I'm glad Odeth and I didn't have sex when we first met. I was turned on by him and was estatic when he told me, "You turn me on" - well, it's probably my perfume. So, you see, it was Lolita Lempicka seducing him, and not me. I wonder how things would have turned out to be, should it have been that.
Two weeks came and went since the night I first met Odeth, and it's been three days since I met Odeth for the second time. I'm glad we didn't have sex although we spent a day and a night together. The drunk "I'm in lust" feeling had somewhat dissipated, and a formal feeling comes - I am sober now.
This sober state stabilized the unstable atoms of sexual chemistry I had for Odeth. I no longer want to satisfy my physical need - that terrible yearning has passed. What needs to be satisfied now are intangible - emotional, spiritual, intellectual.
Anyways, besides that...
I was just just reflecting on a conversation with an old friend, the optimum stage of evolution in a friendship or a relationship is when you can feel selfless unconditional love for a person.
It means, when you love someone, it is only to make him or her happy - not the other way around. Most people want other people to make them happy, regardless of whether they can make other people happy - because people are selfish and has no sincerity in loving others. They expect to be loved before they can fully give love. It's like, if he loves me, then I'll love him back. Otherwise forget it.
I think if one falls in love, then one just falls in love. There is no "IF" for love is an absolute sum game.
Most people fear their love will not be returned, so they'd rather not give at all. But better to have loved and lost, than not to have loved at all. I think if your love is returned, you're most fortunate - it will be the greatest gift shared between two people. But if you're unlucky, then consider it "sedekah" or goodwill.
What I mean is - whether Odeth and I are going to be in a romantic relationship or remain in platonic friendship, I think it is not wrong to love each other selflessly and unconditionally. Love and not lust, will be the basis of our relationship - and the medium would be either platonic friendship or romantic relationship. Whoa, this is really DEEP! I must be feeling profound today.
I don't lose anything by giving love. I will gain by having a bigger heart.
Gosh, if I'm gonna be any more generous than this with my selfless unconditional love, I'd be Mother Theresa reincarnated!
Really, am I making sense to you? Does anyone grasp my concept?
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3 comments:
Once that drunk "I'm in lust" feeling, it's like wokay, I suppose I'm just gonna have to be celibate for some time. Oh well, it's not that bad once that terrible yearning has passed. Yes! I'm no longer a prisoner of lust! I'm free, I'm free!
Ooopss...Odeth might be reading this :)
Well, Odeth can be "so into me" or "not that into me" - whichever is A-OK by me. Selfless unconditional love doesn't require that two people be in a romantic relationship - you can still have such love in a platonic friendship. Odeth knows what I mean.
I repeat: "Romance fizzles away when the flickers of the candle burn out, and lust dissipates once physical needs are satisfied. Au contraire, a good friendship based on honesty, sincerity, trust and love lingers on for much much longer - and for the fortunate some, it's for a lifetime."
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