All is fair in love and war, so they say. But it is not a just action to humiliate another human being because she will not subscribe to what you believed to be.
Black as Hell, Strong as Death, is the taste of the bitter pill that Medicine Man has prescribed to me last night. This, after he humiliated me after a simple misunderstanding that resulted from his unjustifiable possessiveness and unfounded jealousy. Amazing that even as a boyfriend he is terribly jealous. I wonder what kind of a husband he would be? He would probably murder me out of jealousy?
Last night, The Medicine Man accused me of having an affair with a guy friend, over an innocent phone call around 11:00 p.m. My friend needs my brother's number because he has a job to give him, so it's a business call in a way, and not even a social call.
I guess Medicine Man couldn't understand this as he wouldn't accept my explanation. Jealousy-filled rivulet of thoughts overwhelmed his senses. Worse, he called me Bitch. But I guess if I want to look at it in a positive angle, I wonder if he knows that BITCH means Babe in Total Control of Herself?
I wonder if he assummed his ex-wife had an affair, or did she really have an affair? There are three sides to reality - mine, yours and the truth. His chimeric reality seems distorted illusion that is a mental fabrication, grotesque product of his imagination.
Today, Medicine Man returned whatever gifts that I had given him while we were together, including his birthday present, and left them at my office reception. He also reminded me to pay for the diamond pendant he paid for me, "in case I forget." I haven't replied his sms because he has no courtesy to call me.
He said we'll just be friends now. After much disrespect, humiliation and much more, I refuse to call him a friend. Respect is a pre-requisite that I require from my friends. If they cannot give me that, then I am not interested to be friends with them. So Medicine Man is not my friend. I suppose, if it is true what he said that I am his only friend, then he had just lost his only friend.
What he did to me is unfair, even God doesn't plan to judge a man (or a woman) till the end of his (or her) days, why should you and I? But then again, all things are even at the end of the day. Biarlah Si Luncai terjun dengan labu-labunya!
Saudara, nyawa tiada harga
Harta kekayaan dapat dipungut
Bagai pasir di pantai
Samudera nafsu jin dan syaitan!
Tapi jangan cuba rampok
Dari daku kebebasan
Berfikir, berkata, bergerak,
Batas leluasa
Hanya taqwaku pada Dia!
(Kebebasan, Mac 1946)
Sweet beginning for love but a bitter ending to a friendship.
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