Like falling for all the wrong sorts of men. That's a waste of time, really, when I think about it. Or do you call that time an investment, because if didn't meet all the wrong sorts of men, how would I know how to find the right sorts of man? Hmmm, isn't that what you call lessons from experience?
don't look stupid
Reflecting on this, I've decided to redecorate my life, change my personal habits and lifestyle - to turn over a new leaf and discover a whole new me. Rebranding Nel. Like a phoenix, rising out of its ashes, I'm reinventing myself.
For starters, I'll focus on my daily routines whether at home or at work, especially on the overall structure of my day and the habits I have, which are either helping me or hindering me. Do a SWOT analysis or sorts.
I've become more diet conscious and keen to find a way to improve my overall health. I now think about what I put in my mouth and how often I get up and walk or stretch my limbs. I'm taking yoga lessons, I meditate, I climb the stairs and I dance. Good news is, the 6kg I've lost in just three months beginning January, has definitely given me a super booster to do better at improving my entire package, inside out. Good news is, I've even begun to move towards becoming a teetotaler once again - believe it or not, I haven't been boozing for about three weeks!
Really, I just want to feel very good about myself, and at the same time I also want other people to feel good when they're with me. Especially after my best friend, Belle of the Party, sort of spanked me in the butt for not being on good behavior. That was ouch!
So as not to waste my time with the wrong sort of people, I only want to be with people who matters to me and I only want to spend time with people who want to be with me for the right reasons. I want to be with friends who value and respect me, and appreciate my friendship. People who understand that being friends mean you have to be reciprocal in many aspects. When you dance, it takes two to tango!
Because I'm so bloody tired of yearning for love, and looking for Mr. Right that I don't give a damn anymore, I will stop looking for that elusive man, if he exists. Usually, when you look for Mr. Right, you'll end up with Mr. Wrong and for the wrong reasons. As for love, I think you can't force things that should happen naturally. If it's meant to be, it will happen. Didn't they say that love comes unexpectedly when you're not looking?
So, instead of yearning to be loved, I shall be loveable, and be generous with my love for others. And, instead of focusing on looking for Mr. Right, I'll focus on making myself Ms Right, someone I'd like to marry if I were Mr. Right.
Love will come my way, and the right man for me will come along, insyaallah. And I shall be prepared when he comes.
2 comments:
Dear Nel,
Are you sure you need a man in your life? Personally, I think the men you get out there (in KL) past 30 (which I am too) all fit into the metrosexual category, which to me is just a euphemism for the weak man who should just stick to being screwed up his a***. I’m not just saying that to borrow a phrase, I think it is becoming ever so true here with the rise of branding as a concept and lifestyle. Starbucks, Coffee Bean, Zara, MNG – every man and woman has been mercilessly sucked into this consumer heaven. In the process, the wholesome man of the yesteryear is dead – and gone with him are all the values and principles of old. Values which once made a man respectable in his own right. Principles which he followed, through thick and thin.
Today, the metrosexual believes that it is his right to have any woman he wants, any time of the day, month or year, right now. I haven’t quite figured it out, but perhaps the problem is that the culture here has not evolved to suit these modern day needs. Young people are pressured to find a partner, get married, and not be so fussy lah. Then they get divorced. Or they stay in a relationship which has been dead for years, only to please the in-laws. The metrosexual continues to go on his wild ride in the meantime. Right now (!), and in the near future, I do not want a man (aka the prince) in my life, because I have seen what is behind that metrosexual façade. I don’t know about you, but what I saw has made me laugh cynically and yawn out of boredom.
http://www.wordspy.com/words/metrosexual.asp
assalammualaikum Nel,
Hi! hmm... u definitely do not know me, I stumbled upon ur blog while searching for 'taman botany' on googles and been reading ur entry since. I must say that, I admire ur intelligence, ur stable job, ur circle of friends, your freedom, however, i must say that i share the same sentiment as ur best friend, belle... though i understand fully what u went through... i was there once, what belle said is very true, that the 'excitement being temporary like drug?'... u r lucky to have friends who care... i hope u dont mind me dropping by like this, i enjoy reading ur intelligent entries.
~poppy in bloom~
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