good-looking, educated and loving. I just don't understand a lot of Malay female's attitudes about our relationship. My man decided he wanted me because the pickings amongst Malay women were slim to none. As he said they were either too fat, too loud, too mean, too argumentative, too needy, too materialistic or carrying too much excess baggage.
Before I became engaged, whenever I went out I was constantly approached by Malay men, willing to wine and dine me and give me the world.
If Malay women are so up in arms about us being with their men, why don't they look at themselves and make some changes. I am tired of the dirty looks I get and snide remarks when we're out in public. I would like to hear from some Malay men about why we are so appealing and coveted by them.
Bryant Gumbel just left his wife of 26 years for one of us. Charles Barkley, Scottie Pippen, the model Tyson Beckford, Montell Williams, Quincy Jones, James Earl Jones, Harry Belafonte, Sydney Poitier, Kofi Anan, Cuba Gooding Jr., Don Cornelius, Berry Gordy, Billy Blanks, Larry Fishburne, Wesley Snipes...I could go on and on.
But, right now, I'm a little angry and that is why I wrote this so hurriedly.
Don't be mad with us White women because so many of your men want us.
Get your acts together and learn from us and we may lead you to treat your men better. If I'm wrong, Malay men, let me know.
Disgusted White Girl,
Somewhere in Bangsar
Read On.............
This letter was written in response to the article:
Response:
Dear Editor:
I would like to respond to the letter written by A Disgusted White Girl.
Let me start by saying that I am a 28-year old Malay man. I graduated from one of the most prestigious universities in England with a Masters Of Science Degree in Business Management. I have a good job at a Multinational Corporation and have recently purchased a house and a brand new non-national car. So, I consider myself to be among the ranks of successful Malay men.
I will not use my precious time to slander white people. I just want to set the record straight of why Malay men date white women. Back in those days, one of the biggest reasons why Malay men dated white women was because they were considered easy. The Malay girls in my neighborhood were raised traditionally. They were very strict about when they lost their virginity and who they lost it to.
Because of our impatience to wait, my brothers would look for someone who would give it up easy without too much hassle. So, they turned to the white girls.
Nowadays, in my opinion, a lot of Malay males date white women because they are docile and easy to control. A lot of Malay men, because of insecurities, fears, and overall weaknesses, have become intimidated by the strength of our Malay women.
We are afraid that our woman will be more successful than us, make more money than us, drive nicer cars and own bigger houses. Because of this fear, many Malay men look for a more docile woman. Someone we can control. I have talked to numerous Malay men and they continuously comment on how easy it is to control and walk over their white women.
I just want to set the record straight. I want A Disgusted White Girl to know that not all successful Malay men date white women.
Non-Whites like Ahmad Rashad, Denzel Washington, Michael Jordan, Morris Chestn!ut, Will Smith, Blair Underwood, Kenneth "Babyface" Edmonds, Samuel L. Jackson, and Chris Rock all married strong Non-White women. And, to flip the script, there are numerous white men, in and out of the spot light, who openly or secretly desire Non-White women over white women. Ted Danson, Robert DeNiro, and David Bowie to name a few.
I just don't want a disgusted white girl to be misinformed. Stop thinking that because you are white that you are some type of goddess.
Remember, when Non-White Egyptian Queens like Hatsepshut and Nitorcris were ruling Dynasties and armies of men in Egypt, you were over in the caves of Europe eating raw meat and beating each other over the head with clubs.
Read your history! It was the Non-White woman that taught you how to cook and season your food. It was the Non-White woman that taught you how to raise your children.
It was Non-White women who were breastfeeding and raising your babies during slavery. It is the Non-White woman that had to endure watching their fathers, husbands, and children beaten, killed, and thrown in jail.
Malay women were born with two strikes against them: being Non-White and being a woman. And, through all this, Still They Rise! It is because of the Malay women's strength, elegance, power, love and beauty that I could never date anyone except my Malay Queen.
It is not just the outer beauty that captivates and draws me to them. It is not the fact that they come in all shapes, sizes, colours and shades that I love them.
Their inner beauty is what I find most appealing about Malay women. Their strong spirit, loving and nurturing souls, their integrity, their ability to overcome great obstacles, their willingness to stand for what they believe in, and their determination to succeed and reach their highest potential while enduring great pain and suffering is why I have fallen in love with Malay women.
I honestly believe that your anger is geared more toward jealousy and envy than snotty looks.
If this were not so, then why do you continuously go to tanning salons to darken your skin? If you are so proud to be white, then why don't you just be happy with your pale skin? Why do you continue to inject your lips, hips, and breasts with unnatural and dangerous substances so you can look fuller and more voluptuous?
I think that your anger is really a result of you wanting to have what the Non-White woman has.
BOTTOM LINE: If I were looking for a docile woman, someone I can walk over and control, I would give you a call. But, unfortunately, I am looking for a Virtuous Woman. Someone that can be a good wife and mother to my children, Someone who can be my best friend and understands my struggles. I am looking for a soul mate and; unfortunately, you do not and CANNOT fit the bill.
No offense taken, none given.
Signed,
Malay Professional
- End -
Nel says: To my girlfriends, guy friends, Bloggers and readers in Malaysia or are familiar with the Malays and Malaysian culture, what do you think of the reader's response?
Nel thinks: Bravo, I would look up to a guy like this. I am so taken by his response and intellect. I would like him for myself, if I do meet someone like this Malay Professional. His Virtuous Woman must the luckiest woman, at least on the Malaysian soil, if not Planet Earth.
Nevertheless, just like Anne Frank, I keep my ideals, because in spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart. To be fair, all things being equal, I am sure that every woman of every race has her own strengths and weaknesses. No one is entirely good or entirely bad. Belonging to a race makes all of us ethnocentrics. But it is not wise to "devalue" another race or human being for the sake of being ethnocentric or patriotic.
For me, I am proud to be a Malay Woman. Well, Half Malay, Half Chinese. Malaysian!
As a citizen of a multi-racial country and a citizen of the world, I do not have racial prejudices in choosing my friends or candidate for a life partner. My discrimination is in choosing friends with positive attitudes and admirable characters. I also believe that Men, must also possess admirable virtues to get a Virtuous Woman. You must deserve her. Virtuous Men begets Virtuous Women.
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