Losing my virginity

I broke my personal record in successfully drafting a speech in just fifteen minutes, and delivering it fifteen minutes later - and winning as first runner-up of a humorous speech contest at PROMUDA Toastmasters Club on Thursday night. My entry into the speech contest was a last minute one - they need another contestant to make up the numbers.

My speech was about my getting married because I was horny, my wedding night and losing my virginity - a topic that brought surprised gasps and filled the audience's eyes with amazement that I actually will talk about such a hushed topic. But it was the only topic I can think about at the time, that I know best.

In a nutshell, there are three major events in one's life that are irreversible - birth and death and in between, losing one's virginity or innocence. The expected reason for my getting married is to build a life together with my loved one. But the real reason was - in the foolishness of my youth, I had gotten married because I was horny and wanted so badly to lose my virginity, at a tender age of 25. I could have waited until I am 28 at least but I was just too horny. That's the truth!

My first attempt to get married was when I was 21 and in my Junior Year at San Jose State University - The Ex-Hubby flew from Buffalo, New York to propose. I thought it was romantic so I agreed. We almost eloped because my mom disapproved - but I changed my mind because of practical reasons.

My second attempt was when I graduated two years later. Again, The Ex Hubby proposed and believing we are now more mature and ready, we approached my mom. She told the prospective groom, go and save money for the wedding. I am her only daughter and she wants a proper and respectable wedding for me. As a result we had to wait another two agonising horny years, when finally she had to agree because she was concerned that we were getting hornier by the year. We could have had pre-marital sex but then back then, I was against it in all my innocence. I was a very good girl, I swear!

So, we finally got married in 1995 - and thus my story began.

After the wedding, relatives kept talking at great lengths to me and The Ex-Hubby, and when we finally thought we can consume our marriage, my mom practically barred him from my room and the matrimonial bed because we have to go through another reception at the groom's house, which was two weeks after. You can imagine our agony.

After the reception at the groom's house, I had my period, so I was still a virgin even after two weeks of being married.

The next week was our honeymoon in Medan, Indonesia and another reception was hosted by The Ex-Hubby's sister's parents in-laws. It was a grand welcome, and practically over a hundred relatives we don't even know who came to celebrate. The Ex-Hubby's sister's parents in-laws insisted that we stay at their really huge house which has 10 bedrooms. Our bedroom, which was a guest room, has no attached bathroom and it was really not convenient to have sex and run to the bathroom to clean up any spillage! We thought, forget it!

The next week, we came home to Malaysia. Because we cannot afford our own house, we had accepted mom's offer to stay with her. Afterall, it's a huge house and with big six bedrooms, we have more than enough rooms for everyone. When we thought the coast is clear as mom had given her green light for The Ex-Hubby to join me at the matrimonial celestial bed, having been through all the ceremonies, the cat was giving us problem.


Have a Kit Kat

My pet cat, Didie, was very attached to me and she slept in my room. She would crawl under my comforters when it gets cold at night. That night she refused to leave the room, and was pretty hostile to The Ex-Hubby. If Didie had not been my beloved cat, then curiousity would have killed the cat!


Zzzzzz...

But thank God, after a few nights of trying to persuade Didie to sleep with mom, she finally gave in and we got all the space to us - so I finally lost my virginity about one month after getting married. It was a hilariously amusing journey for me.

Perhaps because we got married out of horniness, the marriage only lasted for seven horny years. What can I say, the years have been good, but the nights are not enough!